


Under Siege

by roslinadamasinequanon



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-18
Updated: 2006-10-18
Packaged: 2019-05-15 05:10:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 68,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14784165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roslinadamasinequanon/pseuds/roslinadamasinequanon
Summary: In this series of chapters Jed, Abbey and some of their family members are going to feel that they are under siege both emotionally and physically. In this first chapter Jed, Abbey, Zoey, and CJ are all dealing with the year anniversary of the Rosslyn shooting.





	Under Siege

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Abbey awoke slowly with the same queasy feeling she had been having for a few weeks now. She lay next to Jed willing herself not to throw up. She turned to look at her still sleeping husband and wondered how she was going to tell him that she was pregnant. She had known for three days now about the new inhabitant in her belly but Jed had been down in Atlanta at a DNC yearly meeting and she hadn't been able to tell him. Truth to tell, the poor man had no idea that she had even suspected anything about this little surprise. Jed knew her menstrual cycle as well as she did, but either she or he had been gone on speaking engagements regularly so the fact that she had missed her period would not have been as noticeable to him as it had been in the past. Even with all the typical pregnancy symptoms she had exhibited and knowing thanks to week in the Far East without birth control it could definitely be possible, she herself had been still been stunned when Dr. Mia Brant confirmed that she was indeed carrying a child. Now it was time to figure out how she was going to tell her husband. She had already decided that tonight would be the night since he didn't have anything planned after his town meeting other than drinking a beer and watching a softball game. She placed her hand over her still flat belly with a combination of excitement and trepidation, still unable to believe that another baby was really growing inside her womb. She glanced back over at Jed, hoping and praying that he was not going to be angry about this child's existence. She sat up tentatively, realizing right away what a big mistake that was when her nausea rose and overwhelmed her. She placed her hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom. 

At the sound of his wife retching, Jed padded over to the bathroom barefooted and stood in the doorway, watching Abbey braced over the toilet. 

"You're sick again?" He asked with concern. 

"Jed, you scared me" Abbey jumped. She was not ready to have this conversation yet. Jed was usually gone before she awoke so it had been easy to keep her morning sickness hidden. But, her morning sickness was now starting to become morning, noon, and night sickness and he had caught her throwing up just last night when he got home. 

"Yeah, I think I'm coming down with something," she lied. "I don't think I'll be able to go to the town meeting tonight." 

"That's OK," he said, handing her toothbrush to her. "You look so tired, hon. Stay in bed and get some rest. Maybe Zoey will want to come." Jed helped his pale wife back into bed and tucked her in. "You picked a good time to be sick. When I get home, I can take care of you." 

Abbey smiled wanly at him as he kissed the back of her hand and moved to begin to get ready for work. Oh Jed, she thought, please think this is good thing, please. She didn't know how she was going to deal with this if he was furious about it. He loved babies, loved children, but would he love it now at this point in their lives? 

+++++ 

Abbey lay back on the couch ostensibly reading a book, but really watching Jed change his shirt for the town meeting. She couldn't understand why this feeling of dread had overtaken her. She felt like a black cloud was hanging over them and that there was something she should tell him. Something that she should warn him about. He was so happy, so boyishly bouncy tonight. He always loved a good intellectual exchange and debate and was very energized for tonight's town meeting. He especially liked talking to young people; it brought out the professor in him. God, he had been a good teacher, caring, compassionate, and committed. His students had loved him. She also knew the downside of that, of the crushes his female students had developed on him. But he had learned how to deal with that as well. She knew that he was really happy that Zoey was going with him. He loved spending time with their daughters and took every opportunity to do so. He was also elated to finally have an evening off to just hang around the residence watching TV and doing nothing. So, why did she feel this strange sense of foreboding, a feeling of apprehension that gnawed at her and brought tears to her eyes? 

"Well, I'm off," Jed said, kissing her forehead. "You sure you're ok?" 

"I have about 25 people to wait on me hand and foot, I'm fine." 

"All right then. I'll see you when I get back. Love you," he kissed her forehead. 

"Love you too," she said although her mind was screaming for him not to go. But, she didn't warn him. She let him go, out the door and out of her life. 

++++ 

"Mrs. Bartlet...Mrs. Bartlet." The voice was breathless, the hand pushing her shoulder urgent. 

"H'mm...what?" Abbey asked startled, but still sleepy. It was Oscar, one of her agents. "Not another security breach," she groaned, "I'm too tired to deal with that tonight." 

"No, ma'am, it's not a security breach. We have to get you to GW now. The President and your daughter have been shot at." Ice immediately took the place of blood in Abbey's veins, her heart stopped beating, and she couldn't breathe. The room began to fall out of focus. "Ma'am?" Oscar questioned with concern. 

"A...are they alive?" Her voice was small, unnaturally high with fear. 

"I don't really have any details. I know the President was hit. I'm not sure about Zoey." 

"Give me a minute, please." She got to her feet racing to her bureau to throw out clothes to change into, willing herself not to break down. Don't lose it Abbey, she told herself, don't lose control. Because she knew that if she allowed herself to lose a shred of control, she would never regain it again. 

+++++ 

Abbey sprinted into the hospital emergency trauma unit. She saw all the black coated Secret Service agents guarding vigilantly outside a trauma room and knew that was where she would find Jed. She approached the doors of the room seeing dozens of doctors and nurses working on her husband's lifeless form. She was a surgeon; she knew this sense urgency and barely restrained panic in the doctors' voices meant that Jed was dying. He was covered in blood and the doctors were splattered with it. Oh God Jed, she thought, why did I let you go? Why didn't I warn you? The urgent doctor's voice brought her back to the present. 

"Let's shock him again. One, two, three." Abbey jumped at the shock wave that jolted her husband's body. 

"We're still flatlined." 

"Come on, Mr. President. Fight." The doctor was pleading with his patient as he injected a needle of stimulants directly into Jed's heart to try to get it pumping again. Abbey gripped the edge of a chair trying to take deep breaths so that she wouldn't pass out and praying at the same time. 

At that moment, a gurney holding Zoey was brought out of one of the other trauma rooms and Abbey approached to see how her daughter was doing. However, as she got closer, she watched as a nurse pulled the sheet up over her daughter's head. 

Oh God no, Abbey wanted to scream but all that came out was a deep agonized moan of loss. This couldn't be happening, not to her baby, not to her baby girl. 

"Mrs. Bartlet." She turned to see the doctor who had been working so desperately on Jed. "I'm so sorry. We did everything we could. The bullet did too much damage to the heart." Abbey couldn't comprehend it. What was he trying to say to her? The doctor sensed her stunned confusion. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Bartlet," he said gently, tears filling his eyes, "I'm afraid the President is dead." Abbey looked wildly from the gurney holding her daughter to the nurses who were weeping over her fully covered husband's body. 

"Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The scream came from somewhere deep in her soul and she felt the pain begin deep, deep in her belly. This had happened to her before and she knew she was losing her baby before she even looked down to see the blood staining her pants. 

"Abbey, Abbey, wake up. It's just a nightmare." Jed was shaken to his core at the horrible gut wrenching screams his wife had made in her sleep. An agent poked his head in, sure that something horrible had befallen the First Lady. 

"It's OK, just a nightmare," Jed said, motioning him to close the door as he held his wife's crying form. Max nodded his acknowledgment and shut the door well aware that everyone was on edge this week. It was just a couple of days until the one year anniversary of the Rosslyn shooting. 

"Abbey, sssh, it's ok, sweetheart. I'm here. It was just a dream." 

"Jed, it was awful," she shuddered. "I replayed the whole day of the shooting, only this time I knew something bad was going to happen and I didn't warn you. You were so happy and unaware. I let you go totally oblivious to the fact that you were going to be shot. I let you go." The tears started to flow again. 

"Sssh," he said, running his thumbs over her cheeks to wipe the tears away. "I'm not a psychiatrist but I'd say you dreamed that because you still feel guilty that you weren't there with me. Abbey, you didn't know, and you can't change what happened." 

"I know." 

"What else happened? Was it like your nightmares before?" 

"Yes. I think I pulled Zoey's memories of the trauma room into it too, because in my dream I was there while they were working on you. There was blood everywhere and the doctors were trying to save you. It was so real, Jed. I could see the nurses crying, hear the urgency in their voices. Then, I saw Zoey, and she was dead. Oh Jed, I could really see her dead on that gurney. Before I could even finish taking that in, the doctor came to tell me that he had lost you and, in that moment, I honestly wanted to die." She took a deep shuddering breath. 

"It's ok, Hon," he ran his hand up and down her back, "go on." 

Abbey took a deep breath and continued, "And then, while I was screaming that you couldn't be dead, I looked down and realized that I was losing our baby. I had lost all three of you. Well, four when you consider I didn't know I was pregnant with the twins. I just can't seem to shake that awful sense of loss and despair." 

The sound of the phone ringing interrupted what Jed was about to say next to his wife. He spoke briefly into the receiver and hung up. 

"That was your 'get your ass moving call' from Charlie, wasn't it?" She gave him a watery half smile. 

"Yeah, I'm supposed to have a meeting with the staff about our interview with Barbara Walters tomorrow night." 

"I know, I have a lunch date with CJ to discuss it. Go, it's ok." 

"Are you sure? I hate to leave you shaken like this." 

"I'm fine now. Besides, the babies will be up any minute so I have to get moving myself." 

"Abbey," he took her hand, feeling her pulse still racing. 

"Really, Jed, I'm fine. It was just a dream." 

++++++ 

Jed sat in the Oval Office sipping his coffee and absently listening to his staff discussing what he and Abbey should and should not say. In the end he knew that what he had to say to Ms. Walters and the American public was intensely personal and he would say it from the heart. What concerned him at the moment was his wife's emotional deluge this morning and the fact that CJ seemed to have the same gray smudges under her eyes that Abbey had, testimony to the fact that she was not sleeping well lately either. He knew that CJ would never come to him to talk about her struggle. She wouldn't burden him with that. God, he had come to hate that word. Since he had become President, nobody wanted to burden him with anything personal any more. Even Abbey pulled that crap at times, as if he couldn't handle the crises of the world along with the personal crises of his friends and family. The only time he ever seemed to hear about these issues was when they were about to become headline news. As they all stood to depart, Jed asked CJ to stay behind for a moment. He waited until everyone was gone then motioned her to sit back down on the couch. 

"How's it going, CJ?" Jed asked, leaning back in his chair across from her. 

"Fine," CJ said, puzzled. 

"You're doing ok?" 

"Yes." The word was drawn out seeking the hidden meaning in the President's questions. 

"Sleeping all right?" 

"Fine," CJ lied with a squirm. She didn't lie well. 

"CJ." 

"Sir, is there a reason that you are asking me these questions? Have I slacked off somewhere?" 

"Nope. You never slacked off that long night almost a year ago either. We've never talked about that, have we?" 

"What is there to say, sir?" 

"I'm ashamed to admit that I don't think I ever said thank you." 

"To me?" 

"Yes, to you. For being there for me and for Zoey, and later, for Abbey. I know how awful that must have been for you." 

"Do you remember any of it, sir?" 

"I remember flashes. I remember the white-hot pain and how hard it was to breathe. I remember the warmth of my blood and how cold I felt inside. And I remember knowing that I was dying and being angry about that because I wasn't ready to go yet. When Leo got back from Vietnam, he talked about boys on the battlefields crying for their mothers as they lay dying. I didn't want my mother. I wanted Abbey." 

"I know," CJ said softly. She was in a state of awe as the President rarely spoke of his personal emotions with the staff, at least emotions that were not anger or humor. Even Leo was not usually privy to this kind of openness. No, pain and anguish were usually reserved for the First Lady to deal with. "You asked for her a couple of times before you lost consciousness." 

"I was scared," he admitted without shame. "And then I could hear Zoey crying and yelling 'Daddy, Daddy don't die!' And I wanted so badly to comfort and reassure her, but I was choking." 

"On your own blood, I remember." CJ's eyes filled with tears reliving the terror of that moment in the limo. She had known the President was severely injured but, until he started coughing and choking on his own blood, she hadn't realized that he could be dying. 

"I thought you were going to die right there in front of me and your daughter." 

"But you didn't panic," he said with admiration. "I heard you talking to Zoey and reassuring her. It gave me a real feeling of peace knowing that you were taking care of her. It calmed me tremendously." 

"I assure you, sir, that I felt anything BUT calm. And I lied earlier. I haven't been sleeping well. How did you know?" 

"You have the same haunted, exhausted look that Abbey has. She's been having some nightmares." 

"I've been having a few of those myself. Have you?" 

"No. Not yet, anyway. I did for months after it happened, only mine usually centered on Zoey being hurt or Abbey or one of you guys. In a way, I was the lucky one thanks to the fact that I was unconscious. I can't ever know what you guys went through those first few days after I was shot and hovered between life and death. I know that those days changed Abbey forever." 

"She saw your mortality." 

"And that scared the hell out of her." 

"Sir," Charlie poked his head in, "it's time to leave for your physical." 

"Time to get poked and prodded, you mean," Jed grumbled, getting to his feet. 

"I take it your physical is with Admiral Hackett?" CJ asked with a knowing smile. 

"Why do you say that?" 

"Because if it was with Dr. Bartlet I don't think you would be complaining about being poked and prodded," her grin widened. 

"TouchÏ©, Claudia Jean, touchÏ©," he tipped his head to her with a smile as she turned to leave the room. 

++++++ 

"Jed said he talked to you today about the night of the shooting," Abbey said, sipping her Perrier. She and CJ were dining at a quaint little restaurant in Georgetown. Abbey would have preferred to dine outside but, with the Rosslyn anniversary looming ahead, the service was being extra careful. 

"Yes. I was a little surprised. He doesn't usually open up like that." 

"I know." Abbey wasn't surprised. She knew that Jed was aware of the fact that CJ would never release her own emotions without him paving the way for her. 

"He said you've been having nightmares again. I could tell it upsets him." 

"I know it does and I wish I could get them to stop. I guess it's still hard for me to get over the fact that I wasn't there." 

"Even though the President thanks God that you weren't there. I mean, if you had been with us, you would have been somewhere by his side, shaking hands and chances are you would have been shot too. You could have been killed, or at the very least, lost your babies. Do you think that would have made him feel better?" 

"No," Abbey said simply. "Intellectually, I know what you are saying is true. I just feel that when he needed me most, I wasn't there for him. I keep thinking of how much pain he was in and how scared he must have been not being able to breathe because of the blood in his lungs. He told me he knew that he was dying and I wish I had been there holding him in my arms." Abbey stopped for a moment to sip her water as a lump began to form in her throat. "This is going to sound stupid but, when we were first married, we went to see the movie 'Love Story' and we made a pact that night that when it was time for one of us to die, it would be in the other's arms. I feel as if I let him down." 

"The President didn't die. You didn't let him down. You were home taking care of yourself and those two babies that have given him so much joy this year. They are probably one of the few bright spots of happiness he has had this year. I watched him in Maine this summer holding and playing with Nicky and Aislinn and I could see the weight of the world lift off his shoulders. You were right where you should have been. And, when he needed you the most, when he was fighting for his life, you were there every step of the way. I'm the one that told the world the first word he spoke when he woke up was 'Abbey', remember?" 

"I remember. I also remember how scared you were that you were going to have to face the press and tell them the President was dead." 

"That is basis of my nightmares. I just pray that is one statement I will never have to make." 

"Me too, CJ, me too." 

+++++ 

The day of the Rosslyn shooting dawned bright and sunny and normal. That was what both Jed and Abbey were striving for, a normal day. But that wasn't exactly easy. As Abbey lay on her side in bed nursing Nicholas, she couldn't help but watch her shirtless husband pulling clothes from his dresser. The scars that she had grown so used to seeing and touching over this past year suddenly seemed to be more prominent, more vivid. Jed caught her intense gaze and knew instantly what she was looking at. He moved slowly toward the bed, pausing to gaze down at his wife and son, trying not to see the pain in Abbey's eyes. 

"Want me to get Ash before I hop in the shower?" He asked upon hearing his daughter begin to fuss over the monitor. Abbey looked into his eyes reading the message he was avoiding saying which was please don't worry sweetheart, everything will be all right. 

"Ok, thanks," she said, her eyes telling him that she understood. 

++++ 

A little later they had a relaxed family breakfast in the solarium. It was impossible to be somber when both were spooning rice cereal into the mouths of their smiling, gurgling babies. They didn't speak of nightmares or fears of safety. And if, after Jed kissed each baby on the forehead and then Abbey lightly on the lips, she held his hand a little tighter and a little longer than normal, he simply acknowledged that with a soft gentle smile and left for work. 

+++++ 

Zoey had been avoiding the television all day. The images of that night at the Newseum still made her physically nauseous. When she saw her father smiling and shaking hands so gregariously, so unaware of what was about to happen to him, it made her want to cry. Hearing the gunshots blasting into the crowd and the screams and chaos that ensued brought back that frenzy and confusion when her father had been thrown into the limo after her, bleeding and nearly dead. When her friends at school watched ER, the images of the doctors shocking her father and sending that huge needle into his heart would be so vivid and real that she would sometimes have to leave. 

Today had been an exhausting day at school and while normally all she would have wanted to do was go back to her dorm room and crash, tonight was different. Tonight she wanted to dine with her parents and spend the night in her room at the White House. Tonight was a night to be with her a family. A family that, a year ago today, had almost been shattered by a deranged gunman's bullets. 

++++ 

Jed sat at his desk and opened his briefcase. He frowned with puzzlement at the card that lay on top of his files. Sipping from his coffee mug, he sat back in his chair and opened the card to see his wife's handwriting. For a doctor, she had beautiful, neat handwriting. The nuns, who taught her and thousands of others at Catholic schools, had always insisted on impeccable penmanship. His own had been a source of dismay to his Sunday school teachers. He took another sip of the coffee and began to read the poem entitled 'If I knew.' 

If I knew it would be the last time That I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly And pray the Lord, your soul to keep. 

If I knew it would be the last time That I see you walked out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss And call you back for one more. 

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, So I could play them back day after day. 

If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute to stop and say, "I love you" Instead of assuming you would KNOW I do 

If I knew it would be the last time I would be able to share your day, Well I'm sure you'll have so many more, So I can let just this one slip away. 

For surely there's always tomorrow To make up for an oversight, And we always get a second chance To make everything just right. 

There will always be another day To say, "I love you," And certainly there's another chance To say "Anything I can do" 

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get I'd like to say how much I love you And I hope we never forget. 

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, Young or old alike, And today may be the last chance You get to hold your loved one tight. 

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, Why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, You'll surely regret the day, 

That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss And you were too busy to grant someone What turned out to be their one last wish. 

So hold you loved ones close today, And whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them And that you'll always hold them dear 

Take time to say, "I'm sorry" "Please forgive me," "Thank you." Or "It's OK." And if tomorrow never comes, You'll have no regrets about today. 

Love, Abbey. 

Jed ran his hands over his eyes and regained his composure just in time for his staff to enter for their morning meeting. 

++++ 

The living room of the White House residence was bustling with activity as the crew from 20/20 set up their lighting and cameras. Toby and Leo had wanted to do the interview in the Oval Office or a more formal room, but Jed and CJ had prevailed with their viewpoint being that this interview was very personal and should be treated as such. Barbara Walters, the anchorwoman who was to interview the First Couple approached Jed with a look of concern. 

"Sir, you may want to change your jacket." 

"Why? I've worn this before in interviews." 

"Not in this condition, I bet," she smiled, pointing to small wet spot on his shoulder. Abbey looked up from where she was having her makeup done and shook her head. 

"It's spit up, Jed. I told you I just fed Aislinn, and if you held her, to use a cloth" 

"You have baby puke on your jacket," Leo said with disgust. "Why did you have to pick the kid up?" 

"Because she was crying, Leo," Jed said sharply, "when my daughter cries, I pick her up. It's not the end of the world, I'll just run in and get another jacket." 

"One step ahead of you, Mr. President," CJ grinned, handing him a new suit coat. 

"Is nothing sacred to you people?" Jed asked with dismay. "Even my closet is not private anymore?" 

"Don't worry, I'll keep that secret stock of Yankee Doodle cupcakes I found a secret," CJ's soft voice held a hint of amusement. 

"See that you do," Jed grumbled. 

"OK, we're all set up," said one of the producers. Jed began to walk toward the couch and Abbey took off the cloth that had covered her while her makeup was being done and followed. 

"By the way," she nudged CJ, "I know all about those Yankee Doodles, but go ahead and let him think he's sneaking one past me. It takes so little to please him." 

+++++++ 

Leo was standing in the doorway watching the interview when he felt someone touch his shoulder. It was his goddaughter. He smiled tenderly down at Zoey and placed an arm around her waist as together they listened to the end of the interview. 

"Mrs. Bartlet, what is the most important lesson that you learned from this incident?? 

"Mainly that every person should never take a day or the people they live with and love for granted, as it can be taken away from you in a split second. I urge everyone to take that extra moment and tell your family members you love them, kiss them good-bye, because it may be the last thing they remember of you." Jed saw Abbey's eyes grow shiny with unshed tears and he squeezed her hand which he held on his lap between his. 

"Do you agree, Mr. President?" 

"Absolutely. When I was laying in that limo and I really thought that I was going to die, I wasn't wishing that I had spent more time in the Oval Office trying to push another bill through Congress. I was wishing that I had 5 more minutes to tell my wife that I loved her and to kiss each of my children one last time." 

"That's a wrap," the producer called out. 

And thus the anniversary of that horrific day one year ago ended on a positive note, a note of reaching out, a note of love. But, unknown to anyone in that room, the forces of evil were simply biding their time, well aware that soon, very soon, they would be committing acts that would make Rosslyn look like kid's play. 

Chapter 2 

Abbey returned to the residence after an early morning breakfast speaking engagement with the International Red Cross. It had been a week since the Rosslyn anniversary and she felt as if an incredible weight had been lifted from her shoulders. It was amazing how much better she felt now that she was not being plagued by those horrible nightmares. 

"Hello, Izzy," she smiled at the nanny as she entered the nursery. "Ah ha, here are my little angels." She leaned down over the crib rail to scoop Aislinn up into her arms. 

"They just woke up from their morning nap, ma'am," Izzy turned to look at Abbey while continuing to change Nicky's diaper. 

"It's a beautiful, sunny day. I think I'm going to take them out for some fresh air. 

++++ 

Abbey pushed the stroller through the White House gardens, careful to stay behind the shrubs and trees. She knew that on the other side of those bushes and behind the iron fence lay the throngs of tourists who clamored to get a peek at the First Family. She glanced up at the roof of the White House aware that, because she and the babies were outside, the snipers up there were on full alert. Behind her, the agents assigned to her and the children walked at a discreet distance. She tried not to allow the claustrophobia of it all get to her. Tried not to compare this stroll with the relative freedom they had been allowed at the beach. She had been right to tell Jed that if they were to spend five more years here they would need to purchase a little getaway farm. Her children could not grow up this way without any sense of freedom. 

+++ 

Jed watched his staff depart the Oval Office after a mid- morning meeting and moved to the glass doors that led out to the portico to take a quick breather before digging into the briefing file for his next meeting. A smile touched his lips as he watched Abbey pushing the stroller across the lawn, still wearing one of the slim fitting, short-skirted First Lady suits she favored and that gave the religious right a coronary. This one was in a pretty shade of deep purple. He opened the doors calling out her name and motioned her to come in. 

Abbey breezed into the Oval Office bringing with her the scents of sunshine and flowers. 

"I have some time before my next meeting. Do you have time for a little visit?" He asked. 

"We can stay for a little while," she began to unbuckle the babies from the stroller. "I'm going to have lunch with the twins, then spend the afternoon in my office." 

Jed took a soft blanket from the back of the stroller and laid it on the floor to sit the babies on. Abbey left for a moment to get some water from the bubblier just outside Mrs. Landingham's office. Good lord, she still referred to it that way. She wondered if she would always think of it as Mrs. Landingham's office. She noticed a stack of papers and correspondence on the desk. She took a moment to neaten the papers only looking up when Charlie entered. 

"Can I help you find something?" He asked. 

"No, I just couldn't help but notice how things are piling up here. You really need to find a new secretary." 

"I've had plenty of inquiries but he refuses to interview anyone." 

"He, meaning my husband?" 

"Yes." 

Abbey sighed. Jed always took things very hard and this was not going to be an exception. Not only would he see hiring a new secretary as trying to replace Mrs. Landingham, he also hated change and she cringed when she thought of what a new secretary would have to go through in establishing a new routine with him. 

"I'll talk to him, Charlie," she promised. 

"Abbey! Abbey! Come quick!" The demand was loud and it was urgent. Abbey felt her heart race wondering how one of the babies might have injured themselves. She raced in through the door to see Nicholas on all fours weaving back and forth as he tried to propel himself to get the rattle Jed held just out of his reach. Her son gazed up at her with his big blue eyes, looking a bit startled at the predicament he had gotten himself into. "He's going to crawl," Jed said with excitement as Abbey sat beside him on the floor. 

"Come on, Nicky," Abbey urged her own voice touched with excitement, "Come get the rattle from Daddy." Nicholas gave a frustrated half cry then moved his hand forward which was quickly followed by his knee to keep himself from falling and he had actually moved! He looked up at his parents with surprise and they both laughed at the expression. 

"Keep coming, son," Jed enthused. Leo stood in the still open doorway watching the little family scene for a moment. Abbey's skirt had risen up her thigh and Jed's hand rested familiarly on her knee. Both wore broad smiles of parental delight. Leo felt that dull ache begin to spread in his chest and he cleared his throat. 

"Leo," Jed turned to him. "Come in, Nicholas just learned how to crawl." Leo couldn't help but note his old friend's beaming pride in his son's accomplishment. Leo smiled down at the adorable baby boy and his sister who was, at the moment, trying to mimic her brother and get her share of attention. 

"That's great, but you do realize that you have a meeting with the Sierra Club members in about a half hour. We should go over the briefing." The statement came out harsher than he had planned causing Abbey to give him a startled look and Jed to flash him an angry frown. 

"I'm well aware of my schedule, Leo," Jed retorted, standing to help Abbey strap the babies back in their stroller. Abbey gave Jed a questioning look to which he responded with a shrug. He didn't know what was up with Leo lately, but he was about to find out. 

++++ 

Once Abbey had gathered all the kid's things together and had begun to head back to the residence for lunch, Jed turned on Leo. 

"What is up your ass lately?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"You heard me, Leo. Lately you've had some kind of bug up your ass every time I am with my children. Do you have a problem with me spending time with them?" 

"Of course not." 

"Then what is it, Leo?" 

"It's nothing, sir." 

"I'm not letting this go Leo, so you may as well spill the beans. What is it that is pissing you off?" 

"All right, you want to know? Sometimes I don't think you realize how lucky you are to be President. You don't always put your heart and your soul into the job, especially ever since Abbey got pregnant." 

"I can't believe you are saying this to me, Leo. Of course I put my heart into this job, but my heart also belongs to my wife and my children, ALL of my children." 

"I just don't think it was an opportune time to have babies. We have all this fallout from the MS and now we have to start thinking about re-election. You need to be focused." 

"Jesus, Leo, do you think Abbey and I planned this? Do you think she purposefully forgot to bring her pills to Asia so she could lure me into having another baby? Do you think I should have waltzed into a pharmacy with the crew from CNN trailing me and bought a box of condoms?" Jed's voice dripped with exasperated sarcasm. 

"No," Leo said, eyes averted. But you could have left her alone for one damn week he thought. 

"It was an ACCIDENT, Leo, but I'll tell you it is one that I am extremely grateful for. And you didn't seem too upset while Abbey was pregnant. You hovered over her like a mother hen." 

"I did not," Leo frowned as he remembered his fear for his friend's diminutive wife every time he saw her with her belly swollen so big with Jed's babies. "I was just worried about something happening to her." 

"I realize that, and I am grateful for your concern, but many other men have been able function as President AND be a father. It's not good to be completely focused on one thing, Leo. You need to live a balanced life. Right now, your life is too geared to work. You live and breathe this job. Hell man, you need a woman. I wish you'd let Abbey set you up with one of those women she is always bugging me about." 

"No way," Leo groaned. 

"Come on, don't you miss having somebody there at the end of the day?" Leo's mind moved to Abbey standing at the bottom of a staircase with a radiant smile on her lips as she moved forward to embrace him, but then it wasn't he that was holding her, kissing her, it was Jed. It would always be Jed. 

"No," he scowled. "I may watch you and Abbey and have a touch, just a touch, of envy that you get to start again, but that isn't for me. I sucked at it the first time around, I'd suck at it again. To be honest, it is a relief not to have to worry about Jenny anymore. I don't have to worry about working late and forgetting to call her; I don't have to live with her silent treatments and guilt. I can work late in peace. I don't need another wife." 

"Sounds damn lonely to me." 

"It would," Leo grinned. "You're the one that mopes around here like a little boy when Abbey is gone for the night." 

"I love my job Leo, and I take it very seriously. You know that Abbey and I understand that it has to come first most times. But, I am also a husband and father and you are just going to have to understand that. My wife and children are my world, Leo, and when I leave here, they will go back to being the biggest part of my life. If I hadn't believed that I could be a good President AND a husband and father, I never would have decided to run again. Understood?" 

"Loud and clear." 

++++ 

Jed was in the middle of his meeting when Ron, Nancy, and Admiral Fitzwallace burst in through the door. He knew right away that something major was up, as nobody ever just burst in on the President in the Oval Office. 

"What is it?" He asked flatly. 

"Sir, we have just received word that bombs have exploded at three airports around the country, one in Dallas, one in Minneapolis, and one in New Jersey. We also have reports that there was a car bombing at the Governor's mansion in Sacramento." 

"Simultaneously?" Jed asked. 

"To the minute. This is a concerted effort, sir." 

"Do we know anything about casualties?" 

"Not yet sir, although we do know that the Governor's mansion was empty at the time of attack." 

"Do we know who it is yet?" 

"Not yet," Nancy responded, "but we have a couple of good ideas." An aide burst through the door and spoke into the Admiral's ear. His face fell and he turned to look at the President. 

"Sir, another bomb has just detonated at Chicago's O'Hara." 

"Jesus Christ," Jed groaned, knowing the extreme amount of human traffic that made its way through that busy airport at any time of day. "We need to get to the situation room." 

"No sir, we are under attack. You need to get to the bunker." Ron grabbed his arm. 

"I'm not hiding out like some fucking ostrich in the sand while my people are under attack," Jed exploded. "What the hell kind of example is that?" 

"There is no question about this sir, you WILL go into the bunker. You'll be able to monitor things very well there," Ron stated. 

Jed could see there wasn't going to be any arguing but he had a few orders of his own to issue first. 

"I want to evacuate and close down all the airports in the country, and put the military on a code red and defcon 4. AND, before I go hide out, I want to go on TV and talk to the country." 

"All due respect sir, what exactly are you going to say?" Sam asked, as the white faced senior staff members had begun to enter the room. "We don't know anything yet." 

"I will tell them to be calm and know that we are taking care of things." 

"Sir, you have exactly 10 minutes to do this speech, then Ron is going to put you in the bunker," Nancy stated bluntly. "We have just received intelligence information that there is a bomb in DC that will be detonating sometime in the next 5 hours." 

"In the airport?" 

"We don't know where, sir. And this bomb is not like the others, this is a dirty bomb." Nancy's tone was calm but he could see the fear and urgency beginning to flash in her eyes. 

"A dirty bomb?" Toby asked. 

"It means it's full of radiation," Jed said with gravity. "If that thing goes off, thousands of people will die from the radiation alone. CJ, I want you to quickly pull one cameraman in here. Ron," he turned to the agent, "my wife and children." 

"Don't worry," Ron's voice was calm, "right now agents should have Mrs. Bartlet and the babies on their way to the bunker. Gina has Zoey en route and Ellie, Liz, and Liz's family are being brought to safe shelters as we speak. We are also evacuating the White House." Ron saw the relief in the President's eyes before it was again replaced with steely determination. 

"Tell me, Fitz, what are we doing to find this bomb?" 

"We're evacuating Congress, the State Department and all federal office buildings so the bomb sniffing dogs can go in. They are already at the airports." 

"It's a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack, isn't Jed said grimly. 

"We'll find it, Mr. President." 

Jed heard the rush of activity as all non-essential personnel were evacuated from the building and through that clamor, he heard his wife's raised voice. It was a tone he knew well, exasperation and anger, but this time mixed with a liberal amount of fear. 

"Let GO of me! I want to see my husband!!" 

Jed stepped out of his office into the commotion in the hall to see Abbey trying to pull away from two Secret Service agents who didn't seem to know how to handle her. If she had been a man they would have just unceremoniously lifted her and hauled her ass down to the bunker. But, this was the very small and very feminine First Lady and she was spitting mad. 

"I SAID let go of me," Abbey repeated angrily. "I want to see my HUSBAND." 

"Abbey," Jed said simply and she stopped fighting long enough to see him standing in the doorway. Relief softened her features as she realized that Jed was indeed all right. 

"Jed," she broke away to race into his arms, "what the hell is going on?" 

"I don't have all the details but we appear to be under attack. Bombs have gone off in several airports around the country." 

"Oh my God," she breathed. 

"Abbey, look at me," he cupped her face to gaze deeply into her eyes. "We have information that there is a bomb here in D.C. loaded with radiation. All of our girls are being taken care of. Zoey is on her way here. I need you to go down into the bunker with the twins." 

"OK, let's go." 

"Abbey, I said I need YOU to go down to the bunker with the twins. I'm not going yet. I want to address the nation first and I'm going to do it from the Oval Office, not some damned cellar hole." 

"Then I'll wait for you," she turned to Izzy and two agents who each held one of her babies. "Izzy, you take the babies into the bunker and we'll join you later." 

"No, Abbey," Jed said gently. "You go now. The kids need you." 

"I'm not going without you, Jed. Period. I am your wife and I will be standing right beside you through this." 

"Abbey, stop. You're going into the bunker. I need to know that you are safe. You have two babies who are going to need you down there." His tone was firmer now. 

"I said I'm not going without you, Jed. My place is beside you. I need to be with you if anything..." her voice began to quiver, but she stuck her chin out defiantly against the tears that threatened, "If anything more happens," she finished. 

"You don't get a vote in this, Abbey," he ran his hand over her cheek, his blue eyes filled with a strange hunger and intensity that she realized was because he was memorizing her face in case he never saw her again. "I love you baby, but you need to go. I NEED to know that you are safe." He tried to step away from her but she refused to let go of his hand. So, instead of breaking free of his wife, Jed turned back to look into her tear filled gaze. With emotions overwhelming him, he stepped forward cupping her face again his palms and he kissed her with a hunger and intensity that was amazing in a kiss so brief. 

"I love you," he whispered as he pressed another kiss just under her ear. He took a step back but their eyes remained locked for a brief moment before he turned to Abbey's agents, dreading what he was about to do to her. "Guys, take her." He pulled his arm back as the two agents began to gently pry her away. Abbey tried to break free, but realized her attempts were futile. Under her husband's orders, she was being taken away. She walked backwards, her gaze never leaving Jed, and he saw her big hazel eyes pool with tears. 

"Don't do this, Jed," her voice was barely a whisper and choked with emotion. 

"I need you safe with our kids," his explanation was a plea for understanding. "I'll be joining you shortly, I promise." 

Abbey knew she had rights. She knew she had the right to banish her service detail. But something in the way Jed had said he NEEDED her to be safe had made it through the haze of fear she was feeling. She knew he would not be able to focus properly if he thought that she was in any danger. She also knew that if she refused the protection he would probably send for the Marines who had to follow the orders of their Commander-in-Chief. She continued to walk backwards down the hall with an agent on each arm. Her eyes, filled with desperation, fear, and love were locked with Jed's intensely apologetic ones and they could neither blink nor look away. It was as if some part of each of them knew that this could very well be the last time they saw each other and they wanted to burn this moment into their souls. Just as the agents were about to pull Abbey around the corner, CJ strode down the hall with a cameraman. 

"We're all set, Mr. President," she said. 

"Let's do it then." He turned and went back into the Oval Office, ready to take on the world now that he knew Abbey was safely in the bunker with their kids. 

+++++ 

"God bless you all, and God bless America." Jed finished his statement to the American people and agents immediately swarmed him. 

"We need to get you out of here NOW," Ron said. True to what Jed had heard about these situations, his feet barely touched the ground as he was surrounded by agents and whisked out of the Oval Office. 

"Where are we going?" He asked with confusion as they went passed the turn for the bunker. 

"The Vice-President has already been moved into the bunker," Ron informed him, "we can't have you both in the same location so we're going to take you up into Air Force One." The doors were opened to the White House lawn and Jed could see the service and military were in full siege mentality. The path to Marine One was lined by armed snipers, the roof of the White House covered by them. 

"Is Leo back from the Hill yet?" He asked while instinctively ducking from the helicopter blades. 

"Not yet," Nancy informed him. "He'll be taken down into the bunker with Fitz and the Vice-President when he is brought back here." Jed entered Marine One with his national security advisors and only part of his staff. Because this was not an all out nuclear attack Josh, Toby, CJ, and Sam were all allowed to accompany him. Before Jed was even buckled into his seat, the pilot had Marine One in the air and on it's way to Andrews Air Force Base. Jed stared out his window as the White House got smaller and smaller. He prayed that Abbey would be able to get over the fact that he had yet again broken a promise to her. He wanted desperately to be able to be there to comfort his family the way he had just tried to do with the country. And he prayed with all his being that all would be safe down in that bunker and in the homes of every one of his countrymen. He knew telling the citizens of D.C. that there was a radioactive bomb in their midst would only have served to cause a mass panic and hysteria, making it more difficult for the officials to do their jobs. But it had not set well with him being unable to warn his people. He had been able to protect his family but not every American father had been given the information and opportunity to do so and that really ripped at his heart. He knew that if that bomb went off decimating entire families, he would spend the rest of his life second guessing himself and asking for forgiveness that he knew he would never give himself. 

++++ 

Abbey had never been in the White House bunker before and was surprised at how primitive it really was. It consisted of one large room with thick concrete walls. One corner held a communications system where Fitz and other members of the joint staff were huddled going over information and data. Abbey sat in an out of the way corner with Izzy, Zoey, and the babies. 

The White House bunker was stockpiled with food and supplies for the adult members who were being hidden there. It was not, however, prepared for two seven-month-old babies. So, Abbey began to take stock of what Izzy had been able to throw together in the limited time she had been allowed to pack a diaper bag for the twins. She had been able to grab a couple boxes of baby cereal and some jars of fruits and vegetables. Food would not be that much of an issue because she was still nursing so if they ran out of the jars of solid baby food and cereal, the babies could survive on breast milk alone. What concerned her was the diaper situation. If they had to stay for an extended period of time, they would run out of diapers fairly quickly. Oh well, she thought, if worse comes to worse they could always use the cloth diapers she used as burping rags and just continually wash them out. It wasn't an ideal situation, as they didn't have that many of them, but under these conditions and circumstances, that would have to do. 

Satisfied that they had enough supplies for the near future, Abbey leaned back against the wall wondering just what was going on upstairs and when Jed would be joining them all. While she had been busy making sure her children had what they needed she had been able to hold the worry and the tremors at bay, but now it all came flooding back to her. Come on Jed, she thought to herself, now is not the time for a long-winded speech. 

"I can't believe they are letting your father speak this long," she said impatiently to Zoey just as the doors to the bunker were re-opened. Abbey eagerly turned to see her husband but was instead confronted with John and Connie Hoynes. She knew in that moment that her husband would not be joining her. There was no way they would allow the President and Vice-President to be in the same location. 

"John, where is Jed?" She asked as she anxiously grabbed his arm. 

"I honestly don't know, Abbey," he said sincerely. "Connie and I just got dragged out of a lunch engagement and brought down here. Fitz," he called over to the communications area, "where is the President?" 

"In Marine One on his way to Andrews and Air Force One." Both John and Connie Hoynes watched the light fade from Abbey's eyes. 

"He'll be all right," Connie rubbed her arm. While John had certainly had his differences with Jed Bartlet, he had always liked Jed's wife. And, other than hating the way the press compared her to the beautiful First Lady, Connie had always gotten along well with Abbey. 

"Where are they going?" Abbey demanded. 

"We don't know, ma'am. They will be taking evasive action in the air, probably changing course several times. " 

John turned to approach the joint chiefs at the communications table while Connie began to walk over to the corner with Abbey. Commotion at the bunker door drew all their attention as Leo entered the room. For a brief moment Abbey had a flash of hope. Where Jed went, Leo followed. But, this time it was just Leo. 

"You didn't go on Air Force One, Leo?" Abbey asked with surprise. 

"I was on the Hill in a meeting. I didn't make it back in time," he scowled. It was obvious that he was less than thrilled about not being part of the main action on Air Force One and was instead stuck hiding in the basement with the Vice-President and a bunch of women and children. 

+++++++++ 

Thousands of feet in the air, with two fighter planes on each wing, Air Force One made it's way across the country, weaving and turning so as to avoid detection. The people on board were trying desperately to get what information they could and to try to base a plan of action. 

"Sir, we have word from the ground that the damage done in the airport explosions was not as severe as expected. Some planes have been destroyed and there have been a few casualties, mainly crew members, but nothing like the devastation that could have been caused if they had gotten the bomb into the terminal," Nancy said, having finally gotten the information they had been waiting for. 

"Well, that's better news than expected," Josh noted. 

"What about the bomb in DC?" Jed asked, "Any word?" 

"None yet." 

"Damn," he shook his head grimly. Time was ticking away and still no luck. Just as Nancy started to head back to the command center that they had set up, two members of the national security team approached her with ashen faces. 

"We just received word from the CIA that they have intercepted messages saying that we may have a missile attack against Air Force One." 

++++++++++ 

Abbey was used to being in control of emergency situations. As a doctor, she had been the one giving out the rushed orders and making the decisions, but today she was sitting in the corner of the room with the other women watching as the Joint Chiefs and Secret Service huddled with John and Leo. She knew they had been in contact with Air Force One and it had been all she could do not to rip the receiver out of Admiral Fitzwallace's hand and demand to talk to Jed. She hated that they were separated. If something horrific was to happen, she wanted to be with her husband, not hiding out with the Joint Chiefs. Her attention was brought back to her children as Nicky began to fuss in her arms. 

"Oh, baby don't," she sighed, lifting him to her shoulder. She knew exactly what his crying was going to do to her body, and sure enough, within minutes she felt her breasts tighten as her milk let down. She knew that she had pushed the twins about as long as she could. They hadn't been able to nap properly and now they were hungry and overtired. Her gaze began to scan the room. 

"What are you looking for, Abbey?" Connie asked. 

"Do you know if there is another room where I could nurse the twins?" She asked, her discomfort very evident on her face. 

"I don't know, I've never been down here. Leo would know, he's been down here before." 

Abbey handed Nicholas to Zoey and moved to approach the group of men. 

"Leo," she said softly. 

"What is it, Abbey? Are the kids all right?" He gazed at the twins who were both crying harder by now as their needs were not being met. Their increased volume only caused Abbey more pain. 

"I need to feed them, Leo." 

"That's OK, go ahead, we'll be here for awhile." 

"No, Leo, I need to FEED them," she emphasized, thinking he might get the point, but Leo was being obtuse. "Nurse them, Leo, nurse them." 

"Oh, didn't you bring any food?" 

"Yes, but I HAVE to nurse them soon before I burst," she blurted out, a statement that caused Leo's eyes to move to her chest and stare at her breasts for a long moment. "They aren't literally going to burst, Leo," Abbey smiled for the first time in hours, "but sometime today would be nice." 

"Oh...oh yes, of course," he stammered and Abbey could have sworn she saw a blush rise in his cheeks. "But there aren't any other rooms here, Abbey, this is it." 

"I'm not going to nurse them in front of the Joint Chiefs and everyone else. There must be somewhere I can get some privacy." 

"The bathroom?" 

So, that is how it was that the First Lady of the United States found herself sitting on the tiled floor of the bathroom leaning up against the wall with her son at her breast. She stroked his silky hair while he pulled at her nipple all the while giving silent prayers for her husband, her other daughters, and her country, praying that the bombing was over and that the radioactive bomb would be found. 

++++ 

With Nicholas and Aislinn's bellies finally filled and feeling decidedly more comfortable, Abbey buttoned up her blouse and opened the bathroom door. 

"What the fuck do you mean we don't have any contact with Air Force One?" Leo was bellowing. 

"We've lost all communication," Fitz's voice held a tone of pained gravity. "We can't pick it up on radar. We have to go by the assumption that Air Force One has been shot down." 

"Oh my God," Abbey's voice was filled with a pain so deep it made Leo bleed inside, and he turned just in time to catch her and the babies as her knees began to buckle. 

"Abbey!" John rushed to help Leo with the First Lady. He took Nicholas from her arms and handed him to Connie who had raced over at Abbey's cry. 

"Wh...What happened?" Abbey asked as she regained her equilibrium. "Why do you think Air Force One is down?" Fitz turned to look at the First Lady who stood before him with her baby daughter in her arms. She was trying so desperately to be brave and he would have given anything not to be the one to tell her what he was about to say. 

"We have intelligence reports stating that there was to be a missile attack on Air Force One," he said. "Soon after we communicated that to the plane, we lost any contact. We can't pick even pick up the flight on radar anymore. It's gone." 

"There has to be some sort of mistake." Tears began to flood her eyes. "Please," she pleaded, "please keep trying." 

"Mom?" Zoey touched her mother's arm tentatively and Abbey turned to see her daughter's stricken face. "Is Daddy dead?" 

"Oh Zoey," Abbey pulled her into her arms. 

"Mom, tell me the truth," Zoey demanded, pulling back to look into her mother's face. "Is Daddy dead?" 

"Honey, I don't know," Abbey said, leading her back over to the corner. "I just don't know. Nobody knows what is going on. All we can do right now is pray. We have to be strong and pray." 

Leo stood at the communications desk with Fitz, John, and the rest of the Joint Chiefs. 

"Anita, have you been able to reach Ron Butterfield?" He asked of one of Abbey's Secret Service agents. She had been trying frantically to reach her boss with the communications equipment the Secret Service used to keep in touch, but for the first time in her memory as an agent, she had not been able to reach anyone on the flight. 

"No, I can't reach any agent on the President's detail," she said with a worried frown. Leo had expected as much, he hadn't been able to reach any of his staff on their cell phones either. Air Force One and all its inhabitants had simply disappeared. 

"What's next, Fitz?" Leo asked, trying to clamp down on the anxiety that almost had a choke hold on him. That was his family on that flight. 

"I'm sending out some reconnaissance flights over the last place we had Air Force One on radar. We'll see if they can spot the plane." The last sentence was said grimly as they all knew that he meant the wreckage of the plane. Leo turned his eyes to Abbey who was seated on the other side of the room again, this time holding Zoey in her arms while she rocked the crying girl back and forth. Zoey held the rosary Abbey always carried in her purse. The one that had been blessed by the Pope when she and Jed had visited the Vatican, and the two were praying quietly. 

At that moment in time, the only thing that kept Abbey from descending into hysteria were the repetitive prayers that she and Zoey were reciting. Maybe that was why people found it so comforting to recite the decades of the rosary, she thought. The mindless repetition of prayers she had known since childhood, and the firm belief that God was listening to those prayers kept her emotions at least somewhat in check. But, once she had Zoey calmed, it was no longer enough. She needed information. Needed to know that everything that could be done to find Jed and the others was being done. 

"Sweetie, I have to find out what they are doing to find your Dad. Will you be OK?" Abbey asked, pushing her daughter's hair back from her face. 

"Yes," Zoey whispered, leaning back against the wall and wiping her eyes. Abbey approached the group of men with fire and purpose. 

"Leo, what are you guys doing to find Jed?" She snapped. 

"We're doing everything we can. We've tried every means of communication, but we can't reach anyone on the flight." 

"Maybe the communications systems are down." She was grasping at straws now, and knew it. 

"We've tried cell phones, pagers, everything, Abbey." 

"Obviously, not everything, Leo, or you would have reached someone," her voice was laced with anger and an underlying fear. 

"Abbey," he said gently, touching her arm to calm her. 

"Don't," she said forcefully as she shrugged away from his hand, "don't try to comfort me. There is no reason. That plane is just fine, your equipment is failing that's all." She turned away from Leo to face Fitzwallace. "You need to find my husband, Admiral." It was an order from a woman used to giving orders. 

"We're doing everything we can, ma'am. Oh wait, here comes the reconnaissance report." Fitz grabbed the phone and, from the look on his face, everyone knew the news was not good. Abbey saw the sympathy in his eyes as they caught hers and she felt herself begin to shake. She was thankful this time for Leo's steadying arm around her waist. 

"Well?" Leo asked when he hung up. 

"He didn't see any evidence of a wreckage." Relief flooded both Leo and Abbey's features. " However," Fitz put his hand up, "there was a lot of black smoke and he couldn't see much of anything. I think the smoke indicates that we have to start going with the assumption that Air Force One has been shot down and the President may be dead." 

"No" the soft choked plea came from Abbey "No.no..NO!!!" The pleas turned into a soul-shattering cry of anguish and Leo turned to take her into his arms. "No, Leo," she sobbed, her hands clutching at this shirt, "Jed can't be dead, there has to be a mistake, there has to be!" 

"Sssh," Leo stroked her hair as he held the woman he loved in his arms with his heart breaking for the torment she was experiencing over the loss of the man she loved more than she loved her own life. He knew that Abigail Bartlet would never be the same after today for, in this moment, he was witnessing a part of her dying. 

+++++++++ 

"Dammit, I don't like this," Jed was pacing in the communications room at the underground SAC base in Missouri. 

"Sir, it was the only way to assure your safety and avert a planned missile strike. By closing off communications and flying in under the radar, we were able to buy precious minutes to get us here safely," Nancy explained, not for the first time, to her irate Commander-in-Chief. 

"Well, can't we communicate with them now? Christ, they must think we are all dead," Jed ran his fingers through his hair with frustration. He couldn't imagine what Abbey and Zoey must be going through right now. 

"We need to keep quiet for just a while longer in order to make sure nobody is listening in." 

"Jesus, Nancy, I'm sick of running and hiding like a scared rabbit. I want to go back to Washington. I BELONG in Washington." 

"Sir, we can't let you go back to Washington until we have that bomb found," Ron stated calmly but firmly. 

"Well, find the fucking bomb!" He exploded. "I want to go home!" 

+++++ 

Leo accepted the information Fitz was giving him with less enthusiasm than would be expected for such good news. He turned to where his gaze had been falling quite frequently during this harrowing ordeal, back to Abbey. She had finally gotten the twins to sleep in their carriers and was now seated against the wall with her knees drawn up under her chin, her eyes staring blankly at the ground. 

"Abbey," he said, squatting down in front of her and placing his hand on her knee. "They found the bomb. We can all leave." 

"Wh...What about the plane?" She asked, staring him straight in the face with eyes full of pain and pleading, and dammit all to hell, that infernal glint of hope. She looked at him as if he could somehow will Jed to be alive and he felt like a failure for not being able to do so. For some unfathomable reason he couldn't bring himself to say the words, and merely shook his head negatively. 

"I'm sorry, Abbey," his voice was barely a whisper. 

"Don't look at me like I'm a widow, Leo," she snapped. "Goddammit, I am not a widow. Jed is out there alive somewhere." 

"Abbey," he stroked her knee, "I know this is hard but we have evidence..." 

"I don't care about your fucking evidence! I have evidence too. I feel him Leo. I feel him in here," she tapped her chest. "If Jed were dead, I would know it. My heart would be ripped open and bleeding and a part of me would be gone with him. But, I FEEL him Leo. He is still here." 

Leo was silent for a moment, almost convinced by Abbey's impassioned conviction that his best friend was still alive. 

"I pray to God that you are right," Leo sighed. 

"I should have been with him," she said flatly. "I should have been with him on that plane, but no, he had to force me down into this damned bunker." 

"He did it because he loves you, honey. You know that. Your safety and the kids' safety has always been more important to him than his own." Leo ran his thumb over her cheek to wipe away a stray tear. 

"I know," she said softly. "I just wish he weren't such a stubborn jackass sometimes. I wanted to be with him." 

"Excuse me, ma'am, but if you'd been with him, your children would be orphans right now." Both Leo and Abbey almost gasped at the interruption and the insensitivity of the female Secret Service agent who stood just a few feet away. Leo turned his glaring eyes in the girl's direction. 

"What is your name?" Abbey asked sharply. 

"Lori, ma'am." 

"Lori, get the hell out of my sight," she fumed, then turned to Anita who was the head of her detail. "I want her kept out of my sight." 

"Yes, ma'am," Anita said, giving the younger woman a glare of her own. 

++++ 

Abbey left the bunker feeling completely numb. She sent Zoey and Izzy up to the residence with the twins, promising she would join them shortly. She then made her way down the corridors back to the Oval Office. She remembered how just a few hours ago bustling with activity and full of staff members. Now it was silent and eerie, as if there had been a death. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind, not allowing herself to believe for one instant that Jed and his young, vital staff were gone. She entered the office with a compelling need to feel close to her husband. This was where he had spent his last moments in the White House. She moved forward, running her fingertips over the leather of his chair and glanced with tears at all his favorite pictures that adorned his desk. Leo stood in the doorway watching the grief begin to take over this woman who had been so strong all day. 

"Abbey, don't do this to yourself to yourself," he said. "Go up the residence and get some rest." 

"Rest?" She said, stunned. "Do you honestly think I am going to REST until Jed comes back into this office?" 

"I have to go to the situation room with Hoynes and Fitz," he said apologetically. Abbey remarked sadly to herself that Leo had the same torn expression Jed usually had when he wanted to stay with her but duty called him away. 

"Go. You're needed more there than you are here. I'll be fine." 

Leo reluctantly turned and left the First Lady to continue her wandering tour of her husband's office. She approached the open door to the bathroom, noting there were still drops of water in the basin. She picked up a towel that had been carelessly thrown over the edge of the sink and brought it to her face. It still smelled of Jed, of his bay rum aftershave, and the tears began to sting her eyes. While she stood, holding the towel to her face, she heard the familiar whirring sound of a helicopter and her heart leapt with joy. It was Jed! She raced from the bathroom to the glass doors overlooking the lawn, expecting to see Marine One bringing Jed home. Instead she saw two National Guard helicopters flying overhead to protect the city. It was only in that moment that Abbey allowed herself to feel any sense of hopelessness. Time was running out on any belief that Air Force One was just having technical problems and she had to face the fact that maybe she was wrong. Maybe she wouldn't feel torn apart if Jed were to die. Maybe her body wouldn't have marked the moment with at least a pang of some sort. When she turned back around, she saw a picture lying on the floor under the desk and moved forward to pick it up, needing to see what Jed had looked at just before he left. It was a photo she had taken at the beach this summer of him with each twin in the crook of an arm and his older daughters surrounding him. They were all laughing happily, so carefree and unaware of what events were just around the corner. Blinded by tears, she pressed the picture to her chest and made her way the couch where she curled up in the fetal position and finally allowed the tears to fall freely. She knew she should go up to Zoey and comfort her daughter, but she couldn't leave here. She couldn't leave Jed. The tears soon continued into all out sobbing. She cried so hard and for so long, that she actually cried herself to sleep. 

+++++ 

"Good to have you back, Mr. President," Leo grinned broadly as Jed entered the situation room. "All the information we had led us to believe that the plane had been taken out." 

"I was told that was a necessary precaution," Jed said tightly. He hadn't liked deceiving any of them that way. He couldn't even imagine what Abbey had gone through all this time. "How did Abbey take the news?" 

"I haven't been able to leave this room since I got here. The last I saw her she was in the Oval Office." 

"She still thinks I'm dead?" Jed asked with astonishment. 

"I'm sorry, sir, too much was going on. I couldn't leave." 

"Everything is under control at the moment," Fitz said with compassion. "Go find your wife." 

Jed strode down the hall with many members of his senior staff behind him ready to plan out strategy. He opened the door to his office and saw Abbey laying curled up asleep on the couch, her face streaked with tears. 

In her dreams, Abbey was plunging through the thick overgrowth of trees, through the thick smoke and fire, intent on only one thing, finding Jed. She could hear him, just off in the distance. 

"Abbey...Abbey...," he was calling out. Something in his voice sounded wrong. It was too loud, too close. "Wake up, sleeping beauty," he was saying. Why was he telling her to wake up? She was awake. And, with that thought, she awoke with a start, her heart still pounding from the reality of her dream. It was then that she saw Jed at the foot of the couch. She blinked her eyes, thinking he might still be a part of her dream, that he couldn't be real. They stared at each other for a long moment and, without a word, Jed opened his arms wide for his wife and she flew into them. Abbey was crying and kissing all over his face, causing the staff to smile with the joy of their reunion. 

"I thought you were dead...Oh God Jed I thought you were dead," she choked out. 

"I know, I'm sorry...I" Before he could finish his apology, Abbey stepped back and slapped him across the face. Everyone in the room gave a sharp intake of breath. 

"Hey, that hurt," he gasped in shock. "Why the hell did you do that?" 

"That is for having me removed against my will. That is for not coming to the bunker like you promised. That is because you scared the hell out of me, and that is because I love you more than life and I didn't know how I was going to go on living without you." She began to cry again and Jed folded her back into his arms, motioning for his staff to leave them. He then pulled her down onto the couch next to him, stroking her hair and muttering words of comforting nonsense into her ear. 

"What happened?" She asked when she had finally calmed. "Why did you disappear?" 

"I'll tell you all about it later," he promised, "but right now I have to get back to the situation room and keep a handle on what it is going on out there." 

"OK," she smiled at the familiar tone and apologetic look in his eyes. 

"You'll be all right?" 

"You're alive, Jed," she stroked his cheek. "I'll be just fine." 

+++++ 

Jim, the agent on duty outside the First Couple's bedroom, took a deep breath and opened the door knowing the President was going to be pissed at yet again being roused from a sound sleep in the middle of the night. It was 3:00 am and all was quiet in the bedroom save for the soft snoring of the President. The First Lady lay draped over his chest, her copper hair covering her face. 

"Sir...sir," Jim prodded at his arm, "wake up sir." 

"What the hell?" Jed grumbled cracking one eye open. "Oh Christ, not you again." 

"I'm sorry, sir, there's been another threat. We need to get you and the family back down into the bunker." 

"Not again," he groaned, feeling Abbey begin to stir in his arms. 

"I'm afraid so." 

"What's going on?" Abbey asked, squinting up at them and pushing the hair back out of her face. 

"Back to the bunker, babe," Jed patted her hip and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He grabbed his robe and put it on before tossing Abbey's over to her. 

"This is getting to be a nightly ritual," Abbey said with irritation as she belted the silk robe around her slender waist. "Nicky and Aislinn are getting all thrown off schedule." 

"I told you that you should go home to the farm with them," he whispered as they entered the nursery to each gently lift a sleeping baby into their arms while trying to keep them from waking up. 

"Like hell," Abbey said firmly while rubbing her son's back to move him from whimpers back to sleep. "You know that if I leave with the kids, the people of DC are going to know there is a threat and it will cause a huge panic. I am the First Lady, just as you are the President and this is where I belong. Besides, I told you, I'm not leaving your side again." 

"Ever?" He raised an eyebrow. "That could be quite interesting." 

"You know what I mean," she narrowed her eyes at him. 

"Yeah," he said, letting go of his baiting. He would never exactly know what Abbey had gone through in that bunker but he knew it would have a lasting effect on her. She had always been a very affectionate lover and sleeping companion. A woman who liked to cuddle and be cuddled while she slept. Thanks to her sometimes bizarre hours at the hospital and then his stretch in Congress she had been forced to learn to fall asleep without him, not that she liked it. Still, he loved the way she unconsciously rolled toward his body when he crawled into the bed at all hours of the night to snuggle up to him. But, since the day of the bombings, he had come to bed long after midnight to find her either still reading, curled in bed watching a movie, or tossing and turning. It was easy to see the relief in her eyes when he entered the room and only then could she relax and curl in his arms to sleep. 

++++++++ 

The Presidential motorcade pulled up to a large stone church in the heart of Los Angeles. It was the third and last memorial service for the victims of the bombings that the First Couple had attended in as many days. Abbey sat leaning her head back against the seat with her eyes closed as she geared herself for the grief and emotional outpouring that would occur during the service and when talking with the victims' families. She had never been able to harden herself for this despite having to do it so many times, first as a doctor, and now as First Lady. She could never harden herself to the denial, the shock and ultimately the horrific grief when she had to tell a husband, a wife, a mother, a father that their loved one had passed on. She had always tried to do it gently and with compassion, always wondering how on earth she would be able to bear it if she were in their place. But not being able to harden yourself could also be emotionally exhausting. As a doctor, it had always been best for her when she immediately had to work on another patient, thus being able to switch gears into working hard for the still living. It was losing a patient at the end of her shift, or one she had been called in for an emergency consultation on, that took the most out of her. Those were the nights she drove home with hands clamped over the steering wheel, forcing herself to keep her emotions at bay until she got home. Jed, bless his heart, always seemed to know when something had gone wrong and kept the girls away while she changed into a warm comfortable robe and pulled herself together. It was only later when it was just the two of them that she allowed herself to feel the pain and take comfort in her husband's strong compassionate arms. 

Yet, somehow being the First Lady and comforting the grieving families of the victims of natural disasters, violence, or even terrorism was more difficult. As a physician, a surgeon, she could give them answers about why their loved ones were gone. It was so much harder when she didn't have any reasons or explanations. 

"We're here," Jed breathed as the limo stopped. Abbey looked at his strained face. Out of everything he did as President, she knew this was one of the hardest for him. He had never found it easy to deal with grief and loss and the words did not come easy for him. If anything, her husband empathized too much with the people he was supposed to give comforting words too. He knew that there wasn't anything anyone could say in a situation like this that would make him feel any better if he had lost a member of his family, and so he believed anything he said would be totally inadequate. It wasn't just the victims' families she would be comforting today, it was her husband as well. Abbey lifted his hand, kissing the back of it gently. 

"OK, let's go." 

+++++++++ 

(One month later) 

Jed sat at his desk in the Oval Office going over some information he had asked for on land mines. It had been a busy and tense month for he and his staff. While the FBI searched for the groups responsible for the bombings, every threat, no matter how bizarre or far-fetched, had to be treated seriously. But gradually the threats had begun to slow down and life in the White House was beginning to gain some sense of normalcy again. It had been over two weeks since the last time the Secret Service had to awaken the first family for another trip down to the bunker, something for which both Jed and Abbey were eternally grateful. 

"Sir?" CJ said, entering the Oval Office. "I hate to bug you with something as asinine as this but have you heard of Thomas Stanton?" 

"I believe he is the yahoo who has never met my wife but has written some kind of unauthorized biography about her." 

"That would be the one. Well, in the briefing today, I was asked about a passage where he states that since the birth of the twins, the First Lady has been addicted to pain pills and that is why she was virtually absent from public life for the first two months after the birth." 

Jed merely glanced skeptically over his glasses at his press secretary. 

"I take it the answer is no," CJ tried not to smile. She loved coming to him with this off the wall stuff she knew wasn't true just to see his reaction. 

"CJ, you sat outside my wife's room for over 8 hours that night. Did it sound like she had any pain medication?" 

"No sir," she bit her lip feeling the giggle rising. 

"As for being out of commission for two months, good Christ, she had just given birth to twins and we didn't have a nanny for over a month. She wanted to care for them on her own. Let's just say that didn't give her a lot of time to give speeches and go to lunches." 

"So your answer is no to the sitting around stoned?" CJ chuckled. 

"Go," he said, motioning her to the door, trying not to laugh until she left. He knew these things made CJ's day. 

"Yes, sir," she started to leave but turned back to him. 

"What is it now, Claudia Jean? Are we putting beer in the babies' bottles, a shot of whiskey to knock them out at night?" He asked sarcastically. 

"Don't give him any ideas," CJ smiled. "No, I was just wondering if everything is OK with Ellie?" 

"Ellie?" Jed questioned. "Why would you ask?" 

"I just went to the East Wing to give Mrs. Bartlet the laugh about this, but she is speaking at a luncheon at the University of Virginia..." 

"I'm aware of my wife's schedule, CJ, what has that got to do with Ellie?" 

"I was just getting to that, sir. I bumped into Ellie on my way out. I haven't seen her for a while so I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't look up at me." 

"I thought she only did that with me," Jed sighed. 

"No, sir, this was different. She kept her head down and practically rushed away from me." 

"Did she say where she was going?" Jed frowned. 

"She said she was going to wait for her mother in the residence." 

"OK, thanks for the heads up." As CJ exited, Jed called out to Charlie. "What's my next meeting?" 

"In 40 minutes Rep. Brad Lungren is arriving for a photo op." 

"Good, I have time. Tell Leo I had to make a quick visit to the residence." 

"Is anything wrong, sir?" 

"I hope not." 

+++++ 

Jed swung open the door to the living room of the residence. He immediately saw Ellie laying stretched out on the couch, reading one of Abbey's medical journals. 

"Ellie, why didn't you tell me you were coming over? I would have cleared my schedule so we could have lunch." 

"It's OK, Dad," Ellie said with her face still in the magazine. "I just came over to see Mom." There was a hoarseness to her voice that caused him to approach her with his eyes narrowed suspiciously. He knew very well the voice of a woman who had been crying. 

"Ellie, is everything all right?" He asked. The concern in his voice caused Ellie's back to tense as she held back the tears she had been fighting. 

"I'm fine, Dad," she nearly choked on the words. 

"You're not fine, Eleanor," he said almost angrily. "I have asked you this a hundred times. Please do me the courtesy of LOOKING at me when I am speaking to you." 

Ellie ignored him, continuing to look down at her magazine but soon her shoulders began to shake. 

"Ellie, for God's sake," Jed reached a hand out to lift her chin, causing her long hair to fall back and reveal her face. Ellie cringed at the look of horror that crossed her father's face. 

"Jesus Christ, Ellie," he gasped. "What the hell happened to you?" 

"Daddy, don't," Ellie tried to put her head back down, but her father wouldn't let go of her chin. Jed was still gazing with horror at the yellowish/purple bruise on his daughter's cheek and her swollen split lip. 

"Ellie, who hurt you? It was Davis, wasn't it? Goddammit. I knew he was bad news right from the start. I told your mother..." 

"Stop it, Daddy," Ellie cried and Jed could see her closing off to him. It was a move reminiscent of him and now he knew how Abbey felt when he did it. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell, honey. What happened?" 

"Nothing. It's OK. It was just a stupid argument." 

"Eleanor Bartlet, your mother and I have stupid arguments all the time. They don't lead to bruises and cut lips." 

"Please, I really don't want to talk about it." 

"With me, you mean," he said bitterly. "You came to see your mother." 

"You'll just get angry. I..." The door to the living room opened. 

"Jed, what are you doing here in the middle of the day?" Abbey asked as she entered the room. Ellie's head instinctively turned at the sound of her mother's voice and Abbey gave an involuntary gasp at the damage done to her daughter's lovely face. "Ellie, my God." The tears and emotions that Ellie had been keeping inside suddenly burst forth at the pained tone of her mother's voice. 

"Mama," she cried and got to her feet to run into Abbey's outstretched arms. 

"It's OK baby, ssh...everything's OK," Abbey stroked Ellie's long silky hair. She gave a questioning glance over her head at Jed who shrugged his ignorance about what had happened. Abbey pulled back slightly and gently cupped her daughter's face in her hands. "Ellie, sweetie, who did this to you?" Ellie simply burst into tears and buried her face in her mother's chest. Jed's eyes watered as he watched Ellie enfolded in Abbey's arms. The pain his two women were in was almost more than he could bear. 

"It was Davis," Ellie sobbed. "Davis hit me. He was so angry with me. I've never seen him that angry. I found out today that I got my residency at Sloan-Kettering. I invited him to dinner so we could celebrate. But, he didn't want to celebrate. He wasn't happy for me at all, he was furious. He didn't get Sloan, he got his third pick," she took a deep shuddering breath. Abbey continued to stroke her back and her hair, urging her to continue on. "He called me a spoiled bitch and said the only reason I always got what I wanted was because I was the President's daughter. Then he came at me telling me that I wouldn't be gloating much longer and he slapped me across the face so hard that I fell to the floor. I still can't believe that he hit me." 

"Did he hurt you anywhere else?" Abbey asked, beginning to search her daughter over with medical expertise. 

"He hit me twice on the face and, when I fell down, he kicked me in the ribs." 

Abbey began to lift the hem of Ellie's shirt. 

"Mama, don't," Ellie sniffed, trying to push the shirt back down. 

"Ellie, I have to see what kind of damage he did. He could have broken your ribs." Abbey continued to lift the shirt, her eyes narrowing at the big purple bruise across Ellie's ribcage. She didn't know whether to scream with rage or break down and cry at the damage done to her child. Ellie saw the tears filling her mother's eyes, which brought on a fresh wave of pain. 

"Please don't cry, Mama," Ellie begged. 

Jed had hung back by the couch allowing mother to comfort daughter, but the fury had been building in him while his daughter cried and confessed what her boyfriend had done to her. However, it was seeing that big bruise marring her flesh that had caused him to reach the breaking point and now he knew that fury was about to erupt over. Davis Hunter was going to pay for hurting his little girl. 

"I'll be back," he ground out with barely restrained anger. Abbey looked at her husband over Ellie's head, seeing the icy rage burning in his blue eyes. She knew exactly where he was going and the only reason she didn't stop him from doing something that would cause him to end up in prison was because she knew Ron would take care of that. The fact of the matter was she wished she were going with him. She would like to tear Davis Hunter limb from limb for hurting her child, but that wasn't going to help Ellie right now. Ellie had her avenger out there in the form of her father, right here she just needed the comfort of her mother. Abbey turned from watching Jed leave the room to tilt Ellie's tear stained face up so she could look into her eyes that were so filled with pain and confusion. 

"Ellie," she swallowed, wishing she did not have to ask this question and not knowing exactly how she was going to deal with it if Ellie had endured what she herself had gone through years before. "Did Davis hurt you in any other way?" 

"What?" Ellie asked, puzzled. 

"Did he sexually assault you? Because if he did we need to get you to..." 

"No," Ellie said touching her mother's hand. "When he kicked me, I must have cried out pretty loud because Sophie, my agent, came in and took him down. That's why I came here. I knew Sophie would tell Ron and Ron would tell Daddy." 

"Are you telling me that you only came here because you knew we would find out?" 

"Partly. You should have seen him, Mom. He was so sorry for what he did. He told me he loved me and didn't mean to hurt me. He was crying, Mom." 

"Bullshit." 

"What?" Ellie's eyes widened at the term she rarely heard her mother use. 

"That's all bullshit, Ellie. He was trying to control you into staying with him. To play on your emotions. God, Ellie, you've visited enough homes for battered women and children with me to know what these guys are like." 

"He's not really like that, Mom. He's been under a lot of stress lately and his anger just got out of control this time. Come on, you and Daddy have had some knock down drag out fights. Can you honestly say that he has never once gotten so angry he hit you or shoved you?" 

"Ellie," Abbey said stunned. "How could you ever believe that your father would hit me? Have you ever seen him display that kind of rage?" 

"Not once, not even a little shove or something?" Ellie was pleading now and Abbey knew why. Her father was a good man, a loving man and, if in the past, he had made a mistake and struck out in a fit of rage then there was hope for Davis. 

"No, Ellie, not once, not ever, you know better than that. You're also smart enough to know that the son of a bitch will do it again if you don't break it off right now." 

"I know," Ellie began to cry again, leaning against her mother's chest while Abbey rocked her back and forth and murmured words of love and comfort against her hair. 

+++++ 

Ron Butterfield had seen the President of the United States angry plenty of times, but never had he seen the man quite this enraged. He had taken the stairs of Davis Hunter's apartment building two at a time and he was now striding down the hall like a volcano ready to erupt. 

"You do know, Mr. President, that I can't allow you to enter that apartment like Dirty Harry," Ron said as he and the other agents raced to keep up with him. 

"That little prick beat the hell out of my daughter. He is going to pay for that." 

"I understand your rage, sir, but I can't..." 

"Just allow me some fatherly retribution," he said, stepping in front of apartment 114. Ron nodded his acquiescence and Jed began to pound his fist on the door. 

"Open the door, Hunter," he shouted. "This is the President. You open this fucking door now or I'll kick it in." Jed stopped pounding as the door opened slightly and he saw the pale face of the young man who had beaten and kicked his daughter. Jed shoved the door open and barreled his way into the room, grabbing Davis by the shoulders and slamming him into the wall. 

"You get off on hurting women, do you?" Jed seethed. "You don't look so tough now when you have to deal with a man." 

"Sir...I didn't mean..." 

"I don't give a shit what you meant. Only the lowest of cowards hurts a woman. You are a weak, sniveling piece of slime and the only reason I'm not beating you to a pulp right now is because Ron won't let me. But if you come anywhere near my daughter again, I swear to you that I will tear you apart with my bare hands. Do I make myself clear?" 

"But Sir...I love..." 

"DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!" Jed slammed him back hard against the wall. 

"Y...Yes, Sir," Davis stammered blinking his eyes to clear the stars he was seeing. Jed let go of his shoulders and looked him up and down with a look of complete and utter contempt. 

"Men like you make me sick," he said with disgust and turned to leave the apartment. 

Before he followed the President from the room, Ron approached the shaken young man whose eyes were already filling with anger. 

"You better heed that warning, young man," he said sternly. "If you come so much as 100 yards of Ellie Bartlet, I'll let him tear you apart and I may even help out." 

+++++ 

Jed opened the door to the living room and noted that things were a little less hysterical than when he had left. There were two cups of tea on the coffee table and Abbey was holding an ice pack to Ellie's cheek. 

"There must be something wrong with me," Ellie was saying. 

"There's nothing wrong with you, honey. You had a lapse in judgment. It happens. Nobody invites violence against themselves." 

Jed closed his eyes at the pained tone of his wife's voice knowing exactly what she was referring to. Ellie also knew just what her mother was speaking of. She had only been six years old when her mother was raped and she certainly hadn't been told all the details of what had happened. But she had known with the vague awareness of a child that her mother had been hurt and was not the same for some time after. It was only later, when they knew the details would come out in the campaign, that her parents had sat her down with her sisters and explained the horrifying facts of what had happened that night in Boston. 

"It was different for you, Mom," Ellie said. "I loved Davis. There has to be something wrong with a person who loves another person who hurts them." 

"Not necessarily," Jed stated, making his presence known. Abbey turned to look at her husband and knew what he was about to explain to their daughter. She also knew just how difficult this was going to be for him. 

"It's time," he said, gazing into his wife's understanding eyes. 

"I'll be in the nursery if you need me," she said into his ear as she kissed his cheek and gave his hand a light squeeze of encouragement. 

"What's wrong, Dad?" Ellie asked, puzzled. 

"There's something I need to talk to you about," he said, sitting down beside her on the couch. "Other than your grandmother and your uncle Jon, the only person who knows about this is your Mom. Maybe I should have been more open with you girls but I wanted you to love your grandfather. And maybe I was a little ashamed and didn't want you to see your father as a victim." 

"What are you saying, Dad? Are you telling me Grandfather hit you?" 

"Yes." It was a three-letter word but one of the hardest Jed had ever uttered. "I spent most of my childhood trying to please that man but nothing I did was ever good enough." 

"You've got to be kidding. You got a Ph.D., you won a Nobel Prize, you were a Congressman and Governor. He saw all that." 

"Ellie, I could have been the greatest man alive and it wouldn't have been enough for him. What he really wanted was for me to be weak and submissive and stupid so he could shake his head in despair and revel in his superiority. But I wasn't that kind of person. Your Uncle Jon was, but I pushed him. You don't know what it's like to grow up in that kind of atmosphere. What it's like to always be walking on eggshells, never knowing what was going to set him off." 

"I grew up knowing that you and Grandpa didn't get along but I never knew it was that bad. Grandpa never hit me or Liz or Zoey." 

"I never wanted you to know it was that bad. Your mother and I made very sure that nothing happened to you girls. In fact, after your mother gave birth to Liz, we had a heart to heart with your grandfather. Well, I was there. Your mom did most of the talking. She told him that if he ever laid a finger on any of our children we would cut him out of our lives completely. And it worked. He never so much as raised his voice to you girls. Amazingly enough, there were times when I was even jealous of that. He loved you girls. Why couldn't he love me? Because, you know, the slaps and the punches were not the worst thing. The worst thing was that there were times I actually believed my father hated me. And I know there were times when I hated him with every fiber of my being. Before any of you girls were even conceived, I swore that I would never hit my children and that I would hug them and play with them and that they would know how much I loved them." 

What he didn't tell Ellie was that it made him physically nauseous to spank his own kids even when it was just a deserving tap to the fanny. So, when it needed to be done, it was Abbey who had to do it. 

"You did that, Dad. We've always known how much you love all of us." 

"Do you, Ellie? Do you know what it did to me to find out from Millie that you are afraid of me?" 

"I'm not afraid of you," Ellie said with surprise. 

"Maybe the word is intimidated." 

"Not by you. You're my Dad. But maybe I am intimidated by all of this," her hands moved to encompass the White House environs. "I know Zoey is like you. She loves all of this. She loves shaking hands and meeting people. And Liz, well other than Mom, she is the most organized person I've ever met. She loves all that strategizing and organizing on the campaign." 

"I know that you're different from them, Ellie. I know you don't like the campaigning and the attention and that's why I didn't push you to take a bigger role." 

"I just figured you didn't want me or need me." 

"Want you?" Jed said with incredulity. "Of course I wanted you. I was very disappointed that you didn't choose to campaign more with us. But I also understood. You were just starting medical school and believe me, having lived through that with your mother, I knew how difficult that could be. I never wanted my career choice to interfere or make things difficult for you or your sisters. That was why I didn't push you. Just because your sisters share some of my traits and my interests doesn't mean that I love them more. You are so much like your mother and, just remember that I fell in love with your mother. And I fell in love with you the moment you slipped from your mother's body into my hands." 

The tears began to stream down Ellie's cheeks. "I love you, Daddy," she cried, clutching on to his neck and suddenly she was a little girl again needing to feel her father's love and protection. 

"I know, sweetheart," he said into her hair. "Sssh...I know." 

+++++ 

Abbey gave a light tap and opened the door to the room her daughter slept in when she stayed in the White House. Ellie was laying in bed reading. 

"It's OK, Mom, come in." 

"Your father said you two had a good talk," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. 

"Mmhmm...Did you know that he actually went to Davis' apartment and pushed him around?" Ellie's voice was filled with a wonder that Abbey found surprising. 

"Eleanor, your father would go through the burning fires of hell for you, for me, and for your sisters and brother." 

"I know that Mom. I guess I've always known. That knowledge just got buried under all the layers of hurt." 

"Well, I'm glad your father worked his way under those layers. He really does love you Ellie. Although he may love different things about each of you girls, he does love you all equally." 

"I think I can actually believe that now." 

"I see so much of your Dad in you, sweetheart. I see it in your earnestness, your sweetness, your empathy, and the way you are always striving to do the right thing. Why are you smiling?" 

"Because Dad told me I was so much like you. He said that he sees so much of you in me and that he fell in love with you so why wouldn't he love me." 

"Well, I guess, like your sisters and brother, you are an amazing combination of genetics." 

"Thank God we come from a great gene pool," she grinned, then her smile faded with the memory of her father's words. "Except for Grandpa. I feel so bad for Dad that Grandpa treated him like that. I never knew." 

"He never wanted you to know," Abbey tucked a strand of Ellie's hair behind her ear like she had when she was six. "It took a lot for him to even tell me in the beginning. It's still very hard for him to talk about it. He's very conflicted, even now." 

"He shouldn't let it bother him. Dad is a great man, a much greater man than Grandpa ever was." 

"We all see that but sometimes your father can't. Sometimes he is still that little boy who could never be good enough or smart enough. All he ever wanted was for his father to be proud of him." 

"I didn't mean to make you sad, Mom," Ellie said, taking her hand. 

"You didn't. It always makes me sad to think about your father and your Grandfather." At that moment there was a light tap at the door and Jed stood in the doorway with a fussing Nicholas in his arms. 

"Sorry to interrupt this slumber party but I have a young man who is very hungry and Daddy just isn't cutting it anymore." 

"I'm coming," Abbey said, kissing Ellie's cheek. "Good night, sweetie." 

"Night Mom, night Dad." 

"Sleep tight, kitten," Jed smiled tenderly as he handed Nicholas to Abbey. After taking her son into her arms, Abbey wrapped her arm around Jed's waist and kissed his cheek. 

"What's that for?" He asked, puzzled. 

"For being a great husband and father. And because I love you," And because you got short changed big time in the parental department and I have worked so hard since we got married to make up for that lack of love and approval, she thought sadly. 

"I don't know what made you go all sentimental and mushy but I kind of like it." 

"Enjoy it while you can," she gave him a saucy Abbey grin as she turned to enter the nursery. 

"You know I will." 

Chapter 3 

"Hey Charlie," Abbey said, entering her husband's outer office. 

"Hi Mrs. Bartlet," Charlie grinned seeing the President's wife with a costumed baby on each hip. "Are you three going trick or treating or something?" 

"Not exactly," Abbey smiled. "They're still a little young for candy. I'm supposed to speak at a local daycare to promote federal aid for childcare and, since they are having a Halloween party, they invited Aislinn and Nicholas to come along and have fun with the other babies. They don't get the chance to see many other kids often." 

"I guess not," Charlie agreed. 

"I think I need to work on that a little harder. Get some of my husband's staff married off and making babies for my kids to play with." She realized what she had said when she saw Charlie's broad grin. "Oh, not you Charlie. You're MUCH too young to be thinking about marriage and babies." 

"You mean Zoey is too young to be thinking about marriage and babies. But didn't I hear that you were right around Zoey's age when you married the President and had..." 

"Why do my daughters and their boyfriends persist on reminding me of that?" Abbey sighed. 

"Maybe because your marriage worked out so well and they want to emulate that," Charlie smiled fondly. 

"A very diplomatic answer. You're becoming a bit of a politician, Charlie. Jed did want to see the kids before they left. Is he busy? Strike that, he's always busy, is anyone in with him?" 

"No," Charlie chuckled. "You can go in." Since Abbey's hands were full, Charlie opened the door for her. Jed was on the phone as they entered. 

"I assume we're coming home for Thanksgiving, Jon, but let me talk to Abbey and get back to you..." he glanced up, his face breaking into a grin as he saw his wife and children in the doorway. "I gotta go, Jon, it looks like some trick or treaters have invaded the Oval Office...No, they don't just let any kids wander in," Jed rolled his eyes, "it's Aislinn and Nicky. I'll call you later. Bye." He hung up the phone and approached the trio feigning a studious look. 

"Well, well, well, who do we have here? A little bunny rabbit," he tickled his daughter under the chin, eliciting a gurgling smile. "And who are you supposed to be, young man?" This time he tickled his son under the arm causing the baby to giggle. "Looks to me like you're a little lion cub." 

"Tell Daddy he needs to be more up on his Disney movies," Abbey said, kissing the silky blond fine hair on her son's head. "Aislinn is Thumper from Bambi and Nicholas here is Simba from the Lion King." 

"I thought Nicky was going to wear the devil costume?" 

"Bruno thought it might look like we approve of satanic worship." 

"You're kidding, right?" Jed raised a brow. 

"Nope. Serious as a heart attack," she handed him the now squirming Nicholas who was reaching out to his father for more tickles. "Remember this is an election year. Anything we say or do can change the ebb and flow of this campaign," Abbey mimicked the nasal voiced Bruno. Jed chuckled. His wife had always been a dead on mimic. 

"Good Lord. I always wonder how much lower campaigning can go, but do you really think people would question our nine month old son's costume?" 

"Think of the Christian right, darlin'. According to Leo, they already think you are performing abortions in the Rose Garden." 

"The lunatic fringe, DARLIN'. Besides, if I remember my Disney movies, wasn't Thumper a male? Aren't they going to think you're trying to turn Aislinn into a lesbian?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her. 

"Shut up, Jed," she rolled her eyes. 

"Actually, most of the Christian right..." 

"Jed," she stopped him by placing her fingertips over his lips, "I didn't come here for a lecture on the Christian right. I just stopped by so you could see the kids before we left." 

"OK, OK," he said and surprised her by sucking one of her fingers into his mouth, a move that sent tingles through her forearms and tightened her nipples. 

"Jed," she gasped, her head quickly turning to see if the door was shut. 

"Yes, Abbey?" His smile turned lascivious. "What I want to know is why Mommy isn't in costume?" 

"Really," she ran her wet finger over his rough jaw. "You were hoping for a wide eyed Alice in Wonderland?" 

"Nope. I actually was thinking more along the lines of the not-so-little Mermaid." 

"Did you just call me FAT?" 

"You...fat?" Jed burst into laughter. "Hardly. I guess I should have phrased that better. I was referring to these," he cupped his warm hand over her breast, smiling to find that she wasn't as immune to him as she liked to pretend, for her nipple was definitely hard against his palm "and the sexy not-so-little Mermaid." 

"Jed, I swear, sometimes you are like a hormonal teenage boy," her tone held exasperation but her eyes sparkled with laughter and the very feminine satisfaction she took in being able to turn on her man. 

"I have to take what I can get. You are going away next week to Vienna for 7 days." Their intimate moment was interrupted by a knock on the door as CJ entered. Whatever she had been about to say was lost in a gasp of delight upon seeing the twins. 

"Oh my God, they are just too adorable for words," she laughed as she strode toward Abbey. "Can I hold her?" She put her arms out and Abbey handed her daughter into her godmother's arms. "Gosh, I wish..." 

"The press could see them," Abbey finished the sentence for her friend with a smirk. CJ was first and foremost a press secretary and Abbey knew one picture of her with the twins in their costumes was worth its weight in gold as far as the campaign was concerned. "Don't worry, they will. We're going to a Halloween party at a local daycare and the press is invited." 

"Then you have that layout for Vogue this afternoon, don't you?" 

"What layout for Vogue?" Jed asked. 

"The one I told you about at dinner last night," Abbey shook her head. "You know, the one to show that a woman can have a career and be a wife and mother and part of Washington power politics and still be sexy. Of course the spin is that I am doing this to promote American designers." Jed thought about some of the female senators and congresswomen and other women in Washington power politics, and felt they could definitely take some lessons from his wife. He had never understood why women in politics felt they had to cut their hair, wear severe suits, and sensible shoes all in a way to appear almost asexual. His wife was a very powerful and respected woman and she had never felt the need to hide that very feminine side of herself. A woman was a woman, she was different from a man. Not better, not worse, just different, and it was shame that some felt they had to hide that in order to play with the big boys. 

"Jed, are you there?" Abbey asked, fanning her hand in front of the blank look on his face. 

"Yeah. I was just remembering that conversation now." 

"Nice try Skippy," Abbey tossed her head, throwing out one of her husband's favorite terms. 

"Mrs. Bartlet," Lily stood in the doorway, "we really have to go." 

"OK Lily," Abbey turned to take her daughter and son back into her arms. Jed moved to kiss his kids and then, while it looked like he was kissing Abbey's forehead, he was actually murmuring against her skin. "Will you be my mermaid tonight at the costume ball?" 

"I told you, our costumes are a secret. But I can assure you that you won't be disappointed." She turned to leave the room and Jed admired the swaying curves of her body. Even with a baby on each hip, and wearing those three-inch heels she insisted on that made her legs look a mile long, his wife still managed to walk with a graceful sexuality. 

"I bet I won't be," he muttered under his breath. 

+++++ 

Abbey couldn't believe how much fun she was having at the Vogue photo session. Having sent the twins back to the White House with Isabelle, she had arrived at the studio a harried mother with baby spit up on her shoulder and her hair sticky from the applesauce her babies had consumed at the party and then squeezed into her long hair with clutching hands. She had kicked herself for not wearing her hair tied back like she did most of the time now at home, thanks to the intrigue her children seemed to have with her long strands. She was forever stopping them from tugging at her and pulling her hair into their mouths. Looking as she did, she had reacted with a chuckle when Harry Nilson, the photographer who was to photograph her, had approached her with what he had in mind for the layout. 

"Mrs. Bartlet," he had said, "what I am looking to do here is something totally different. You are unlike any First Lady we have ever had and I want to exploit that. You are a beautiful, vibrant woman and you have this aura of sexuality about you that is almost palpable. I want these photos to say look at me, I'm a successful doctor, the wife for many years of an extremely powerful man, the mother of five, and yet I am still sexy." 

"I don't know what you mean by sexy," Abbey said with slight apprehension. "I don't think it's a good idea for me..." 

"I assure you, ma'am," he interrupted, "the photos will be completely tasteful and everything will be very subtle." 

"And I have the final say in what gets printed?" 

"Yes, I agreed to that." 

"OK then, let's roll." 

Abbey had her hair shampooed and dried, changed into the designer clothes laid out for her, and had her make up done. It was more make up than she was used to wearing she thought as she looked at herself in the mirror, but it worked for her. It made her look glamorous not slutty. 

Now she stood in front of a backdrop in a gold lame strapless, slim fitting gown that had a long slit up to her thigh. Her gleaming russet hair was pulled back from her face and held at the nape of her neck by a gold satin hair tie that allowed it to fall down her back in a straight ponytail. Her hazel eyes were lined with more black eyeliner than she normally wore, soft rose blush sharpened her cheekbones and her lips were made lush and full with raspberry lipstick and gloss. The only jewelry she wore was a pair of small gold and diamond hoops in her ears and her engagement and wedding rings, along with her mother's ring. Harry was urging her to allow one slender leg to slip through the slit and reveal her strappy gold stilettos and to drop the gold satin matching cape from her shoulders to rest on her forearms and then give him a sultry side gaze. 

Lily had always known her boss was a beautiful woman but, out there following Harry's instructions while sexy pop music blared from the boom box, she looked like a genuine model or glamorous movie star. 

Listening to Harry's urging appreciative excitement and the pulsing music had made Abbey feel sexy and desirable. And while at first she had been inhibited, never having done anything quite like this before, she soon lost those inhibitions and began to enjoy herself. She also got the wicked gleam of an idea. 

"Harry," she approached him while he was changing his film. "I was thinking that with Christmas coming I might have some pictures taken just for my husband. You know, not naked or anything, but maybe a little more risquÏ© than these." 

"I can do that," Harry grinned. The First Lady had not been what he had expected at all. She had been a really great sport about everything. She was also incredibly photogenic and had just the type of glamour that was going to look marvelous on the glossy pages of Vogue. 

"I would have to insist that the negatives are destroyed after they are developed. I couldn't take a chance that they could get into the wrong hands." 

"I understand. These will be for your husband's eyes only. I'll even develop them on my own so nobody else sees." 

"Thank you," she felt a shiver of excitement knowing just how well this gift was going to go over with her husband. Like most men, her husband was turned on visually and this would certainly be an eyeful. 

+++++ 

"Don't yell at me, I know I'm late," Jed called out as he entered his bedroom in the residence. He was stripping his clothes as he walked. "Do you have my costume?" 

"It's laid out on the bed," Abbey called out from the bathroom. 

"I'm not going if you got the Robin Hood, Maid Marian stuff. I told you I wouldn't be caught dead in tights." 

"Why don't you just go look instead of blathering on about it?" 

Jed stuck his tongue out childishly at the closed bathroom door and moved to the bed. A pirate. Now that was a good choice, he thought with enthusiasm. He could be manly and...His thoughts came to a halt as Abbey entered the room in costume. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he beheld his buxom wife in her 18th century pirates serving wench costume. The flowing red skirt fell to her ankles which was a hell of a lot longer than her usual skirts and certainly not as tight, but it was the low cut white peasant blouse with puffy sleeves that drew his attention. The scooped neck of the blouse revealed a generous amount of her cleavage. It was nipped in at her tiny waist with a wide black belt, and black laces tied the fabric up from waist to chest, which only served to enhance the busty look. Her hair was pulled back by a braided red satin hair band and allowed to fall in curls down her back. 

"Holy shit," Jed breathed. 

"You like it?" She purred with a seductive smile. "You did want the not-so-little mermaid after all." 

"This will do just fine," his finger tugged at the laces that almost seemed ready to burst at her breasts. "But Christ, Abbey, I'm gonna have to add more men to your detail." 

"What?" 

"I'm gonna need help keeping all the men off you in this get up." 

"Everyone will be in costume, Jed." 

"Well, I can assure you EVERYONE is not going to look like this. Do you have something you can cover up with?" 

"I have a red satin cape." 

"Good." 

"But that's only to cover up for the press on the way in. Inside it comes off." 

"Well then I better make sure to bring my sword. You did get me a sword, didn't you wench?" 

+++++ 

The Halloween costume party at the Romanian embassy was a Washington tradition and completely bi-partisan. The President's senior staff was mingling with members of their own party, and feeling out members of the opposition, for even though this was a party, the staff was always on duty. 

"I think the President is here," Josh told Leo and Bruno as the Secret Service began to swarm the room. They all looked up as the President entered the room looking very dashing in his swashbuckling pirate costume. Tan britches, black boots, a red sash and sword around the waist, and the ubiquitous black patch over one eye made more than one woman in the room openly stare. But, for the men, it was Abbey taking off the red cape that covered her from neck to ankle and revealing the costume beneath that caused the stares. 

"Get a look at that," Josh's eyes widened. 

"Oh my God," Bruno breathed. 

"She's gorgeous," the words slipped out of Leo's mouth on a sigh. 

"Good for her," said a grinning CJ dressed as Cleopatra. She had been in on the conversation when Leo, Bruno, and Josh had given her a hard time over her costume choices. 

Leo couldn't take his eyes off Abbey as she approached the group. My God, that tiny waist, those full breasts, those swaying hips, how the hell could any man resist that? 

"Hello Bruno, Leo, Josh," Abbey smiled sweetly knowing they wouldn't be all that approving of her costume choice. 

"You never ran this one by us," Bruno said. 

"Well, I wanted to be a famous couple from history but you nixed all my ideas. Napoleon and Josephine were out because you, Bruno, didn't want people to think Jed wanted to conquer the world." 

"Hey, I brought up you guys being King Arthur and Guinevere and all of us being the knights of the round table," Josh stated. 

"Leo nixed that as too Kennedy," Abbey said. Leo nearly blushed. That was the excuse he had given Abbey, but really, him dressed as Lancelot pining after her Guinevere had just hit way too close to home. 

"Then, of course, Jed refused to wear the tights for Robin Hood and Maid Marian," she grinned. 

"Well, robbing from the rich to give to the poor might be good for the left but it isn't going to win us the independents," Bruno stated. "I did give you a good non-controversial historical couple." 

"Yeah. George and Martha Washington," Abbey laughed. Jed nearly spit out the scotch and soda he had just sipped. 

"He wanted you to be Martha Washington?" Jed choked. "Does she look anything like Martha Washington?" He asked as he ran his hand in front of her from the neck down. 

"Not in that outfit," Bruno acknowledged with definite appreciation of the sight Abbey made. "I guess in retrospect that wasn't such a good idea." 

"You think," Josh laughed. 

+++++ 

Later as Abbey mingled among the crowd, she moved toward the bar to refill her martini. As she rounded the corner, she heard the voices loud and clear. 

"Can you believe the nerve of her showing up in that costume? My God, she is supposed to be the First Lady. The First Lady does NOT reveal her breasts like that." 

"This one does," sniffed another. "She is always showing cleavage and wearing those short tight skirts. And of course those ridiculously high heels." 

"Now ladies, let's not be catty," said a man's voice. "Abbey Bartlet is a fine looking woman and she has great legs. I say if you got, it flaunt it." 

"Hugh!" His wife Minnie gasped. "You've had too much to drink." 

"Even if I were stone cold sober, I would still think Abbey Bartlet was one hot woman. I may not agree with her husband politically but he is one lucky son of a bitch to have a woman like that in his bed." 

"Hugh!" The woman nearly squeaked her outrage and dragged her husband away leaving only two. Abbey recognized the voices of Clarissa Anders and Beatrice Virgil, two tight faced gray haired biddies, married to very conservative Republican senators. 

"When Janet Ritchie is in the White House, we won't have to deal with this kind of disgrace anymore," Clarissa stated. 

"It's not just the clothes. Did you hear that Secret Service rumor about what she did on board their boat this summer? Now that was disgraceful." 

Abbey's blood began to boil and she rounded the corner. 

"Hello ladies," she smiled. Clarissa and Beatrice nearly froze as they saw the object of their derision upon them. "I couldn't help but hear you gossiping about my sex life. Since you obviously want to spread this gossip, would you like me to give you all the facts?" She said this matter of factly, however had they known her, they would have been wary of the fire in her green eyes. 

"Wh...at?" Beatrice stuttered. 

"All the real facts and the techniques that I used on the President. I mean really, it isn't such a disgrace and, maybe if you learned a few things from me, you could keep your husbands in your own bed instead of slinking away to visit their mistresses in the middle of the night." 

"Well, I never," Clarissa gasped haughtily. 

"Maybe you should try," Abbey stated just as haughty and turned to leave. 

"AMEN," stated the male voice. 

"Shut up, Hugh," the three women snapped. 

As Abbey rounded back around the corner, obviously in a snit, she nearly bumped into Jed who stood clapping his hands lightly. 

"You heard?" She asked wryly. 

"You're really good at giving the what-for, Mrs. Bartlet." 

"I know I should have kept my mouth shut but..." 

"Abbey, when have you ever kept your mouth shut?" 

"BUT," she glared at him, "I hate self important priggish women like those three. I mean, my God, the way they were talking you'd think I was a whore for doing those things on the boat that night. And really you don't think their husbands' mistresses aren't doing that for them?" 

"Do they really have mistresses?" 

"Do you not listen to any Washington gossip?" 

"Obviously not as much as you. Would you really have told them all about your techniques?" 

"Are you kidding? And give away my secrets? Never." 

++++ 

In the limo on the way home that night Abbey noticed the hooded, desire filled sidelong glances her husband kept giving her. 

"Are we going to make it back to the White House?" She asked with a shiver of excitement. She wouldn't put it past him to take her right here in the limo. 

"Not if you don't shut that damn cape," he nearly growled his frustration. He couldn't believe that the less than 10-minute drive from embassy row seemed to be taking as long as it was. Instead of pulling the cape closer together, Abbey let it fall completely open. She had untied the laces across her breasts and her blouse gaped open. 

"You're playing with fire, wench," he nearly groaned the words. 

"I like to play with fire," she ran her tongue over her bottom lip. Jed clenched his fists. He had two choices. One, to try to make it back to the White House without his frustrated desire giving him a damned stroke, or two, since they were only about 4 minutes from the White House, risk getting caught ravishing his gorgeous wife in the back seat of the limo. He was so randy he actually considered number two for a moment. Instead, he gritted his teeth and nearly yanked Abbey out of the limo and down the hall to the residence. Abbey knew she had teased Jed to the breaking point and the thought that she would deliciously pay for that in a few moments made her blood race with excitement. There was a male and a female Secret Service agent standing outside the bedroom door ready to take command for the night. Jed swore he saw the usually taciturn male agent's eyes open wider at the sight of Abbey's costume, even if she had re-laced the blouse over her breasts. He nodded solemnly at the agents forgoing his usual "no interruptions" as that was quite obvious tonight. He slammed the door shut behind him and, before Abbey knew what had happened, she was in her husband's arms and he was kissing her hard and demanding, just as she had known he would. Sooner than she thought however, he was tearing at the laces on her blouse. 

"What is this?" She murmured against his lips. 

"I am the ruthless, vicious pirate, am I not? And now it's my chance to ravish you, beautiful wench." Abbey almost chuckled at the idea of Jed as ruthless and vicious but let that go at the sparkling desire in his blue eyes. She realized that while he might not be ruthless and vicious, he was going to ravish her and the anticipation of that was nearly killing her. She began to pull his shirt out of his trousers but he stopped her. 

"Hey, who's ravishing whom here?" He asked. 

"How about a joint effort?" She gasped as Jed cupped her face in his palms and began to kiss her with a fierce desire that left her breathless. She could feel that he was already hard as he ground himself into her belly for relief that only caused him more agony. His hands moved back to her blouse and, grabbing both sides, he tore it apart, exposing her breasts and startling Abbey with his forcefulness. 

"That's what all those men wanted to do tonight," he said, his mouth moving down her neck to the slope of one breast. "They all wanted you. But you are all mine. Only mine." 

"Yes, all yours, Jed," she sighed. "Only yours." She felt him fumbling with his trousers and in the next instant he was lifting up her skirts and tearing down the lacy scrap of material that she wore as panties. He dangled them on his finger for moment, smiling wickedly down at her, then flung them into the corner. In the next moment he lifted her into his arms only to take a few steps and drop her unceremoniously on the bed. He lifted her skirts even higher parting her legs with his hands. And, with both of them still pretty much dressed, in one fluid moment he thrust into her and kissed her savagely. Their foreplay had been going on all night and with a few pounding thrusts it was all over for both of them. Over almost as soon as it had started leaving them both breathless and shaking with the intensity of it all. 

Their cries of pleasure had not gone unnoticed outside the door. 

"Looks like the pirate had his way with the serving wench," the male agent deadpanned, receiving only a stony glare in response from his female partner. 

++++ 

A few days later Abbey stood staring out the window overlooking Washington. It was a city of incredible beauty and paradoxically one of intense ugly hatred. A city full of men and women who wanted to do nothing more than tear down the opponent. It was cold and it was ruthless and sometimes she wondered how she and Jed had ever ended up here. She thought she had been prepared for all his. However, being the First Lady of a tiny state like New Hampshire had in no way prepared her for being the First Lady of the United States. It had not prepared her for the fact that her husband's enemies would do anything to destroy him. Absolutely anything. And today she had learned that anything might include using her as a weapon in that fight to destroy. 

Sitting in Oliver's office earlier in the day, the realization of that had almost taken her breath away, had caused her chest to tighten and a lump to form in her throat making it difficult to swallow. She had wanted to cry, but would not cry. Not in front of him. Not in front of any of them. For the first time since all of this had started she had felt real fear. Part of that fear had been realizing the wolves had turned their frenzied yellow eyes on her and were circling in closer and closer to tear her apart. The majority of her fear though, was for her husband, for those wolves ultimate goal had nothing to do with her at all. They were going to destroy her but that was only a bonus in the fight to ruin him. To destroy him, and all she knew was that she couldn't allow that to happen to Jed. She had begun to panic, grasping at a way out, some sort of deal to keep them from being able to use her to hurt her husband. Oliver had forced her to re-think that position, but it was still there lurking in her head. She would not be used as a weapon against her targeted husband. She would never allow that to happen. Never. 

"Abbey," Jed said, placing his hands on her shoulders causing her to jump. 

"Jed, you startled me." 

"You were a million miles away." He turned her around and saw the tears pooling in her eyes. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing," Abbey said, stepping away from him to look back out the window. 

"Abbey, don't turn away from me. Tell me what's wrong." Then it dawned on him. "You had your meeting with Babish today, didn't you? Dammit, I told him to lay off you." Abbey could see he was well on his way to losing his notoriously short temper. 

"It wasn't Oliver," Abbey said quietly. "I can handle Oliver, he's actually becoming quite human." 

"Then what is it, baby?" It was the endearment that was her undoing and she turned to face Jed, a single tear trailing down her cheek. 

"They're going to use me, Jed." 

"Who?" 

"The Republicans on the committee. They're coming after me. They don't have a legal case against you and, according to Oliver, they may have one against me." 

"I won't allow that to happen, Abbey," Jed said firmly. 

"You may not have a choice this time. Remember that you aren't God, Jed. You can't always make things better. Not this time anyway." 

"Yes, I can. There are ways to stop them from tearing into you. I can..." 

"Don't you see? I don't care if they want to tear into me. I can stand that, Jed. What I can't stand is that it's you they are really after. How can they use me to hurt you?" 

"Oh Abbey," Jed sighed. "I don't see it that way at all. You are the one who is being hurt because of me. You were innocent, it was me." 

"No, I wasn't innocent, Jed. My motives may have been pure but I made mistakes. Oliver says there may be a way out of this. The Republicans may go for a deal." 

"No," the word came filled with Jed's pain over what was happening to his wife. "No deal on my behalf, Abbey," he insisted. "You've already paid a high enough price for me to be President. You need to do what is best for you, what Oliver feels is best for you. Fight the bastards, Abbey, and I'll be right there by your side. Just like you've been by mine time and time again." Abbey looked up into his eyes seeing the genuine honesty in their depths. 

"OK," she smiled. "But when you're by my side, my advisors get to pick over your clothes and tell you if your pants are too tight or your shirt is revealing too much chest." 

"Flirt," he smiled. 

"Jackass," she wrinkled her nose at him. 

Chapter 4 

The man in the downtown DC bar could not believe his good luck. Here he was seated behind a table that held three off duty Secret Service agents. Two men and a woman, a woman that was obviously irate. 

"I can't believe the First Lady screwed me over again," Lori was complaining to her colleagues, "I was supposed to be on her detail to go to Vienna next week but instead I'm back home on baby duty," she fumed. 

"She isn't taking the babies with her?" asked one of the men with surprise. It was a well-known fact that where Mrs. Bartlet went, so did the Bartlet twins. 

"No, I guess she's been having some trouble weaning them and she feels it will be easier for the President and the nanny to accomplish this if she is gone and completely unavailable to them. So, just because the First Lady can't get her kid off her breast, I have to pay for it." 

"Why do you think YOU are being singled out?" 

"I have been ever since the incident in the bunker. Up until then I was on daytime First Lady detail. Then, while Air Force One was missing and the First Lady is crying that she should have been with the President, I make one comment that if she'd been on the plane her kids would be orphans and suddenly I'm persona non grata and stuck on the damn night duty. She's like that though. My mother was the twins' first nanny and the First Lady fired her on a whim this summer." 

"Don't you think you're taking this a little too personally?" 

"No," Lori stated with exasperation. "Do you know what night detail entails? It's standing outside the President and First Lady's bedroom and listening to them fuck." 

The man at the other table felt his blood begin to boil at these words but took deep breaths to calm himself. He couldn't allow himself to lose control. He was too close to a possible link to Abbey Bartlet and he couldn't blow it. Instead, he opened a newspaper, ignoring the printed word to continue to eavesdrop on the conversation behind him. 

"Well, I can't say that I'd mind that," one of them men grinned. "That Abbey Bartlet is a babe. I wouldn't mind getting a little free porn by listening to her getting it on." 

"God, you guys are all alike," Lori stated with disgust remembering Jim's comments from a few nights back. "You know, I wouldn't mind having a go at the President myself but what I'm referring to is this demotion for no valid reason." 

"Hold that thought," one of the men stood. "I'll go get us some more drinks." 

After he left, the other man excused himself to go to the bathroom. This was it, the man behind the newspaper thought. His heart began to race, his palms grew sweaty and he felt his groin tighten at the thought of getting close to Abbey Bartlet again. This was his chance and he couldn't blow it. He got to his feet and approached the table where the Secret Service woman sat. Everything about the woman spoke of average and plain. She would never turn heads the way Abbey did. No wonder she hated her. 

"Hello," he gave her his best smile. "I couldn't help but overhear that you seem to have some anger towards the First Lady." 

Lori looked fearful now. Her big mouth could have just gotten her into a lot of trouble, especially if this guy was a reporter. She could have just lost her job. 

"Wh...well, not really...I" 

"Hey, it's OK. I have a little anger towards the First Lady myself. Why don't you come sit with me and we can discuss this?" 

"OK," the woman got her feet suspiciously, still afraid she might be getting herself into trouble, "I'm Lori." 

"Nice to meet you, Lori. I'm Marcus Hughes." 

++++ 

Jed sat in the study attached to the Oval Office. He was ostensibly reading a brief, however, he looked completely lost in thought when Leo entered the room. 

"Hey boss," Leo said, "You've been hiding out in here for over an hour. Something bugging you?" 

"Yeah," Jed sighed. "This whole Qumar thing bugs the hell out of me." 

"Well, it had to be done," Leo stated simply. Jed looked up sharply. The tone of Leo's voice had held a hint of, here we go again in it, and this was a tone that he was really starting to loathe. 

"Is that all you have to say on the subject?" 

"What more is there to say? It's a done deal." 

"I know it's a done deal, Leo. I made it a done deal. But everytime I make one of these deals with countries like Qumar, I feel like I am making a pact with the devil." 

"The women around here are giving you the evil eye again, aren't they?" 

"If they aren't, they should be. Dammit Leo, I have a wife and four daughters. YOU have a daughter. Don't you feel that somehow we are condoning this type of behavior on their part?" 

"No. It's just a deal, Mr. President. Missiles for money, and more importantly, a place to land and refuel our planes." 

"Yeah," Jed said, knowing that Leo wouldn't understand his moral dilemma. He rarely did. Oh he understood the dilemma, just not why he was having one. Leo was not a bad person or an immoral one, it was just that it was so easy for him, so cut and dry. His world was black and white and he never had to wade his way through the murky difficult gray areas that Jed often found himself lost in. To Leo the end always justified the means, and once he made a decision, he never looked back. 

For Jed that was simply impossible. In striving to do the right thing, he would spend days contemplating and wondering if what he had done was the right thing to do, or if there had been a better way, an alternative. And when he knew that it wasn't the right thing, the guilt needled and ate at him. And deep down in his gut, where the truth always lay, he knew the deal with Qumar was wrong. 

++++ 

Jed was late getting back to the residence for dinner and was surprised to find Abbey in the dining room eating all alone. She usually waited for him when he was late. 

"How was your day today?" He asked, kissing the top of her head before moving to his place across from her. 

"Fine," she said coolly and took a sip from her wineglass. Jed sat and began to serve himself from the platters on the table. He kept glancing up at his usually talkative wife who was simply pushing the food around on her plate. 

"OK," he sighed, throwing his napkin down on his plate. "You're pissed at me." 

"I'm not pissed at you," she said, looking down into the wine she was swirling in her glass. "Disappointed, hurt, and, yeah, maybe I am pissed." 

"You saw CJ today, didn't you?" 

"She came to my office. She was upset. We had lunch." 

"Damn," he groaned. He had hoped to soften the blow by telling her himself. By lunching with CJ he was sure they had fed off each other's outrage, and now he was going to pay the price. An Abbey full of righteous anger was a sight to behold. 

"Let's just say it's been a hell of a day in the Bartlet administration for the women's movement. First of all, I got a letter from Amy Gardner about the way they are putting the word 'forced' in front of prostitution in the treaty. It's ridiculous. ALL prostitution is forced." 

"Not all, Abbey. Some of these women make a conscious choice to become prostitutes." 

"They may choose it, but it is circumstances that FORCE them into the choice. Do you honestly believe that any women grows up dreaming to make a lot of money by selling her body?" 

"Maybe not, but I don't think Sam's call girl friend felt she was being forced to sell herself. She needed money for school and she chose the way to make it." 

"Do you hear yourself? Are you actually condoning this?" 

"Of course not. In my opinion, prostitution is morally abhorrent. But in some countries it is legal and we have to respect that." 

"Jed, did you read about those 13 year old Thai girls whose parents SOLD them to somebody right here in Maryland? SOLD them as sex slaves. They hung themselves. Jesus, those girls are Annie's age. How would you feel..." 

"Abbey, that was absolutely horrific and that guy was arrested. It IS illegal here." 

"Jed, they were CHILDREN. Children who chose to die rather than continue on as the slave to some man's depraved sexual appetites." 

"Abbey, we do happen to be FOR the treaty," Jed said quietly. 

"I know, I know. I just need to vent. It's so damn frustrating. Even with this treaty, this stuff will still go on." 

"It's a little step. I know it's hard to accept but that's the way politics works, in little steps." 

"I hate little steps" she muttered. 

"I don't like them too much myself. But I always seem to get myself into trouble when I try to take those big ones," he gave her a rueful gaze. 

"Or when you make wonderful little deals with countries who oppress women?" 

"I knew this was coming," he sighed. "We needed the air base, Abbey. Strategically we needed it." 

"So we just overlook the fact that women there are executed without a trial for adultery and beaten by their fathers or husbands if they are raped. You have FOUR daughters. How could you do that?" 

"You don't have to be my fucking conscience, Abbey!" he exploded. "Do you think this hasn't eaten me up with guilt all day? I had to do something as President today that I consider morally WRONG. I did it because my military told me it was what we needed to keep stability in the Middle East. It was something that I had to do as Commander-in-Chief and that I never would have done as a husband and a father of four girls." He strode away from the table to stand staring out the window, looking up at the stars as if for absolution. After a few moments he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry," Abbey said softly. "I didn't mean to make things more difficult for you. It's just..." 

Jed turned to see her struggling to keep her composure. 

"I know what these women are going through," she said in a small choked voice. "I was raped, Jed, and I can't help but think what that would have been like if you had beaten the hell out of me and thrown me out of our home instead of holding me in your arms and comforting me." 

"I'm sorry, Abbey," he pulled her into his arms, holding her head to his chest and stroking her soft hair. "Sometimes I feel like I have to apologize for my whole damn gender. What is it that makes men so fucking violent? Why do they hit children, rape women, sell their kids into prostitution, and buy those 13 years olds to serve their own perverted desires?" 

"Jed, come on. Not all men are like that. You aren't" she kissed his chin. "And none of the men I know are like that. Besides, some of those people selling their daughters into prostitution were women, and there are plenty of women who beat their children. Except for rape, violence is a human problem. It is not gender specific." 

"I really wish I hadn't had to make that deal, Abbey." 

"I know. But look, it's done and it's over. Just don't ever expect me to go on any diplomatic trips to Qumar." 

"I wouldn't worry about it," Jed chuckled. "I don't think they'll be inviting us anytime too soon." 

"Go finish your supper," she smiled. 

"We're OK?" 

"Yeah, we're OK." 

++++ 

It was 10 in the evening and Abbey had been gone for three days, and for the third night in a row, Jed was sitting in the rocking chair struggling to give one of his screaming children a bottle. This time it was Nicholas crying in his father's arms. Weaning had never been easy and Jed knew that it was best for the mother not to be involved, but he was beginning to wonder if these two were ever going to give up and accept the formula from a bottle rather than their mother's breast. 

"You are just as stubborn as your mother," Jed grumbled as he tried to force the nipple between his red-faced son's lips. Nicky moved his head from side to side trying not to allow that nipple into his mouth. 

"I suspect that Abbey would say that stubbornness is inherited from you," Leo chuckled from the doorway. 

"Either way, at least they come by it honestly," Jed sighed. "What's up?" 

"I wasn't sure if you were coming back down or not so I thought I'd run a few things by you before you went to bed." 

"OK, shoot." 

"Oh, here you guys are," Josh said from the doorway. "They're down here in the nursery," he called back down the hall. Soon CJ, Sam, and Toby had joined Josh in the doorway. 

"Hey, why do you guys only feel the need to do this when Abbey is gone?" Jed asked. 

"Maybe because we take our lives into our own hands if we interrupt you when Mrs. Bartlet is home," Sam admitted. 

"Damn right you do," Jed nodded. He was trying desperately to soothe his son who was pushing his bottle away and screaming with defiant anger at his father. The senior staff stood speechless and at a total loss over how to proceed. 

"What the heck does he want?" Josh asked, watching as Jed squeezed some drops of the formula on Nicky's lip. 

"He wants me to breast feed him," Jed snapped with irritation. Except for Nicholas, the entire room went quiet for a few beats and then everyone burst into laughter. 

"I'm not an expert or anything," Sam said with a sly smile. "But I think that may be physically impossible." 

"You think?" Jed asked drolly. 

"I thought Mrs. Bartlet was going to nurse them until their first birthday," CJ said. "What changed her mind?" 

"This," Jed said as he moved Nicholas to a sitting position and lifted his top lip to expose the pearly white tips of teeth in his pink gums. No words were necessary at all. 

"Ouch," Josh grimaced. 

"Ditto," Toby muttered. 

"Any more questions?" Jed asked sarcastically. 

"Why don't we all go and leave the President and Nicholas in peace?" Leo said, getting to his feet. 

"You can't take the crying anymore, can you?" Jed lifted a brow at his friend. 

"Nope," Leo grinned, "I'll leave the Daddy business to you." He shut the door behind him as they all departed. As soon as the door shut, Jed's attention moved back to his son. 

"OK, young man," he said sternly. "That is quite enough of this carrying on. This may not taste as good as your mother's milk, but it is perfectly good formula. Babies all over the world drink formula and so can you." Nicholas calmed slightly and reached his hand out to touch Jed's lips. Jed smiled and kissed his chubby hand. "I did warn you right after you came home from the hospital that you were going to have to learn how to share. Now that time is here. You've had those breasts for almost nine months and now it is Daddy's turn again." Nicky's cries had subsided while his father talked, but once Jed stopped, he resumed in full force. "You just keep crying and being stubborn," Jed warned him, "but I'll tell you right now that I can be just as stubborn and I'm not giving up on giving you this bottle. You're dealing with the master of stubbornness now." 

As Jed put the baby to his shoulder rocking back and forth, he made a mental note to apologize to Abbey for giving her a hard time about continuing to cave in and give Nicholas the breast when she had first tried to wean him. Because. despite what he had just told his son, at this point if he had a breast he'd take it out and give it to him. 

+++ 

The incessant ringing of the phone jarred Jed out of his deep sleep. It seemed as if he had only been sleeping for a couple hours and he was going to kill whoever was on the other line. 

"'Lo" he grumbled sleepily into the receiver. "This better be important." 

"Well, if that's the way you're gonna be, I'll call back another time," Abbey teased. 

"No, no, no," Jed said, brightening at the sound of his wife's voice. 

"What are you doing anyway? You can't still be sleeping, it's after seven." 

"Actually I was. I was sleeping all curled up with this sweet, beautiful blond." 

"She slept with you?" Abbey smiled into the receiver. 

"She and her brother. I guess they figured this bed is too big for one person, and with Mom gone, Dad might be a little lonely." 

"And were they right?" 

"You know they were." 

"Did I really wake you?" Abbey asked suspiciously. "You never sleep this late." 

"I do when I'm up all night." 

"Oh Jed," she said with disappointment. "It's not going well?" 

"I got Aislinn to take half a bottle last night but your son is fighting me tooth and nail." 

"Well, don't wear yourself out. Get help from Izzy." 

"Are you kidding? If he reacts this way with me, he'd probably have some kind of fit with her. At least he is used to being in my arms at night. Izzy takes care of everything during the day. How are you doing?" 

"I'm a little sore but it's getting better. Oh Jed, I miss them so much." 

"Abbey, don't cry," he pleaded. 

"I'm not crying," she insisted. 

"Yes, you are," he argued. "You know I hate it..." 

"When I cry," she finished the sentence for him. "I know," she sniffed, "I just can't help but feel that they must be wondering if I've deserted them or something." 

"You haven't deserted them, sweets. Besides, we talked about this. It's called tough love." 

"Fuck tough love, Jed. I want to cuddle my babies." 

"I know," he chuckled. "It's only a few more days though. And I can assure you that when you return, both will be accepting the bottle beautifully." 

"I'm going to hold you to that, Cookie. Well, I have to go. Lily is at my door. I have to give a speech at the University and now I have to re-do my eye make-up. Kiss the kids for me. I love you." 

"Right back at you babe." 

++++ 

A few nights later Jed was singing away in the shower feeling pretty damn proud of himself. Isabelle had a terrible head cold and he had sent her off to bed with a bottle of Nyquil. He had then bathed and dressed the babies for bed all on his own, and had even gotten both of them to drink a whole bottle. They were both now sleeping soundly and he was going to throw on some sweats, grab a beer, and kick back to watch the Celtics. 

The third period of the game was just starting when he heard a loud, piercing, pain filled cry from the baby monitor. He nearly threw his beer down on the nightstand, causing it to fall and spill as leapt to his feet to race down the hall barefooted and in sweats. He flung the door to the nursery open and ran in with several agents hot on his tail. Aislinn was sitting in her crib crying, her face scrunched with pain. 

"What is it, Sunshine?" Jed frowned with worry. He leaned down over the rail and lifted his daughter into his arms. "Did you hurt yourself, honey?" He began to examine her all over looking for any cuts or anything to indicate why she was crying like this. 

"Sir, is something wrong?" The agent named Jim asked. 

"I don't know. This doesn't sound like..." At that moment Aislinn gave a small hiccup and proceeded to throw up all over her father's shoulder. "Oh God," Jed gasped, holding the baby away from him which only caused her to cry harder."It's OK, sweetie, Daddy isn't mad at you." His need to comfort his daughter was now warring with his intense need to vomit. He could feel his stomach clenching and fought not to retch. 

"Do NOT laugh," Jed said, turning to look at the agents. "Come help me." He handed the baby to Lori, who tried not to show her distaste at handling the soiled infant. He quickly shrugged out of the now smelly stained T-shirt. Aislinn had begun to cry harder in Lori's arms but seemed to calm when Jed took her back. 

With the agents outside and back on duty, he took Aislinn's dirty sleeper off and washed her. He felt her forehead but couldn't tell if she was hot from crying or a fever, so he reached for the ear thermometer that hung in a bag on the side of the changing table. He placed it in Aislinn's ear, waiting for the electronic reading but nothing registered. He shook it and tried again. Damn, the batteries were dead. Now what, he wondered. He glanced back down and saw the old fashioned rectal thermometer they had had to use back when the girls were babies. He felt a shiver of apprehension and almost went to wake Isabelle despite her illness, but his pride would not allow him to do so. He had helped Abbey do this often enough and he should be able to do it. He dipped the thermometer into the jar of Vaseline and looked down into Aislinn's watery blue eyes. 

"Daddy is not a pro at this, Sunshine, so please, for the love of God, do not wiggle." 

++++ 

Abbey had been flying all night in order to get back to Washington and have a few hours of relaxation before a Women in the Arts luncheon. Even though it was early she was surprised to see Jed's agents still outside the bedroom door. She nodded to them with a smile and entered the still dark bedroom. As she moved to open the drapes and allow in the early morning sunshine, she tripped over a ball. She looked down at the offending object puzzled as to why it was in the middle of their bedroom floor. She opened the heavy drapes, then turned back around, her eyes widening with shock. It looked like a tornado had hit the bedroom. Empty baby bottles lay all over the nightstand along with a bottle of beer that had obviously been knocked over and had dripped all night onto the carpet below. Dirty diapers were rolled up in the trash and stuffed animals and baby clothes lay strewn all over the floor. The room smelled sour and stale. 

Abbey shook her head with exasperation. She couldn't believe that Jed had been able to make this much of a mess in one night, for she knew the staff must have cleaned up from the other days. She felt anger begin to rise within her and that was when her gaze fell to their big bed. Jed lay half under the covers in gray sweats and a T-shirt, his hair rumpled with sleep. Aislinn lay in her pink sleeper sound asleep on his chest, his hand on her back and Nicholas was snuggled up under his arm, his face buried into Jed's ribs. Jed had propped a bunch of pillows along the edge of the bed so the babies wouldn't roll off. Abbey let her anger out in one breath and smiled tenderly at the sight the three of them made in her bed. She moved toward them, her heart swelling with aching sweet love. She leaned over the barricade of pillows, smoothing Jed's hair back off his forehead. 

"Jed," she whispered softly. "Jed, wake up, Baby." 

Jed felt something tickling his face and reached a hand to brush it away. However, the scent of lily of the valley registered deep in his brain. It was the scent that meant Abbey. He opened his eyes to see her smiling down at him, her hair tracing lightly over his cheeks causing the tickling sensation he had felt. 

"I'm home." 

"So I see," he reached a hand behind her neck and pulled her face down for a long kiss. He continued to kiss her until Aislinn began to squirm and kick at her mother. 

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Abbey kissed Aislinn's forehead. "Did Daddy make me squish you?" She picked the baby up off Jed's chest, smiling at the wet spot on his T-shirt where she had drooled. Aislinn snuggled sleepily into her mother's neck and Abbey inhaled deeply the milky, baby powder scent of her daughter. God, how she had missed this. "So," she turned back to Jed, "you want to tell me about the tornado that went through here last night?" 

"It's not so bad," Jed said sheepishly. 

"Tell me you didn't let them sleep with you in here every night." 

"Of course not," he said, affronted. "Just a couple. I actually got them both on the bottle, but last night Ash got sick and threw up all over me and herself. I figured I'd have her sleep in here with me and I didn't want her to wake up when I had to get up with Nicky so I brought him with us." He began picking up the dirty clothes and throwing them in the hamper. 

"She got sick?" Abbey said frowning. "Does she have a temperature? Go get me my bag and I'll check her out. You should have called me when..." 

"Abbey," Jed placed a hand on her shoulder. "She's fine. I took her temperature and it was a little elevated so I gave her some baby Tylenol. She threw up a couple more times in here, but her temperature went down and she's been fine since around two." 

"Why didn't Izzy help you out?" Abbey demanded. 

"She's got a terrible cold so I sent her to bed. Besides, Ashy was sick. I wanted her in here with me. The kids and I did just fine, General Bartlet." 

"Jed, you said you took her temperature, but I distinctly remember the ear thermometer's battery died," her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Just how did you take her temperature?" 

"There's more than one way to skin a cat," he grinned at her. "The old fashioned way worked just fine." 

Abbey looked up at her husband with wide eyed amusement "My, my, Josiah, you are full of surprises, aren't you?" 

"Gotta keep one step ahead of you, cupcake." 

+++ 

A few days later, while Air Force One cruised thousands of feet in the air, Lori watched the President and First Lady come out of the private area where they had been with their two elder daughters, Leo McGarry, and their babies. They moved into the back compartment and began to schmooze with the press for a while. They were on their way to New Hampshire for Thanksgiving. For the longest time the Service hadn't been sure which place to secure. First it had been New Hampshire, then Camp David, then they were going to stay in the White House and now they were on their way to their first destination, which had obviously always been the preferred one. 

She shivered with excitement when she thought of the plan she and Marcus had come up with to pay Mrs. Fancy Pants Bartlet back for all her treachery. Lori had been stunned to find out what the First Lady had done to Marcus all those years ago. According to him, she had been a big wig doctor and initiated a flirtation with him when he was an orderly, which had become an all out affair. Then, one night when they made plans to stay in Boston together, her husband showed up and caught them in the act. Dr. Bartlet had cried rape and Marcus hadn't had a chance. Abbey Bartlet was an important doctor, her husband a New Hampshire state senator, of course the jury had found him guilty. 

She watched Abbey laughing at something the red-haired Danny Concannon had said and a self satisfied smile worked its way to her lips. You won't be smiling for long Dr. Bartlet she thought, not after what we have planned for you. 

It was five a.m. and Jed was waking up, not to deal with a crisis, but to cook for the large family that would be descending upon the Bartlet farm later that morning. He slid out of bed smiling as he watched Abbey pull his pillow to her chest and curl around it in place of his warm body, which she had been curled around just moments before. He shrugged into his bathrobe and padded over to the windows overlooking the rolling hills and pastures of his farm. The early morning fog was just lifting off the pond and the bare tree limbs swayed in the wind. He breathed deeply with contentment, for if it was the mystical ocean that called to his wife, it was the practical land that called to Jed. While Abbey was as wild and tempestuous as the sea, he was as solid and steady as the unyielding New England soil he had tread upon his whole life, as strong and unbreaking as New Hampshire granite. They made a perfect fit, he and Abbey, for where the sea met the land was always a place of remarkable beauty, whether it was with quiet caressing laps, or churning volatile surf. 

He turned away from the window, his gaze sweeping the bedroom and taking in all the familiar things. Antique furniture, pictures, Abbey's crammed filled vanity, all the things he had never paid attention to in the past, but since being away, now spoke of home. Home. This had always been home, but home had not always been kind to Jed Bartlet. Home for young Jed had been cold and threatening. For that reason alone Abbey had been surprised when he had accepted this place from his grandfather after his grandmother's death. Old Josiah had determined it was time for him to get a smaller place and that the farm was meant for a young family. Jed and Abbey with their little girl and another baby on the way belonged there now. It was time for the next two Bartlet generations to move in. Most of Jed's growing up years had been spent in a big Victorian house on the campus of the prep school where his father was headmaster. That was the house Jed remembered with a sickening pit in his stomach. John Bartlet was at his worse on the campus of the school. At the farm, Jed could get away with his grandfather and walk the fields. Those walks had been important to him. Old Josiah had filled him with a love for the land, and a love for history. He had regaled him with stories about his important ancestors, not just his namesake, but the countless others who had come after him to shape the state of New Hampshire. It gave him a sense of himself, a sense of belonging that was desperately needed by a young boy who had never felt he belonged. Old Josiah might have been a crotchety old man, but he had loved his grandson, and took pride in him in a way his son never did. He could not have known that by doing so he only made it worse on Jed. John had never been able please his father and the fact that he took such an interest in Jed only filled John with more jealous anger toward his son. Still, Jed wouldn't have given up that time with his grandfather for anything. 

Ghosts, Jed thought shaking his head. Where were all these ghosts coming from? He thought he had banished them long ago. It was Ellie, he mused. That talk with Ellie had dredged up the past and brought it into the open. It had turned that old scar back into an open wound. 

He turned back to face the bed watching Abbey sigh and smile in her sleep. Abbey, she had made all the difference. Meeting Abbey had for the first time given him real hope and excitement for the future. For a boy who had never been shown any affection it had been amazing how easy it had been for him to touch her, to hold her, and once he had started, he had never wanted to stop. Still didn't. 

He loved that he and Abbey had turned this old house into a home. This bedroom that had known only silence and coolness under his parents' short reign, had come to life with laughter, passion, arguments, and countless children's voices under he and Abbey. The bed that Abbey now slept in was the same one they had conceived babies in, that Ellie had been born in, and that they had held each other all night in. 

He kissed Abbey lightly on the forehead, then proceeded down the hall, padding over the hard wood floors and taking in the scent of lemon and beeswax. He smiled as he passed each closed bedroom door knowing a member of his family slept peacefully on the other side. He paused at the end of the hall looking at the wall where they had measured the heights of their girls from ages one to eighteen. He reached a finger out and touched the lines, remembering hair ribbons and pig tails, braces and pierced ears. It would all be starting again soon, he thought. Only a couple months until the twins turned one and, even though they lived in the White House, he would bring them home to mark their heights. Home, where their father was simply their father, one of a long line of Bartlets, not the President of the United States. 

++++ 

Jed was hard at work stuffing the turkey when Abbey entered the kitchen yawning. She was in her bathrobe and still half asleep. 

"Coffee," she groaned, stepping toward the coffeemaker. "Oh Jed, you're a saint" she sighed upon realizing a full pot of hot coffee was just sitting there waiting for her. 

"I've tried to tell you that." 

"What are you doing?" She asked, puzzled by the way he was turning his back to her. 

"I told you I am not giving up the secrets to my stuffing. I don't want you peeking over my shoulder." 

"Jed, it's six a.m., I could care less what is in that stuffing, as long as it's edible." 

"THAT'S your criteria? We have a houseful of people coming for Thanksgiving dinner and your only criteria is that the food be edible. That's it, you're not doing the pies." 

"Who died and made you boss?" 

"The American people made me boss, cream puff." 

"On the contrary, dumpling. They made you the boss of the country, not of Thanksgiving dinner. I'm making the pies." 

+++++ 

Leo awoke to the soft cries of a baby in the room next door. He still couldn't believe he had allowed Jed and Abbey to convince him to come here with them for Thanksgiving. He hated being the object of anyone's pity and he knew that was exactly how they felt. They felt sorry for him because he was going to be all alone for Thanksgiving and, truth be told, he WAS feeling a little sorry for himself. Holidays were for families and he had allowed his to slip away. Still, he had tried telling Jed he was all set when Jed had asked about his plans. He knew Jed would assume he would be with Mallory, but Jenny had opened her big mouth and informed Abbey that Mallory was spending Thanksgiving with her and Jeffrey. The look on Abbey's face when she had come to his office to plead with him to spend the holiday with them had almost been more than he could bear. He did not want Abbey Bartlet feeling sorry for him. He knew exactly what he wanted her to feel and that was why he knew this was not such a good idea for him. During his visit to Maine over the summer it had been so hard to keep his emotions in check. It had become somewhat easier in the White House, where his access to Abbey was limited. Now, here he was again in the private world of two of his best friends. Two friends who had no idea of the conflicted turmoil that filled him. Somehow he knew this holiday was not going to be easy. After accepting the invitation he had made a promise with himself that he was not going to spend Christmas with the Bartlets. He couldn't continue on as a third wheel for the rest of his life. Despite their hospitality, he was NOT a member of this family and he had to get used to spending the holidays alone at some point. 

Leo lay, wondering why nobody was going to the crying babies. He knew they had given Isabelle the holiday off but it was not like Abbey to let a baby cry. He moved to the nursery to see both twins sitting in their cribs, their faces blotchy from the tears. As he approached the cribs, he noticed the fallen baby monitor and that the switch had been turned to off. 

"Ah, that explains it," he murmured. "Quiet guys, and I'll bring you down to your parents." 

++++ 

The radio was playing in the kitchen and Abbey was singing along softly while molding a piecrust. "Sugar pie, honeybunch, you know that I love you." Her hips moved slightly with the beat of the music and every now and then she gave Jed a bump from her hip, causing him to smile down at her and bump her back. 

"Here," Abbey said, dipping her finger into a spoonful of chocolate cream pie filling, "taste this. Do you think it's sweet enough?" She brought her finger up to Jed's lips, expecting him to lick it off. Instead, he pulled her finger into his warm mouth. 

"I'm not sure," he said, swirling his tongue as if he were doing a wine test. "I think I need another taste." Abbey smiled, knowing exactly what her husband was up to. She dipped her finger into the pie filling again, but this time, ran the chocolate over his lips so he couldn't suck her finger back in. Jed grinned at her and licked the chocolate off his lips. "Here, let me," he took the spoon from her and dipped his finger in the filling. Abbey watched him move his finger toward his mouth but at the last minute he reached out to dab her on the nose with the chocolate. 

"Jed!" she cried with surprise and turned to reach for a paper towel. 

"I'll take care of it," he assured her. With that, he leaned down, snaking his tongue out to lick the pudding off her nose. "Mmmm... definitely sweet enough," he wiggled his eyebrows at her. Abbey giggled and smeared more pudding onto his lips, then cupped his face to lick and kiss the chocolate off. 

"Excuse me," Leo said uncomfortably from the doorway. "But I might want some of that pie this afternoon and, at the rate you two are going, there won't be any filling left." 

"Leo," Abbey laughed, totally at ease with being caught in the intimate moment. 

"Why do you have my kids with you?" She moved forward to take Aislinn from Leo's arms. 

"They were awake and crying," He watched Abbey frown and look at the monitor on the table. "The baby monitor fell over and the switch turned off." 

"I'm so sorry if they woke you," Abbey apologized. "Did you wake up Uncle Leo?" She bounced Aislinn on her hip. 

"It's OK, I was awake anyway. Where do you want him?" Unlike his sister, Nicholas was still fussing. 

"Put him right there in the high chair. I have to finish doing this pie before I give him breakfast." 

"I'll get their cereal and fruit going," Jed said, pulling down the box of baby cereal and a jar of pears. 

"Can I help with anything?" Leo asked. 

"If you want, you can give him a bottle to tide him over until his breakfast is ready," Abbey began to scoop the powdered formula into a bottle, shook it, and handed it to Leo. Leo placed the nipple on Nicky's mouth and the baby boy grabbed onto the bottle with both hands, sucking eagerly. "He's got quite a little appetite," Leo said with surprise. 

"Tell me about it," Abbey smiled ruefully. "Thanks for helping out, Leo," she placed Aislinn in the high chair and gave him a lovely smile of such happiness and gratitude that it literally made his heart flip. Jesus, he couldn't believe he was reacting this way. What was he? A teenager who just got a smile from the prettiest girl in school? 

"No problem," he smiled back. "This is kind of nice. I guess I really missed out when Mal was little." He watched Abbey turn and head back toward the counter. 

"You still have chocolate on your nose," Jed informed her and dabbed at her nose with a wash cloth. 

"Yeah, well whose fault is that?" She smacked him lightly on the rear. Jed bumped his hip against her and she turned that dazzling smile up at him. A smile of such pure adoration and intimacy that it made Leo turn away. He couldn't understand this feeling of pain and jealousy that was filling him. He'd always had this attraction to Abbey, always envied Jed his relationship with her. Why was it becoming so much harder to deal with? Was it because he was all alone now? Or was it because he was seeing and getting to know Abbey in ways that hadn't been possible when they lived almost a thousand miles apart? All he knew was that watching them hurt, and coming here had not been a good idea at all. 

++++ 

Jed stood at the head of the table dressed casually in khakis and a navy blue sweater. He was carving the golden brown turkey and surveying the group of people that surrounded his table as he passed plates down to them. He was gratified by the fact that his entire family was present, including all his children, his mother, Jon, Sally, and Abbey's parents. 

At the other end of the table, Abbey sat in a long, tan, suede skirt and a soft cream-colored cashmere sweater with her hair loose to her shoulders. There was a softness and trendiness to her that spoke more of the old Abbey Bartlet rather than the First Lady. He couldn't help but watch her at the far end of the table sipping her wine as she watched their daughters dig into the oyster stuffing. 

"Everything OK, girls?" He heard her ask. 

"It's great, Mom," Zoey said. 

"Dad really outdid himself with the stuffing this year," Ellie enthused, "It's delicious." 

Abbey glanced up and found that her husband's gaze had fallen upon her, his eyes alight with mirth. He gave her a quick wink to which she responded with a lift of her wineglass in silent acknowledgment of their private joke. 

"So, Anabeth," Jed turned to his granddaughter, "Did you think you were going to slip this past me?" He reached over to tuck Annie's hair behind her ear revealing her now double pierced ears. 

"I don't have anything to hide," Annie sniffed, sounding very much like Abbey. "I had permission." 

"I trust your mother won't be allowing you to defile your body with anymore holes," Jed lifted his brow pointedly at Elizabeth. 

"Oh for heaven's sake, Dad, her ears are double pierced. It's not like she pierced her lip or something," Liz shook her head at her father. 

"Don't go giving her any ideas," Jed rolled his eyes. 

"It was a compromise," Annie informed them. "Mom wouldn't let me get a tattoo like Grams so...What?" she asked puzzled, as the whole table grew quiet and everyone's eyes fell on Abbey. 

Leo's fork, loaded with mashed potatoes, paused midway to his mouth as he took in Annie's innocent comment. Abbey had a tattoo? Jesus, just the idea of it went straight to his groin. 

Emily Bartlet was eyeing Abbey with something akin to horror. "Abigail, really. Do you think that is quite appropriate for the First Lady?" 

"I wasn't the First Lady when I got it," Abbey said calmly taking a sip from her wineglass. She was going to kill her granddaughter when this meal was over. 

"What kind of tattoo is it?" Leo almost choked out the question. 

"Just a small Celtic knot," Abbey said, anxious to move on to another topic of conversation. 

"With Gramp's initials around it," Annie informed them. "Isn't that totally romantic?" 

"Totally," Beth O'Neill agreed with a small smile at her great-granddaughter. 

"Where is it, Abbey?" Sally asked with amusement. "I've never seen it." 

"On the back of my hip," Abbey answered almost defiantly. 

"It's real low, you can only see it when she's naked," Annie grinned. 

"OK Annie, I think you've embarrassed your grandmother enough for one day," Jed said, touching the young girl's hand. 

Jon Bartlet was eyeing Abbey speculatively. Jed's wife had always had a bit of a wild streak in her. With her overwhelming intelligence and self-confidence and her sexy, passionate nature, she had sometimes frightened him. For a man as stiff and conservative as he was, a woman like Abbey was the stuff of carnal dreams rather than the ideal wife. However, Jed never seemed to be afraid of getting too close to the bright flame that was Abbey Bartlet. In fact, when he was with her, she only seemed to shine even brighter. Now, he had to wonder what it would be like to have a woman like his sister-in-law. A woman who would tattoo her man's initials on her hip. A woman with a wild streak. 

Leo was shifting uncomfortably in his chair, his own carnal thoughts lingering on the idea that Abbey had Jed's initials branded practically on her ass. He sighed realizing it was just another vision he was going to have to try to banish from his mind. No, he thought, coming here had not been a good idea at all. 

++++ 

With dinner and dessert finished, Abbey stood loading the dishwasher with Sally. She smiled as she watched through the kitchen window Jed, Jon, Leo, and Jay playing touch football against Liz, Ellie, Zoey, and Annie. Normally she would have joined in, but instead, she had stayed inside to help clean up and then put the twins down for a nap. With the dishes finished, she turned and headed for living room, where the sound of a football game droned from the TV. 

"OK, who's ready for a nap?" she asked while wiping her hands on a dishtowel as she entered the room. 

"Ssh," Beth put a finger to her lips. Abbey gave her mother, who was rocking Aislinn, a puzzled look until the older woman pointed to the recliner where Dr. Michael O'Neill lay snoring softly with his grandson sound asleep on his chest. The two women shared a fond smile for the man they both loved. 

"Should I move him?" Abbey whispered as she ran a finger gently along her son's spine. 

"Let him sleep there, he looks pretty comfortable." 

At that moment the door to the kitchen burst open and Ellie and Liz came through, each holding onto one of Jed's arms. 

"Stop fussing over me, girls," Jed swatted at them. "I'm OK." 

"What happened?" Abbey asked, fear lacing her voice. It never used to be this way but since the MS diagnosis whenever Jed was sick or injured that always seemed to be her first worry. 

"Daddy cut himself on the barbed wire out by the pasture." 

"How did you cut yourself in barbed wire?" Abbey asked, her hands moving to where his shirt was torn and bloody. She probed at his torn flesh with gentle fingers. 

"Abbey, quit picking at it, that hurts," Jed grumbled. 

"Well, it doesn't look like you'll need stitches. THIS TIME, anyway," she looked into his eyes pointedly. 

"Here's your bag, Mom," Ellie handed her mother her medical bag. 

"Now will somebody please tell me how in the hell you ended up tangled in barbed wire?" She asked while starting to cleanse the wound with peroxide. 

"Jay led me with a long pass," Jed started. 

"And Dad dove for it," Elizabeth giggled. 

"You DOVE for it?" Abbey was incredulous. 

"We were down by 6. I wanted to tie it up." 

"You wanted to tie it up?" 

"Are you going to keep repeating everything we say?" Jed asked. "OW!" He gasped as Abbey poured the peroxide directly on his wound. "You did that on purpose," he accused. 

"Jed, you do realize that you aren't 20 anymore, don't you?" She asked, ignoring his complaints. "You can't play football like you're Jerry Rice." 

"I caught it." 

"What?" 

"The football. I caught the football. The game is tied. Just patch me up woman, I have to get back out there and win this game." 

"Oh for heaven's sake," Abbey said with exasperation. "I don't know why I ever worried about having an empty nest. With you, I'll always have a little boy." 

"You do realize you're referring to the President of the United States." 

"Yeah, I do. And wouldn't the American public love to know that their brilliant leader of the free world dove headfirst into a barbed wire fence." 

"I made the touchdown to tie the game. I'm a hero, sugar. Every red-blooded American would understand that. My approval ratings would go sky high." 

"The sad thing is that you are probably right. Now let's see, when was your last tetanus shot..." Abbey was gratified to see that the smug look left her husband's face as he blanched at the thought of a shot. 

++++ 

Deep in the night Abbey awoke to find Jed gone from the bed. She assumed he was up with one of the babies and moved to the bathroom for a glass of water. She heard the low sound of his voice coming from the nursery and walked over to stand in the doorway. He was leaning over the crib stroking Nicholas' back and murmuring softly to him. 

"I'm not like your grandfather Bartlet, Nicky," he was saying. "You don't have to be smart for me to love you. I don't care if you're as dumb as a post, or as smart as a whip. I don't care if you're a star jock or trip over your own feet. I don't care if you hate politics or grow up to play baseball for the New York Yankees. You don't have to do anything to make me love you. You're my son, and I'll love you no matter what you become." 

"Jed," Abbey placed a hand on his shoulder, swallowing past the lump in her throat. Jed turned to see his wife's eyes sparkling with tears in the moonlight. 

"Did I wake you?" He asked. 

"I woke up and you were gone. You OK?" 

'Yeah. Just trying to banish some ghosts," he looked into Abbey's sad face and tried to lighten the mood. "I'm hungry, let's go get a snack." 

A few minutes later Abbey was seated at the kitchen table watching her husband barefooted and wearing only a pair of old faded pajama bottoms digging through the refrigerator for the makings of a turkey sandwich. 

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked, leaning against the counter and taking a bite from his sandwich. 

"Since when do you have to ask?" 

"I don't want to dredge up what happened the last time we were here but I guess I need to know, because we are going to be hit with a lot of shit in the upcoming months." 

"What exactly do you need to know?" 

"You told me you understand why I have to run again and that you are OK with that, but I need to know, do you wish we were coming home? Coming back here?" 

"Jed," Abbey shook her head and got to her feet. She moved forward splaying her hands on his chest. "Home is not a place. Home is wherever you are." Jed smiled and kissed her forehead. "Besides," she gave him a sassy toss of her head. "I hate to lose as much as you do. So, when I told you I was OK with you running again, I guess I should have added that I will be giving 110% to get you re-elected." 

"Because you don't like to lose?" He grinned tangling his hand in her hair and tipping her head back. 

"Because I love you." 

+++ 

Dawn had just arrived in New Hampshire and Abbey was up and preparing to go for an early morning ride on her horse. She stood at her dresser and began to search for a pair of jeans. Just as she was about to grab one she noticed Jed's eye was cracked open and he was surreptitiously watching her dress. He hadn't been pleased with her last night when they had returned to the bedroom and she had refused to have sex with him while they had a house full of people. He had been experiencing withdrawal since her trip to Vienna. She decided to tantalize him a little further and grabbed a pair of tan jodhpurs rather than her jeans, knowing exactly how much her husband loved them. She slipped the breeches on slowly, one shapely leg at a time and smoothed her hands down over her thighs and her backside as if smoothing out wrinkles. She could have sworn she heard a muffled moan from the bed. She stood wearing only the jodhpurs and her bra digging through the dresser until she found the tightest white T-shirt she owned. She slipped the shirt on and arched her back thrusting her breasts out against the fabric as she tucked the shirt in. She smiled to herself as Jed squirmed on the bed obviously trying to pretend he was tossing and turning in his sleep. She knew damn well just what she had done to him, and if her husband were as predictable as she knew he was, she would reap the benefits of this in the near future. After quickly plaiting her hair in a French braid and throwing her leather jacket with its lining of sheep wool on, she made her way down to the barn. 

"Aquinnah is all saddled up and ready to go." 

"Thanks Benny," Abbey said to the small grizzled old man who had been taking care of the Bartlet livestock longer than she had been married to Jed. She took the reins from him and put her hand out to give the beautiful blood bay mare an apple before swinging on to her back. 

"By the way, Benny, I'll take care of Quinney when I get back. Go ahead and take the morning off." 

"Are you sure, Mrs. Bartlet?" 

"I'm sure," Oh was she sure, Abbey thought to herself. She could read her husband like a book and there was no way Jed was going to allow her to walk away from her little performance this morning unscathed. Just the thought sent a shiver up her spine. He wasn't the only one who had been in a lonely bed an ocean apart from the person she wanted to be with. 

As soon as she reached the open fields, Abbey gave Aquinnah her head and the horse took off in a fast gallop. Abbey felt good, she felt free. More than anything she missed these early morning solitary rides. She missed the time on her own to clear her head before beginning her day. She missed the way galloping over the fields made her heart race and energized her for the day. As she reached the edge of the field, where the woods started, Abbey reined her headstrong mare in to a walk, and headed onto one of the riding trails they had cleared through the woods. It was a chilly morning, but despite the fact that Abbey could see her breath, she was warm and still slightly winded from the fierce gallop. Twigs snapped under her horse's hooves and the barren branches of trees creaked in the wind. Squirrels scurried rustling the dead leaves. All of those noises were familiar to Abbey and yet, something was different. She felt funny, as if someone were watching her. She turned her head quickly from left to right but didn't see anything. She pulled Aquinnah in short and the horse stopped right away. Abbey's heart leapt as she heard heavy footsteps continue, and then stop. She turned to where she had heard the rustling and could have sworn she had seen something move. But all was now silent. Her heart began to race like crazy and she took a deep breath trying to control her nerves. This was ridiculous, she told herself. There was nobody in the woods. Their land had been posted to keep hunters out forever, and now, with the Secret Service, nobody could penetrate their security. It had to be a fox or a deer, she even had the fleeting thought that it could be an agent, however, agents wouldn't skulk in the woods and they wouldn't hide from her. She urged Aquinnah on, wishing the hairs on the back of her neck would stop standing up. 

As they approached the low stone wall at the edge of the property, Aquinnah suddenly startled and rose on her hind legs. Abbey had been watching behind her and hadn't expected the move. Before she knew what had happened, she was in the air. She gave a sharp cry as she hit her right shoulder on a rock when she landed. She lay still for a moment trying to regain the breath that had been knocked out of her. She moved her arm trying to ascertain if there were any broken bones. Her fingers were probing at her arm when she heard the leaves rustle directly behind her. She held her breath, her heart pounding and gave out a loud scream as she felt something warm touch the back of her neck. 

Abbey spun around to see her horse nudging at her as if apologizing for throwing her off. 

"Oh Quinney, you just scared the hell out of me," Abbey gasped. She gave a shaky little laugh, feeling completely ridiculous for getting so spooked this morning. "I just don't know what is wrong with me today." She began to move her arm up and down and in circles. After determining that nothing was broken, she gingerly swung back up into the saddle. She thought about continuing on with her ride but was suddenly no longer in the mood. Her arm hurt and she still had a terribly unsettling feeling that something was not right. 

Marcus Hughes sat behind the low stone well cursing himself for being such an idiot. He had almost blown this golden opportunity Lori had given him. Lori, that stupid cow, he thought with derision. She actually thought he was beginning to care for her. As if he could care for her. It was Abbey he loved. Abbey he had loved since that first smile she had given him at Boston Mercy. Usually the doctors acted as if the orderlies did not exist, but not Abbey, Abbey had smiled at him and said thank you and from then on he had been lost. Lori didn't have any idea of how he was using her to get close to Abbey. He had told her he just wanted to scare the First Lady a little bit, dig up some dirt on her to make her pay for her past transgressions. He had followed Abbey through the woods just intending on watching her, maybe even spooking her a little. He hadn't intended on scaring the damn horse so much that she got thrown. He didn't want to hurt Abbey. He loved her. 

++++ 

Jed entered the barn and made his way down the row of stalls to where he heard his wife's voice. He paused outside the stall smiling as he watched Abbey chatting away to her horse while she rubbed her down. Her coat had been discarded and she stood in the body molding jodhpurs and T-shirt moving with an innate grace and gentleness as she cared for her horse. 

Abbey pushed a stray strand of hair from her forehead with irritation. As she paused in her ministration,s her pulse raced at the distinct sound of hay crunching behind her. She whipped around lifting her brush up in one hand as if to smack the intruder she knew had been following her. 

"Hey," Jed stepped back putting his hands up, "I come in peace." 

"Jesus, Jed," she breathed, placing a hand over her heart. "You scared me to death" 

"I see that," he said, frowning at the fear on her face. "Are you all right? You seem awfully jumpy." 

"I'm fine," she assured him. 

Jed reached out a hand to run up her arm reassuringly and looked at her questioningly. 

"Abbey, you're shaking like a leaf," he said. 

"I told you that you scared me," she said, stepping back from those hands and those discerning eyes that could see more than she wanted him to see at times. 

"OK, I'm sorry I scared you, babe." 

"Is that for me?" She asked, eyeing the thermos in her husband's hand. Jed knew she was trying to change the subject but let it go. 

"Yeah, thought you might like some hot coffee." Abbey accepted the thermos he held out to her and opened it to take a sip. She gazed over the rim at him, for the first time noticing his attire. Jed was wearing a pair of old faded jeans, a gray turtleneck, and a black leather jacket, looking more like the cover of GQ than the President of the United States. It was an undeniably sexy look for him. 

"I like your jacket," she said, sipping from the thermos. 

"I hope you do. You bought it for me." 

"I mean that I like it ON you. To quote Annie, you're a real hottie." 

"Really?" Jed moved forward taking the thermos from her hand. "A hottie, you say?" 

"Definitely." 

"So there WAS a reason you lured me here to the barn." 

"I didn't lure you here," Abbey said innocently. 

"You most certainly did." 

"I didn't ask you to bring me coffee." 

"I read your signals this morning quite well, darling." 

"I don't know what you're talking about," she feigned ignorance. 

"Like hell you don't, you wicked girl," he laughed, grabbing her hips and pulling her to him. "There's a reason you wore these pants," he ran his hand over her rear. 

"They're simply riding breeches, Jed." 

"There is nothing simple about what those pants do to your body, angel." 

"Or what they do to yours," she gave a flirtatious smile as she pressed her pelvis into his groin. 

"Ah Ha! So you admit it. You dressed like a hot little number to lure me down here like some modern day Delilah." 

"Jed," she placed her fingers on his lips. 

"What?" 

"Shut up and kiss me," she tangled a hand at the back of his neck pulling his head down to her. 

"Bossy lady," Jed grinned just before his mouth covered hers. Abbey parted her lips allowing Jed's tongue to enter, tease, and tangle with hers. She felt the fingertips of one of his hands running along her jaw while the other moved along the bare skin between her shirt and the waistband of her breeches. She could already feel how ready he was for this and pushed gently at his chest. 

"Abbey," her name came out as a moan of disappointment. 

"Not here, Jed," she said while trying to catch her breath. "In the loft." She took his hand and led him to the stairs leading up to the loft. Jed reached out a hand snagging an old horse blanket before following Abbey's tantalizing rear up the stairs. 

Once in the loft Abbey watched Jed spread the blanket over the hay as he had done so many times before. They had used this place that had been the site of their first lovemaking for the same purpose many times over the years. It was their private haven, the place they would sneak away to when the house was full and they wanted to be alone. It was the place that never failed to bring back the memories of that first time. The anticipation of finally knowing what it was to fully become a woman and share her body with a man. The shyness she had felt baring her naked body to Jed and the pride she had taken in his response to her. The overpowering wonder at every new touch, every new sensation. The trembling nervousness she had experienced at seeing Jed naked and aroused for the first time and the way that, despite the pain, she had never felt anything more right than it had felt to hold Jed inside her body and become one with him. 

Amazingly enough none of those feelings had ever left her and when they made love in this loft she could still feel what it was like to be that unsure twenty year old virgin again. Then again, she smiled inwardly, there was something to be said about all the years of experience they now had. 

"Your bed awaits, milady," Jed gave a courtly bow toward the blanket. Abbey smiled and moved forward sliding her hands over her husband's chest and pushing his jacket off his shoulders. 

"I like the jacket, honey, but it's gotta go," she yanked it off his arms. 

>From behind the bales of hay, Marcus Hughes watched his pure beautiful Abigail as she pulled her husband's shirt over his head, got down on her knees, and began to nuzzle along the waistband of his jeans. He felt his blood race with both excitement and anger. Excitement at being this close to her and seeing her this way and anger that she had ignored him. He had sent her several letters expressly informing her that it was time to stop having any relations with her husband. It was time to purify herself for him. They would be together soon and he didn't want any remnants of Jed Bartlet marring their reunion and the glorious future they would have. He felt the old rage begin to rise in his veins and his control began slipping as he watched Abbey slide HIS jeans down and touch HIS flesh with her mouth the way she had no business doing, the way a WHORE did. He took deep breaths to regain his precarious control and focused on loading his camera with a new roll of film. When he finally looked up again, his mouth dropped open as he saw Abbey now standing bare breasted, her husband having discarded her T-shirt and bra. He wanted to feel nothing but anger, however his lust got the better of him as he watched the President take her rosy tipped nipple into his mouth. 

"Jed," Abbey sighed as her head fell back and her fingers began to thread through his thick hair. 

"I think your breasts missed me," he murmured against the soft skin on the underside of one breast. 

"You sure it isn't the other way around?" She teased. 

Jed looked up at her for a moment then bent back to the task at hand flicking his tongue over her hardened peaks until Abbey's legs grew weak with desire and she was moaning for him to take her into his mouth. 

"I'd say it goes both ways," he grinned with satisfaction as he began to slide her breeches down over her slender hips before laying her back on the blanket and getting on with what he had been missing for so long. He couldn't get enough of her breasts. He was like a man who had been dying of thirst as he nuzzled, suckled, and nipped at her nipples. After teasing each one to hardened points, Jed moved his attention to the valley in between her breasts rubbing his rough scratchy cheek against the soft tender skin there and allowing the cold air to tease her nipples which were still wet from his mouth. Abbey's fingers were gripped in his hair holding him close to her chest. Oh God, how she had missed this, she thought. What this man could do with that masterful mouth was nothing short of incredible. She wanted that mouth to stroke and suckle every inch of her. His lips moved back to hers and he kissed her deeply, his tongue easing in and out of her mouth in a rhythm he would soon repeat with his lower body. While he kissed her, he rolled her right nipple between his thumb and forefinger pinching lightly every so often to elicit a cry of pleasure/pain from Abbey against his lips. 

Abbey began arching her kiss-swollen breasts against his rough chest hair. There was an aching now, a pulsing and throbbing between her legs. She needed Jed to touch her there, but he seemed content just running his fingers up and down her outer thighs. Jed felt her part her legs for him, knew exactly what and where she wanted him. Her hips were now squirming in need against him. He transferred his ministrations to her inner thighs, tracing patterns on the silky skin there, running up almost to the point of what she wanted, but then descending back down to her knee. 

"Jed," she gasped, pulling her lips away from him. "Touch me...please," she pleaded. 

"Where?" He asked, nipping the skin on her neck. "Show me where you want me to touch you, Abigail." Abbey reached out desperately for his arm and moved his hand to the juncture between her legs. Jed left his hand cupped there for a moment, then slipped his finger into the slickness to begin to stroke her. 

"Oh God yes," Abbey groaned as the tip of his finger found the sensitive nub that drove her crazy with need. "Right there Jed...don't stop." She was now writhing against his hand, yet despite the incredible pleasure she wanted more, needed more. She ran her hand down Jed's belly to take his straining hardness into her hand. She heard the low groan deep in his throat as she ran her hand up and down his length, flicking her thumb over the moisture at the tip. 

"Now Jed...please now," she opened her legs wider to accommodate his shifting form and she nearly sobbed with relief as began to penetrate her, filling that aching void. He slid all the way to his hilt then paused for a moment letting Abbey feel his throbbing fullness. An aching tenderness filled him as he looked down into her face. Her eyes were closed and she was biting down on that sexy bottom lip of hers. 

"I love you, Abbey," the soft words he meant to say came out as a moan as his lower body began to take control of the rest of him. He bent to kiss her closed eyelids and heard her whimper with disappointment as he withdrew almost all the way out of her, only to gasp as he thrust deeply again. Soon they were caught up in a rhythm both knew by heart. Abbey's fingers dug into Jed's buttocks pulling him deeper and the barn was filled with earthy, primitive moans of pleasure. Abbey came first, as usually Jed tried to make sure she did. Jed slowed his pace to feel her tighten around him. He nuzzled along her neck while she tried to regain her breath and, before she was even finished with the little pulsing aftershocks, Jed began to move fiercely within her again. The quick jabbing thrusts coupled with his ragged groans told Abbey he was just about there. His eyes were closed, his jaw strained. She loved to watch him like this, to see the intense pleasure he took in making love to her. She ran her fingertips over the straining muscles of his back urging him on with breathless whispers and concentrated on giving him as much pleasure as possible. 

"Abbey," he groaned as she began to tighten her muscles around him with each thrust. The squeezing sensation was almost more than he could bear. 

So intent was she on giving Jed pleasure that her second orgasm, just as he shouted her name to the rafters and exploded within her, took her completely by surprise. 

Marcus Hughes unloaded the film from his camera with disgust. Disgust with himself at feeling such intense excitement at watching Abbey couple with a man he hated to the point of wishing him dead. And disgust with Abbey for being such a whore. He had been forced to sit there hidden and listen to her beg, literally BEG her husband to touch her. He had tried to make her beg that night in Boston. Had needed her to beg. But no matter how he hurt her, it had been the one thing he had not been able to make that bitch do. He had touched her, penetrated her, hurt her, made her cry, ejaculated inside her, but he had not been able to make her beg him for it. That was something he was going to have to rectify. He had warned her, had told her to stop having sex with HIM. But she hadn't listened, she had IGNORED him and now she had ruined it all. He had planned on taking her away, romancing her, but she wasn't going to get that now. Oh no, Abigail Bartlett needed to be punished. She needed to pay for disobeying him. Simply the thought of how he was going to accomplish that engorged him with excitement. As just the thought of getting rid of Jed Bartlet and taking Abbey away soothed his rage and calmed the blood pounding in his temples. As far those kids went, he hadn't decided what he was going to do yet. Maybe he would take them along, he could use them as leverage with her. Then again, they were Jed Bartlet's babies, his blood ran through their veins, proof that Abbey was not pure. No, maybe he would take care of them as well. 

Jed had pulled the scratchy horse blanket up and around them and held Abbey tightly in his arms. Abbey nuzzled at the pulse point on Jed's throat, inhaling deeply the musky scent of their lovemaking, along with the woodsy smell of the leaves that Benny must be burning in the backfield. 

"We should get back," she yawned. "The whole house is probably up." 

"Yeah," Jed sighed, kissing the top of her head. 

Abbey sat up, leaving the warm cocoon they had made and shivered as her bare skin was exposed to the chilly November air. Goosebumps covered her arms and her nipples tightened in response. 

"You're going to catch pneumonia," Jed said, and ever the gentleman, he wrapped her back in the blanket before turning to grab their discarded clothing. He moved back to her, slipping her T-shirt over her head. 

"For heaven's sake Jed, I'm not Aislinn, I can dress myself," she laughed. 

"You're more fun to dress than Ash," he grinned kissing a couple freckles on her chest before pulling her arms through the sleeves of the shirt. As he grabbed her right arm, Abbey cried out in pain. 

"What's wrong?" Jed's brow furrowed with concern. "Was I too rough with you before?" 

"No, it's OK," she winced as he finished putting the shirt on. She had been experiencing too much pleasure before to be worried about the pain in her arm, but now it was starting to stiffen up. 

"It's not fine, Abbey," he said sternly as he watched her face and the way she held her arm so gingerly. "I want to know what happened." 

"It was nothing, really. I was riding Quinney out by the edge of the property. I thought I heard something so I wasn't paying much attention. Something startled Quinney and caused her to rear." 

"Aquinnah threw you?" He asked with disbelief. 

"She didn't THROW me. I fell. If I'd been paying attention I never would have lost my seat. I..." 

"Abbey." 

"What?" 

"I can't believe you're more upset over your lack of horsemanship rather than the fact that you got hurt." 

"I banged my arm. That's all." 

Jed gently took her arm and lifted the short sleeve up over her shoulder noticing right away the yellowing bruise he had missed while making love to her. He had been too concentrated on other parts of her delectable anatomy to notice it. 

"You've got a pretty good bruise," he said. "You need to have that checked out." 

"I already did." 

"Oh yeah, what hospital was that?" 

"Very funny. I'm a doctor, Jed. I checked it. There is nothing broken." 

"Yeah, well, I want a second opinion. When we get back to the house, I'm going to call and have Admiral Hackett come over to check it." 

"Jed, there is no reason to make that poor man come over from the hotel to..." 

"Abbey, I'm calling him." Abbey looked into Jed's eyes knowing she had lost this battle. There were times when she could talk her husband out of things, wheedle her way around him, but when Jed Bartlet put his foot down he could be as stubborn as...well as stubborn as her. 

++++ 

Abbey was right, the house had come to life while they had been having their little roll in the hay. Everyone was up and preparing breakfast, trying to get an early start as most of them were leaving that afternoon. 

"Did you have a nice ride, dear?" Beth asked, not looking up from the eggs she was scrambling. 

"Very nice ride, Mom," Abbey gave Jed a sidelong glance and they both tried not to smile. 

Leo had noticed right away the little bits of hay in Abbey's mussed hair, the brightness in her eyes, the redness on her cheek and neck that looked an awful lot like whisker burn. But it was those kiss swollen lips that were a dead giveaway to him. She looked like a woman who had been completely and thoroughly tumbled. 

"Are you sure you're all right, Abbey?" Emily asked. "You're looking awfully flushed." 

"It was a long, hard ride, Mother," Jed said tongue in cheek, causing Abbey to give him a sharp elbow to his ribs. 

Leo nearly choked on his bacon. Jed gave his best friend a self-satisfied smile and winked. 

+++++ 

Ellie and Zoey Bartlet were looking for their parents. They were on their way out to go dancing at a local club and wanted to let them know they were leaving. They found the two of them, along with Leo, reading in the library. 

"Mom, Dad, we're heading out," Zoey said, just poking her head in. 

"Whoa, wait just a moment, young lady," Jed called out. Zoey rolled her eyes at Ellie and entered the room. Jed's eyes narrowed at the minuscule skirt and high heeled boots his youngest daughter was wearing. 

"Yes, Father?" She asked sweetly, knowing what was coming. 

"Don't you think that skirt is a little short?" 

"No." 

"That wasn't a question, Zoey, it was a statement." 

"Whatever it was, I don't think it is too short." 

"Well just so you know, it is." 

"I don't hear you complaining when Mom wears short skirts and high heels." 

"That's different." 

"How is it different?" 

"It just is," he said uncomfortably and looked to Abbey for support. 

"Don't look at me," Abbey said, crossing her arms, "I'd like to hear this too." Jed looked at all three women, knowing he was outnumbered per usual. He looked to Leo for support but his old friend merely shrugged knowing Jed was beaten. 

"Your mother is not my daughter...I don't want...," he began to stammer, "Oh never mind, I know when I'm licked. Go have fun." 

"Thanks Daddy," Zoey grinned leaning down to kiss her father on the cheek. 

"Just remember, sweetheart, you aren't 21 yet." 

"Yes, Dad, like I'd forget with you reminding me all the time." 

"Smart ass," Jed grinned fondly and watched as both girls left the room. 

"By the way," Abbey said, once the girls were gone. "What were you going to say?" 

"When?" 

"You started to tell her why you didn't want her wearing that skirt when you began to trip all over your words." 

"Oh, then," he said a bit sheepishly. "I was just going to tell her that I didn't want boys feeling about her the way I feel about you in your short skirts and high heels." 

"Oh Jed, you're priceless," Abbey laughed, shaking her head. 

+++++ 

Later that night, while Jed and Abbey slept soundly, the ringing of a phone caused them to stir. While most people awakened startled and with fear at 2 am phone calls, neither of them did. Late night phone calls simply meant emergencies at the hospital, or a crisis at the White House. They did not have the ominous threat of bad news that most people received at this hour. But this call was different, it was not the line that the White House used. It was their cell phone, the number only their closest family and friends had. Because it was that that phone Abbey propped her head on one elbow to listen in when Jed picked up the phone. 

"Hello," Jed answered sleepily. "Yes...what is it?" He sat right up, suddenly wide-awake. Fear clutched at Abbey's heart. This couldn't be good. "What's wrong?" He asked, running his hand through his hair. "Oh my God, no." 

Chapter 5 

Jed stood in the bathroom splashing water on his face. He was still reeling from the phone call they had just received and was very worried about Abbey, about how she was taking all this. Her voice had been that of Dr. Abigail Bartlet, detached and clinical. Her speech was that of prognosis and paralysis, yet the white knuckled grip she held the phone with belied the struggle within her to remain in control. He knew it was only a matter of time until she broke down. 

When he re-entered the bedroom, she was gone. He threw on his bathrobe and began to search for her. He had a pretty good idea where she would be. Many nights he would find her sitting in the nursery watching the babies sleep. Tonight was not an exception. He found her sitting in the rocking chair her knees drawn to her chest, as she often did when she needed to comfort herself. 

"Abbey," he said softly. Abbey turned her head toward him and his heart broke at the tear stained face the moonlight revealed to him. 

"I'm OK, Jed," the words came out shakier than she had planned. "She's going to be fine." Abbey rose to her feet moving to the window that overlooked Pennsylvania Avenue. She placed a hand on the cool glass pane staring at the brightly-lit Washington Monument. The landmark was wavy and blurred through the tears that pooled in her eyes. 

"Yes, she is," he said placing his hand on her shoulder. Abbey stiffened at first, holding herself aloof from him, however it wasn't long before Jed began to feel her shake as she tried valiantly to keep her tears at bay. He felt the moment she gave in to them and in an instant she turned to bury her face into his chest, her arms clutched tightly around his waist. 

"I'm so scared, Jed," she sobbed. "I'm so damned scared. I don't want her to die." She was holding him so tightly, desperately, a woman drowning in fear and uncertainty, and Jed was the rock she chose to cling to. 

Jed lifted her into his arms and carried her to the rocker, snuggling her into his lap as if she was a child. He wanted to cry too. Cry for the pain that Abbey was in as much has his own torment about it. But, he had to hold strong. Abbey needed him right now. 

"Ssh," he stroked her hair softly, soothing her as if she were one of the babies. "I know you're scared, Baby, but she's going to be fine." 

"You don't know that," Abbey cried, her face buried into his neck now so that he could feel her warm wet tears against his skin. " She was fine this morning, laughing and helping to take care of the kids and now this...Jed, your father DIED of a stroke." 

"A massive stroke, Abbey. Your father said this was a minor stroke," Abbey knew he was right. She was a doctor, she shouldn't be reacting this way. But this was not just anyone. 

"I know what he said but I also know about complications and..." 

"Ssh. Abbey, don't torture yourself with what ifs. We'll go to the hospital tomorrow morning and you'll see for yourself." 

"I'm not ready to lose my mother, Jed." 

"I know, honey, I know," Jed rocked her and held her, stroking her hair and comforting her until her sobs subsided to shaky breaths and finally to sleep. And even then he continued on with her in his arms all night long. 

++++ 

The First Couple arrived at Massachusetts General early the next morning and was subjected to a barrage of reporters and photographers. Jed held tightly to Abbey's hand as they walked up the hospital's stairs, trying to ignore the chaos around them. The pictures that were taken that morning of the couple showed a grim President and pale and drawn First Lady. But Abbey was in control now. Her fears and grief had been left behind on the tears that had stained and dried on her husband's pajama top and she was ready to be strong for her parents the way they had always been there for her. 

A tiny bit of that composure was lost when Abbey saw her father in the waiting room. Dr. Michael O'Neill, whose presence was, like her husband's, bigger than life, suddenly looked old and worn out. Seeing him like that forced Abbey to face the fact that her parents were not going to live forever. 

"I'm so glad you're here, Abigail," Michael said as he held his small daughter in his arms. "You too, son," he turned to accept a hug from Jed. 

"How are you holding up, Dad?" Jed asked. 

"I'm doing fine." 

"You look tired, Daddy," Abbey said. "You should go home and rest while Jed and I are here." 

"I'm not going anywhere," Michael said firmly. Jed could see Abbey was about to argue but he squeezed her arm to stop her. He couldn't blame the man. If this were Abbey, he would park his ass beside her and not leave until she came home. 

"How is Mama?" Abbey asked, heeding Jed's warning. 

"She is doing OK. The stroke has affected her speech slightly and some movement on her left side. But, they believe that through physical and occupational therapy, she should make a full recovery." 

"Did they put her on anticoagulants and..." 

"Abbey," Michael smiled fondly down into her lovely face and ran his finger down her cheek. "I'm a doctor too. Don't worry, I am making sure they are doing right by her." 

"Sorry," she said a bit sheepishly. Sometimes she forgot that she wasn't the only one who could treat a patient. "Have you called Jane and Evan yet? Are they coming?" 

"Yes, I called them both. They're both in Europe but I told them not to rush back. Your mother is not in any imminent danger and, by the time they get here, she will probably be released." 

"I want to see her," Abbey swallowed. "Can we go in?" 

"Yes, go ahead." 

"You want to go alone, Abs?" Jed asked, wondering if his wife wanted some private moments with her mother. 

"No," Abbey shook her head negatively, she didn't want to do this alone. "Please come in with me." Jed smiled reassuringly at her, took her hand, and they entered the room together. 

Amazingly enough, given her age, this was the first time Abbey had ever seen her mother in the hospital and it gave her a start. Her usually vibrant mother looked so still and pale sleeping in the bed. The wrinkles on her face were more pronounced, the gray in the hair she still dyed auburn, in the same shade she had passed on to her daughter and granddaughters, was more predominant. And, when her tired eyes opened and saw them, she looked old and sick. Jed felt Abbey squeeze his hand and turned to see the tears in her eyes. He knew she was fighting desperately for control. 

"Hey beautiful," Jed said, moving forward to kiss his mother-in-law's cheek. Beth gave a slightly lopsided smile at her charming son-in-law and a spark of laughter lit her hazel eyes. It was that light that made her Beth O'Neill again, not just a sick old lady, and Abbey was able to move forward from behind her husband to kiss her mother's forehead. Beth reached out her right hand and weakly traced finger over the worried frown lines on Abbey's forehead. 

"Lose these," she said in a slurred voice that sounded almost as if she were drunk. 

"I'll try," Abbey smiled, but evidently the smile was not convincing to her mother. 

"Don't worry...be fine." 

"Yes, you will," Jed said with more confidence than he felt at the moment "but you know Abbey, she's not happy unless she is worrying over somebody." 

"Make sure...doesn't worry...too much," Beth said looking as sternly as she could at Jed. 

"I'll try, Mom." 

"Hey, you two, I'm sitting right here," Abbey said indignantly and the two of them laughed conspiratorially. 

+++++ 

The afternoon was spent with doctors and therapists. Jed felt slightly out of the loop as Michael, Abbey, and Beth's doctors threw medical terms and procedures around, but he was there for moral support for both of them, and that was what was important. When they finally returned to the O'Neill house in Salem, they were all exhausted. Abbey stood at her mother's stove heating up some leftover chowder for their supper. She was physically and emotionally wiped out. Intellectually, she knew her parents were getting old and that they wouldn't live forever, but they had always been so full of life that she had never dwelled on that, never really thought about it. The thought of losing her mother had caused her to panic in a way she hadn't since Jed had been shot. Yes, she was close to her father, they had the bond of a shared profession, but it was her mother she was closest to. Beth O'Neill had always been there for her. Her mother had completely shaped her life, gently guiding her from young girlhood to womanhood. It was Beth who had instilled her with the confidence to believe she could be whatever she wanted to be. Beth, who had believed in her when she said she wanted to be a doctor, not a nurse, like everyone in her family, including her father, felt she should concentrate on being. It was Beth whose arms she sobbed in when she found out that her first boyfriend, Bobby Fitzpatrick, was cheating on her because she wouldn't 'put out'. Beth was the first person she admitted to that she had fallen in love with a young man named Jed Bartlet. Beth, who was the first to know that she was pregnant with Elizabeth and had offered only support and encouragement, rather than condemnation. Beth, who had taken so much joy in helping plan every aspect of their wedding with she and Jed. Beth, who had flown to London after Elizabeth's birth, to help her learn how to be a mother and care for a newborn baby. Beth, who she turned to in the beginning with Elizabeth's every sniffle and rash. It was Beth who had convinced her that when you miscarry in your first trimester it is nature's way of taking care of a baby that was not meant to be. Beth, who was there that long, exhausting, stormy winter night when she had given birth to Ellie in her bedroom at the farmhouse. Beth had been able shed the tears of pain with her and comfort her, along with Jed, and share in the joy at watching her son-in-law and Millie deliver her granddaughter into the world. It was Beth who had come to stay with Elizabeth and Ellie when she and Jed had to spend so much time at the hospital with tiny premature Zoey. It was to Beth that she had confided her fears about Jed's reaction to her rape and her own sexuality. Beth, who had spent weeks caring for Jed and the girls after Peter's death, when she had been so filled with grief she hadn't been able to do so. It was Beth who had convinced her that she had it in her to be the best First Lady this country had ever had and Beth who had been there those long days last year when Jed lay near death after being shot. Her mother had always been there for her, supporting her and giving her strength. It was now time that she gave some of that back. She knew what she had to do and now she just had to tell Jed. 

++++ 

Later that evening, Jed lay in bed with Abbey snuggled in his arms. Her head lay tucked under his chin and he could inhale the flowery scent of her hair. He remembered the first time he'd ever slept with Abbey in this, her girlhood room. It had all seemed so exciting and forbidding. Now it was just familiar. 

"I have to go back to Washington tomorrow," he said reluctantly, staring up at the ceiling. 

"I know," she sighed with acceptance. "I can't go back, Jed. Not yet, I need to stay here and help Dad take care of her for a while." 

"I had a feeling you were going to say that." 

"I know we've got that State dinner coming and all the holiday stuff, not to mention the hearings, but I..." 

"Ssh...it's OK, Abbey. This is your mother. You do what you have to do. Everything will fall into place." 

"Leo and Bruno will be pissed. No First Lady by your side throughout the holiday festivities. What will the voters think?" 

"You just leave Leo and Bruno to me. If the voters can't understand a woman wanting to take care of her sick mother than I don't want their vote. Will you keep the babies here?" There was a wistful tone to his voice and Abbey knew how badly he was going to miss all of them. 

"Yeah. I mean I think they will be better off here with me. I have more time to be with them." 

"You don't have to explain. I know you're right. I don't have the time they need. They need their mother. You're right to keep them with you." 

"I just.... I feel awful leaving you in Washington all alone with the hearings coming up. I don't know how I would have gotten through last night and today without you beside me," she twisted a few strands of Jed's chest hair around a finger. Jed smiled, placing his hand over hers, knowing it was a part of Abbey's nature that she always had to be doing something with her hands when she was nervous or anxious about something. 

"I'm a big boy, Abbey. I can handle it. We'll talk on the phone." 

"And you'll call me if you need me?" 

"You know it." 

++++ 

Jed was back at the White House and Abbey was right. It was a tough blow to the campaign not having she and the twins around for the holidays so they could play up that wholesome family image to combat the hearings, which in all probability were going to try to paint the First Couple as manipulative and power hungry. They understood why Abbey was staying behind, but understanding was not accepting. 

"We have a State Dinner next week," Leo said. "We're going to need a hostess. Do you think you could get Liz to fly down?" 

"I could, but she is busy with school. Do I have to have a hostess?" 

"You have to have a hostess," CJ said firmly. "What about your mother?" Jed looked up skeptically over the rim of his glasses from CJ to Leo. 

"I think we knew how that suggestion would go over," Leo grinned. 

"What about Zoey?" Sam asked. "She's been to these things before. She's stood in the receiving lines." 

"Yes," Jed said, "With Abbey beside her, guiding her. But, what if we have Zoey do it with help from Jenny? Leo, you know how much Jenny loves these functions." 

"Yeah," Leo squirmed. He knew how much Jenny would love it all right. She would finally be where she wanted to be all those years ago, playing Jed Bartlet's wife and being First Lady. He didn't know why this still bugged him, after all, he had his own conflicting feelings about Abbey. "Won't that be awkward? The First Lady and the kids are out of town and another woman is playing hostess." 

"I don't think it will be awkward at all. Zoey will be the official hostess and we'll invite Jeffrey too," Jed was pleased with his plan. 

"I think that's perfect," CJ grinned. 

"Yeah right, perfect," Leo muttered. 

"Sir, excuse me but there is someone I would like you to meet," Charlie said, entering the Oval Office as the others began to depart. 

"Yes?" he asked, looking up from his papers to see Charlie enter with a young blond woman. 

"Sir, this is Samantha Greer, Samantha, President Bartlet." 

"Nice to meet you, Samantha," Jed absently put out a hand. He had much weightier items on his mind than meeting one of Charlie's friends, but he was always polite. 

"It's Sammi, sir," the girl flashed her best flirty smile. Boy, what a plum assignment, she thought, Jed Bartlet was even more good looking in person than he was on TV or in pictures. 

"Sammi is going to be filling in for me for a couple weeks," Charlie explained "She used to work for Senator Stanton." 

"Where are you going, Charlie?" Jed asked puzzled. 

"I'm taking my sister to visit colleges campuses on her Christmas break." 

"Oh, yes, well," Jed turned to the young girl, "I'm sure you'll do just fine, young lady. But you may be in for more than you bargained for. My wife is out of town taking care of her mother so I will probably be having some long working nights." 

"I understand, sir. I'm prepared for that." Oh am I prepared, she thought, almost smiling with anticipation over the fact that the President might be in for more than HE bargained for. Long nights with the little wife out of town indeed. This was going to be better than she thought and certainly much more enjoyable than doing that old white haired Senator Stanton. Jed Bartlet was sexy and powerful, and wouldn't it be a notch on her belt to say she screwed the President of the United States? 

+++++ 

Beth O'Neill had come home from the hospital and was now working with her doctors and her husband and daughter to regain her mobility and her life back. 

Abbey sat on the edge of her mother's bed giving Aislinn a bottle while Beth tried to form her mouth around the simple words of a kids book. It was frustrating as hell for her to be reading children's books and not be able to get out what she wanted to say. 

"Wo..wo...wo," Beth struggled. 

"Wooorrrk, Mama," Abbey touched her mother's lips to help get her mouth around the word. Filled with frustration, Beth flung the book against the wall knocking a lamp over in the process. Aislinn spit out the nipple and gave a startled cry at the crash. Abbey lifted her daughter to her shoulder to calm her and Beth's face began to crumple as she realized how she had scared her baby granddaughter. Tears began to pour down her cheeks. 

"It's OK, Mama," Abbey said, wiping a tear away. "It's going to take time. You're doing fine." 

"You....should...go home...with Jed," Beth pointed to the door. 

"I'm right where I want to be Mama," Abbey said, picking up the book. "Now let's start again." 

++++ 

A few hours later Abbey finally had the twins down for their naps and her father was relaxing and watching TV. She made her way tiredly to the library. Other than her bedroom, it had always been her favorite room in this house, just as it was at her home in New Hampshire. Books had always been a comfort to her, a way to escape from the world and all its stress and anxiety. She heard the rumbles of a freak winter thunderstorm as she lit the fireplace. With the logs burning, she scanned the walls for a good book pulling out a well-worn copy of 'Wuthering Heights'. How many times had she read this as a teenager, she wondered with a smile. This was what she needed, escapism, pure and simple. She took a sip of her tea, perched her glasses on her nose and lay back on the leather couch to retreat into the brooding world of Heathcliff and Cathy on the moors of England. It wasn't long before her eyelids began to flutter closed and the book fell to her chest. 

She was jolted out of a sound sleep by a loud bang of thunder and was disoriented for a moment, not knowing where she was. She gazed around the room realizing that she was in the library of her parents' home. As her eyes touched the far end of the library, a white flash of lightening lit the room. She gazed with horror, not able to breathe, for standing outlined in the bright light was the dark figure of a man pressed up against the glass French doors, staring in on her. The breath Abbey had been holding came out in a loud piercing scream of terror. 

"Abbey, what is it?" His daughter's scream of sheer terror had caused Michael to race into the library with his heart in his throat. Abbey's face was as white as a sheet and she looked scared to death. He moved to her quickly and took her shaking form into his arms. 

"Daddy," Abbey cried, "there's somebody out there on the patio looking in. I saw him in a flash of lightening." Michael stood and moved forward toward the French doors. "Dad, wait. Go get one of the agents." 

"I'm sure it was nothing, sweetheart, just a play of the light." Michael turned the patio light on and stepped outside looking from side to side. 

"It was a man, Dad. I know it was." 

"Well, there's nobody here now. I'll go ask the agents to look around. Who knows, maybe it was one of them?" 

"They don't skulk around and peek in on me like that," Abbey said firmly. As Michael left the room, Abbey wrapped her arms around her waist, trying to stop her shaking. The ringing of the phone caused her to jump and her heart to race again. 

"Hello," her voice was almost breathless. 

"Hey muffin, how's it going up there?" Tears stung Abbey's eyes at the sound of her husband's familiar voice. 

"Oh Jed. I wish you were here," the words came out before she could temper them with caution. She certainly did not want Jed worrying about her. He had enough on his plate. 

"What's wrong? You sound funny." 

"Oh, it's nothing," she lied. "I just fell asleep and had a nightmare. I'm a little shaky." 

"I wish I was there to hold you," he said wistfully. 

"Me too." 

"Everything is all clear," Michael said, entering the room. "Your agent Lori did a sweep around the house and there isn't anybody here. It must have been just your imagination." 

"What is he talking about?" Jed said, having overheard some of Michael's reassuring words. 

"Oh nothing. We're in the middle of a thunderstorm and, when I woke up, I thought I saw someone out on the patio." 

"Abbey," Jed said with concern. 

"It's OK, Hon, Dad just had the agents check it out and it was nothing. Just my mind playing tricks on me." 

Later, after Jed had hung up, he frowned at the phone. Something had not seemed right. It was not like Abbey to get so upset over a nightmare and certainly not like her to see things. 

Michael had left to get Abbey some coffee and she stared uneasily at the French doors. She wasn't crazy, she knew she wasn't. It was not a figment of her imagination. She had seen a man on the patio and he had been watching her sleep. 

++++ 

A few days later Abbey was back on the phone with Washington Dc. She had been in the middle of an occupational therapy exercise with her mother when Zoey called with a case of the jitters over helping host the State Dinner. 

"I just went through my wardrobe and I don't have anything to wear, Mom." 

"Zoey, you have a few evening gowns." 

"Two that fit, Mom, and I already wore those in public. I can't wear an old gown, you know how the press is. Can I raid your closet?" 

"You can but you'd probably be better off going shopping and picking out something a little...well..." 

"Less sophisticated," Zoey supplied. 

"Yes. More suitable to your age." 

"I will if I can't find anything, but I really don't have time to shop." 

"You sound nervous, Zo. Are you sure you want to do this? You know you don't have to." 

"I can do it," Zoey said contritely. She didn't want her mother rushing back thinking she couldn't handle this. "Besides, Aunt Jenny will be there too." 

"You should go back," Beth said, dropping the block that was in her hand. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Mama," Abbey said, placing her hand over the mouth of the phone. "Keep working," Abbey urged her to continue placing different shaped blocks into their corresponding hole. Beth stuck her tongue out at her daughter. Abbey eyed her sternly and Beth continued her exercise. She might be able to get around Michael but Abbey was another story altogether. She realized, with some pride in her daughter's strength, that she had raised a real hard ass. 

"Well, I have to go, Mom," Zoey said 

"Ok. Just remember to check your Dad's bow tie and straighten it. It's always tilted to the right, and when he starts talking too long to one of the guests in the receiving line, which he will do frequently, just touch his elbow lightly." 

"He'll know what that means?" 

"Oh, he'll know," Abbey smiled into the phone. 

++++ 

"Mr. President, you look exhausted," Sammi said watching Jed Bartlet sitting at his desk rubbing his eyes. Startled, Jed sat up straight. He still hadn't gotten used to Charlie's temporary replacement. 

"It's been a long day, Sammi," he admitted. "I'm going to head back to the residence now. I won't be back down so you can go home." 

"Would you like me to bring you up a sandwich? You haven't eaten anything since before noon," Jed looked up sharply. It was strange to have this young woman worried about his eating habits. Charlie rarely worried himself over it, it had been Mrs. Landingham and Abbey who worried over his diet. 

"No, I'm just going to order something up from the kitchen. Go home. Take this early night while you can. They don't come along too often." 

"OK," Sammi turned to leave. Just her luck. Her first day here and she was being sent home early. Oh well, there was plenty of time. Standing and watching Jed rubbing his eyes, it was all she had been able to do to stop herself from rubbing and massaging his tense neck muscles, especially given the fact that he didn't have a wife at home to do it for him. But, she would wait a little longer to make her move. She would gain his interest, and then when his loneliness was at its peak, she would move in and comfort him until he forgot that there was an Abbey Bartlet. 

Jed walked back to the residence, his footsteps weary with a fatigue that was mostly emotional. The day had started with a meeting with Oliver, which in itself was enough to start the day on the wrong foot. Oliver had been concerned with his testimony and what he was going to say to Congress, but he had been more interested in peppering him with questions about what was going to happen to his wife, his daughters, and his colleagues when they had to speak at the hearing. Finding out how they would try to destroy the people he cared about, if not through their testimony, than through whatever dirt they could collect on them, had filled Jed with an impotent rage and a frantic need to protect. One way or another these congressmen wanted a "win" and they wouldn't care who had to be sacrificed along the way. 

Then, after that cheery news, he had spent the day trying to woo Democratic senators to stick by his administration. He could read the censure in their eyes. He had lied to them. He was a liability to the Democratic Party now. They didn't want him to run again. They wanted him to bow out gracefully and quietly and throw his support behind John Hoynes. It was the only way they felt they could keep the White House. They were angry that he was not doing that, felt he was putting his own ego in front what was best for the party. Maybe he was, because he honestly believed that he still made a better President than John Hoynes ever would. If he hadn't believed that with all his heart, he never would have decided to run again. As he sat there listening to their litany of grievances, his anger and stubbornness rose. It had never been in Jed Bartlet to kiss anyone's ass and he was not going to start now. Leo wanted him to make nicey nicey but Jed wasn't about to cave into their demands and crawl begging for forgiveness on his hands and knees. It would be a damn cold day in hell before he would ever do that. Instead, he had closed in on himself and remained polite yet cold and unreadable. Leo watched him go to that place inside where no one could reach him and by the end of the day it was obvious that he was mentally exhausted. It was early for Jed to be going home, especially with Abbey gone, but he just wanted to have a quick sandwich and go to bed. 

He opened the door to his bedroom, his eyes widening. There before him, but facing away, stood a woman in a ball gown with shoulder length red gold hair. She turned at the sound of the door and Jed smiled upon seeing it was his youngest daughter. The smile left his face when he saw the despair on her face. 

"What's wrong, munchkin?" He asked. 

"I've tried five gowns on," she gestured to the pile of designer evening wear laying on he and Abbey's bed. Jed couldn't help but notice they were five of Abbey's most risquÏ© gowns, "And I can't wear one." 

"Why not, you and your mother are almost the same size." 

"Not quite," Zoey said ruefully. "Mom is bigger on top. Look at this," she held the bagging material over her chest, "I can't hold up the neckline." 

"Ah, yes...well," Jed stuttered at his usual loss when it came to conversations like these with his daughters. "What about one of those...you know those things...you know that your Mom wears to...Oh never mind," Jed was red in the face by now and Zoey was trying not to laugh at his discomfort. 

"You mean a bustier?" She asked. Ah, is that's what it was called, Jed thought while thinking about the sexy undergarment Abbey wore to display her figure to its best advantage. 

"I guess so." 

"Well, you've actually got to have something to push up in order to use a bustier. I don't know what I am going to wear." 

"Why don't you wear the dress that you wore to the Inaugural Balls?" 

"Daddy," Zoey rolled her eyes with exasperation. "I was only 17 then. I think I have matured a bit since then." 

"Oh yes of course, how foolish of me. I mean you were SO young," he said with mock horror, "the dress must have been all lace and ruffles." 

"Very funny," Zoey smacked his arm. 

"You know, Zo, we're hardly destitute. Why don't you go out with some friends and buy yourself a new gown?" He dug into the drawer of his dresser where he kept his personal effects. All the stuff he didn't use anymore. Things like his checkbook, his passport, the keys to the Ford Explorer and Abbey's BMW and his credit cards. He grabbed one of the credit cards and handed it to her. "What's wrong?" he asked, seeing a frown mar her face. 

"I can't go shopping with my friends for a gown like this. I always shop with Mom for these events. I don't want to buy something inappropriate or that would cause you any embarrassment." 

"Zoey, that's about the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," Jed smiled kissing the top of her head. 

"Hey, I can do sweet." 

"Well, I may have a solution to your problem. Go get changed and put your mother's gowns away nicely. By the way, did you have her permission to go through her wardrobe, you know how she is about her clothes." 

"Yes, I did," Zoey smirked. "I talked to her today." 

"How did she sound to you?" 

"A little tired, but OK. Why?" 

"No reason. Go change." When Zoey disappeared into the bathroom, Jed picked up the phone. 

"Are you busy tomorrow, CJ?" Zoey heard him ask. "Zoey needs someone to take her shopping for an appropriate State Dinner wardrobe...Yes, of course I thought of you...No, not because Abbey is always harping at you to show more dÏ©colletage...OK, I'll let her know...thanks, CJ." 

"Uh, Dad," Zoey said, peering out of the bathroom door. "I don't need a whole wardrobe. I did find something in Mom's closet. Look at these kick ass shoes." She dangled a pair of strappy black Ferragamo stiletto's on one finger. Abbey had passed her penchant for wickedly high heels on to all of her daughters. 

"I hope you can walk on those as well as your mother does," Jed warned. 

+++++ 

Standing on one side of Jed, Jenny smiled as she watched Zoey reach up with one hand to straighten her father's bow tie. 

Jed smiled down at his daughter, wondering just when his smart mouthed little tomboy had turned into such a lovely, poised, young woman. "You remind more of your mother every day," he ran a finger over her cheek. 

"I'll take that as a compliment," Zoey grinned. 

"As well you should," Jed said slightly indignant at the idea that being compared to his wife could be anything but a compliment. 

The three stood along with the President of Ecuador and his wife shaking hands for what seemed like hours. There was a funny warmth inside Jenny that she hadn't felt in a long time. Standing beside Jed in the role that she would love to have fulfilled had brought that back. The role she had desired was not that of First Lady, but that of Jed Bartlet's wife. Maybe if she had not coveted that role so completely, her marriage to Leo might have been different. As she stood, brushing arms with Jed and listening to him charm the guests that moved through the receiving line she was reminded of the good looking, kind, young man she had fallen in love with at the Notre Dame seminary. Working together for Father Flynn had thrown them together and created a friendship that might not have existed in any other way. To him, she was just a confidant, a close friend, but she was attracted to him a way that was not merely friendly, in a way that was completely inappropriate considering he was planning on becoming a priest. So, she had been content to be his friend and listen to his conflicts trying not to push things up a notch. However, in her dreams and her fantasies, Jed would come to her and tell her that he couldn't stand it anymore, that his feelings for her were so strong that he couldn't continue in the seminary and he was giving up any idea of becoming a priest. She really believed that if she just stuck it out Jed would come to her and utter those very words. And, he had. Just not in the way she had planned. She would never forget the day he came to her wearing his heart on his sleeve, his blue eyes filled with excitement, and told her he was definitely done with the seminary. That he had met a young woman named Abigail O'Neill and she was beautiful and smart and committed to making the world a better place, and he was falling in love with her. She had feigned excitement for him, when inside she simply wanted to die. 

Jed had never known how she felt. He still saw her as his old buddy Jenny and it was certainly better that way. But Leo knew. She had met Leo at Abbey and Jed's wedding, at a time when all her friends were starting to marry and have babies. Shy, socially inept Leo McGarry did not have Jed's composure, or his passionate desire to save the world. He did not have Jed's wiry, narrow hipped build, or all that thick tawny hair, or even those bluer than blue eyes that made her melt. But, he was kind and sweet in his own way, and more importantly, he was wounded. He had a chip on his shoulder the size of Texas and some real grievances with the world. He needed her in a way that Jed never had and that drew her to him. They had only been dating a couple of months, in fact were just getting to know each other, when Leo's number was called in the draft. Leo didn't have much of a family to come back to and she had thought it would be romantic to marry him before he went so he would have someone to come home to. It had been a mistake to marry him so quickly and on the rebound. When he returned from Vietnam, they had had a difficult time adjusting to each other. They had fought terribly. Jenny had pictured Jed's best friend to be just like him, but Leo wasn't like Jed. She couldn't have long heart to heart talks about the world with Leo as she had Jed, for while Jed was an idealist, Leo was a cynic, even more so since he had returned home. He had come home with one goal and one goal only. To make enough money to be able to tell all those rich kids that had put him down to screw off. He wanted his place in the upper echelon of society. 

Leo didn't remember birthdays or make a big deal over the holidays or even want a family. After Jed and Abbey had returned home from London with little toddler Elizabeth, Jenny ached to have a baby. Leo was adamantly against it. At that time she was just a hurt young woman whose husband didn't want to have a baby with her, now she knew it was fear. Fear that he would pass on the gene that had made his grandfather, his father, and now unbenounced to her, him, an alcoholic. He feared passing on that crazy family gene that caused his father to commit suicide. But back then she had lashed out shouting at him that if only she had married Jed like she had wanted, she would have everything she desired, including as many babies as she wanted. She had watched her husband's face pale and his eyes fill with pain and she had wanted so badly to take those words back. She knew that he had never forgotten those words thrown at him in anger, forgiven maybe, but not forgotten. It had clouded their marriage even after he had given in and allowed her their one beautiful child, Mallory. A child whose birth he had missed, because he was in New York City on business. To his credit, he had flown right home. But, Mallory was almost a day old before he saw her. She knew that he was aware of her disappointment in him. He had in fact heard her on the phone with Abbey saying that he and Jed would not be able to share birth stories since he wasn't even in the same city when Mallory was born, never mind the same room. It was just one more way he had not lived up to the ideal of Jed Bartlet. And that was what it was. She did not live with Jed and thus had an idealized vision of him, however that vision was not that far off the mark. 

That had never become clearer to her than when Leo's drinking had become completely out of hand. Jed was in DC in Congress and Abbey had stayed home with their family of now three young girls. It was Jed who brought Leo home, stinking of alcohol, vomit, and sometimes even other women. Together, they would sober him up and try to keep his condition from touching Mallory. Jed was her rock during this time and she didn't know what she would have done without him. It was at this time that she realized just what kind of man that kind college boy she had fallen in love with had become. A man of strength and conviction and one with a strong moral core. Despite being away from Abbey all week, Jed never came to her home reeking of other women's perfume. She knew the temptation was out there, especially for men in his position, but it just would not occur to Jed to be untrue to Abbey. Instead he made the effort to go home every weekend, or she would fly down to spend a weekend with him. Despite how Jenny had felt at first about their marriage, she was able to see what a strong, unshakable union these two had. She envied Abbey Jed's love and more importantly, his attention. When he was drunk, or angry and hung over, Leo often threw her early love for Jed out at her, asking if she still wanted him. But it wasn't long before she found out that she wasn't the only McGarry in love with a member of the Bartlet family. Evidently her husband had been quietly lusting over pretty Abbey Bartlet for quite a long time. And when, at the DNC fund-raiser 10 years ago, she had heard what he said to Abbey and saw what he did, it had almost been the end of her marriage. 

++++ 

Jed was chatting away with the head of a movie studio when he felt the slight pressure on his elbow. For a moment he was startled and glanced down expecting to see Abbey, but it was not Abbey, it was a smiling Zoey. 

"I see your mother is teaching you some tricks," Jed said softly as the last of the guests passed. 

"Well, somebody has to be here to keep you from backing the line up for miles," she teased. Jed chuckled and turned to Jenny. 

"Time to go to dinner, Jenn," he said taking her elbow. Jenny came out of her walk down memory lane and smiled up into those beautiful blue eyes, still wondering what might have been. 

+++++ 

With dinner over, the evening moved into mingling and dancing. Jenny watched Jed dance with the First Lady of Ecuador, then Zoey, and now it was her turn. 

She felt Jed's arms go around her and stepped closer into his embrace. He had always been incredibly dashing in a tuxedo and tonight was no exception. She closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of his aftershave and cologne, and simply for one moment in time reveled in what it was like to be in Jed Bartlet's arms. Although she had danced with Jed many times over the years, it never failed to give her a slight thrill. It was, however, evident that Jed did not share in that thrill. He was polite and charming as ever but his mind was obviously elsewhere. 

"You miss Abbey," she said. 

"Yeah," he admitted on a sigh. Yes, he missed his wife like hell. He missed catching her eye across the crowded room and getting that smile that belonged to him only. He missed the warm feeling that would spread from his chest, to his belly, to his groin, at the possession and promise of that smile. He missed the way she would teasingly brush up against him, only to walk away and mingle with other guests. He missed the way she would tease him with a flash of her stocking clad leg and the way she would allow his fingers to work their way up that leg, under the table, to feel the garters he knew would be holding those stockings up. He missed they way she felt in his arms, all soft skin and womanly curves. The way her breasts would press just under his chest and her cheek would lie against his shoulder. The way he could rest his chin on top of her head and inhale the sweet fragrance of her hair and feel her breath against his ear. He missed the way they would be so hot for each other by the end of the evening they could barely make it back to the residence before tearing each other's clothes off. 

"Jed," Jenny prodded his arm. 

"What?" Jed was startled back to the present. 

"I asked if you think she'll be back before Christmas?" 

"I hope so," Jed said with feeling. "But it will depend on how Beth is doing. It just won't seem like the Christmas season without Abbey and the babies. It's funny Jenn, last year Ash and Nicky didn't even exist yet, except in our hopes and prayers, and now I can't imagine what my life would be like without them." 

Jenny gazed up at him, grinning fondly. 

"What are you smiling about?" He asked. 

"You. Look how far you've come from that unsure seminary student I first met. A wife, five kids, and President of the United States." 

"Yeah, that wasn't exactly my ambition in the beginning." 

"Not exactly," she agreed, "but more importantly is the man that you have become. Strong, confident, loving, you should be proud of the man that you have become. Don't let the next few weeks take any of that away from you." 

"I'll try not to," he said, his eyes clouding over at the thought of the upcoming hearings. "But what about you, Jenny? Are you happy with your new life, with Jeffery?" 

"I'm content." 

"That is not what I asked, Jennifer," he said, looking down into her eyes. 

"Well, it's the only answer I can give you. Everything about who I am changed when I divorced Leo and I had to start all over. Am I in love with Jeffery? I'm really not sure. I care about him very much. He puts me first in a way Leo never did. Is he my soulmate? No." 

"That was Leo," Jed said softly with a pang in his heart for her. 

"No, Jed. It wasn't Leo. I loved Leo, but we were not soulmates the way you and Abbey are." It took a moment for Jed to digest that statement. He knew Jenny and Leo had had their problems, mainly with his drinking, but had assumed that they had always felt as connected as he and Abbey did. 

"Don't settle Jenny," he said. 

"What?" 

"If Leo wasn't your soulmate and Jeffery isn't, then he must still be out there. Don't give up on finding him." 

"I think it's getting a little late for that," Jenny gave a harsh laugh. "Being content is fine for me at this time in my life." 

"It's never too late, Jenn. Being with the one person that you know you are meant to be with is the most incredible experience you will ever have. Yes, I found that person when I was only 21, but that doesn't mean it still can't happen for you. Don't give up on that chance." 

++++ 

"Dad, there's someone at the door and I'm giving Aislinn a bottle. Can you answer it?" Abbey called out. 

"Sure, honey." Michael came out of the kitchen where he was helping Beth re-learn to use her utensils in her left hand. He strode down the hall and opened the door to see a Federal Express man holding a thin package marked 'Do Not Bend'. 

"Dr. Michael O'Neill?" The man asked. 

"Yes." 

"I have a package for you. Can you sign here?" 

"OK," Michael said. Although he was retired, he still did a lot of consulting for other doctors who would send him their patients' cases, so he assumed that was what this was. He signed for the package and shut the door. He began to tear the tab as he entered the living room where his daughter was seated feeding his granddaughter. His grandson was sitting on a quilt on the floor playing with blocks and began to crawl toward him with a smile as he walked in. Michael grinned at the scene before him. In spite of the circumstances, he had enjoyed having Abbey and the twins here these past couple of weeks. It was nice to be able to spend time with her and get to know these two newest grandchildren. With the tab opened, Michael slid the contents of the package out and glanced down at them. The smile left his lips and his face turned ashen. 

"Oh my God," he choked. 

"Daddy, what is it?" Abbey's tone was urgent as she watched her father age 10 years right in front of her. 

"Abigail, go get your agents. NOW!" 

"Daddy" Abbey said, setting Aislinn down on the quilt next to her brother, "what is it?" She moved to his side, taking the envelope from his hand and glanced down. 

"Oh God...oh my God," her fingers flew to her lips on a sharp, panicked, intake of breath. She began to sift through picture after picture of she and Jed having sex in the barn loft. The photos were black and white and they were incredibly graphic. Picture after picture of she and Jed undressing each other, kissing and embracing while half clothed, naked and straining as they made love. Nothing had been left out. In some of the pictures, there were big black X's crossed over Jed. At the bottom were the pictures her father had tried to hide from her when she approached. Abbey's eyes widened and her heart lurched as she saw the words 'Did you know your daughter is a WHORE?' slashed in red marker across a photo of her sliding Jed's jeans down while she kissed along the edge of his boxer shorts. 

Abbey felt her legs weaken and the bile rise in her throat. She collapsed onto the chair trying to keep from throwing up or fainting, or, worse yet, going into a full-blown panic attack. 

"Abbey, honey, are you OK?" Michael placed a hand on her shoulder. 

"Dad, oh God," she groaned, bringing her hands to her face with embarrassment. Her FATHER had seen those pictures of her. Her FATHER had just seen her naked and having sex. 

"Abbey," Michael said, pushing his own embarrassment to the back burner. Yes, it had been a hell of a shock to actually see his daughter and son-in-law that way. Obviously intellectually he knew they had sex, these two babies sitting here were proof enough of that, and he was happy his daughter was in such a loving marriage, but seeing it in black and white was a whole other story. However, right now his concern was more important than his embarrassment. "Are these recent?" He asked. 

"Yes," Abbey choked, "just this past Thanksgiving. You know I felt something wasn't right while I was out riding. He must have been watching me the whole time. Dad, he was up in that loft the whole time Jed and I were...God, I think I'm going to be sick." her arms clutched around her middle and she rocked back and forth. 

"Take deep long breaths, Abbey," Michael counseled, "don't start to hyperventilate." 

"Daddy, what if it's paparazzi? What if he puts those pictures on the Internet or sells them to some porno magazine or..." A sharp pain filled cry from Nicholas stopped Abbey's panicked litany. She jumped to her feet and raced to where her son was sitting bleeding and screaming. While she had been looking at the photos, Nicky had been holding onto the coffee table trying pull himself up to stand and had fallen forward cutting his lip on the edge of the table. 

"Oh Nicky, I'm so sorry," Abbey picked him up and held him to her chest. "Mummy should have been paying more attention to you. I'm so sorry." Nicky's screams of pain and indignation rose once he was in his mother's arms and, stressed to the breaking point, Abbey's eyes filled with tears. Michael could see how close his daughter was to losing it completely. 

"It's just a little cut," he said examining his grandson's mouth while Nicholas fought his prying hands and tried to hide his face against his mother's neck. "You take care of Nicky and I'll take Aislinn to go get your agents. They need to see these and figure out who the hell this person is and how he got into that loft." Abbey wanted to protest. She didn't want anyone else seeing those pictures, but she knew better. She knew that the agents had to be told about this kind of security breach, so she simply nodded and headed toward the kitchen to get some ice for her son's lip. 

Michael picked up his granddaughter and headed for the door. His initial embarrassment had faded into anger. Anger with the Secret Service for not protecting his family better. If that guy had wanted to kill his daughter or son-in-law there would have been nothing stopping him. Jed's being shot last year had scared the hell out of him and made him increasingly concerned for his family's safety. Now this was actually worse. This was not somebody shooting from a distance. This person had been right in that loft with them. 

++++ 

It was late in the evening when Jed returned to the Oval Office after a speaking engagement at American University. Leo and Josh were with him discussing the itinerary of his upcoming quick trip to India. 

"We need to cut back on a couple events if you want to make this a three day trip rather than a four," Josh stated. 

"I do," Jed said firmly, "Zoey is dancing in 'The Nutcracker' and, with Abbey gone, I want one of us to be there. But, I don't want you to cut out the Calcutta orphanage," he warned, "I really want to go there." 

"OK, we'll cut something else," Josh peered back down at the schedule. 

"Your coffee, sir," Sammi said entering the room with the mug Jed had requested. 

"Thanks," Jed said, barely glancing up from his copy of the schedule. 

Instead of setting the mug on the edge of the desk, Sammi made it a point to lean down over Jed's shoulder to place the mug at his hand. Jed gazed up from his paper and his eyes were on level with Sammi's ample breasts. Josh raised an eyebrow at Leo who raised one right back. 

"Will there be anything else, sir?" There was a hint of the seductive in Sammi's soft voice. 

"Not right now," Jed said, completely oblivious to the young woman. Josh and Leo were staring at him with expectation as Sammi departed. 

'What?" Jed asked. But before they could reply, Sammi poked her head back in. 

"Sir, Ron Butterfield is here to see you." 

"Send him in." 

"I'll see what we can do about the schedule," Josh said. He collected his papers and prepared to leave the office. Just outside the Oval Office he approached Sammi, who was seated at her computer. He rested his rear on the edge of her desk and crossed his arms. 

"I hope you know it isn't going to work," he said almost with amusement. 

"What?" Sammi asked innocently. 

"Coming on to the President like that." 

"I wasn't coming on to him," she said with shock. Josh had to give her credit. She was a pretty good little actress. "I am doing this job just the way Charlie does." 

"What planet are you on?" Josh burst into laughter. "Charlie doesn't swish around in short skirts and drop a pencil in front of the President so he can bend down and give him a good look up his skirt. Charlie doesn't press his boobs into the President's face. I can assure you when the President realizes what you are up to, you won't want to face his wrath." 

"I don't know wh..." 

"Just some friendly advice," Josh interrupted, "the President is a very happily married man. I've watched many women, especially on the campaign trail, come on to him and I can honestly say that he is completely immune to someone like you." The last word was said with obvious disdain as Josh stood and began to head back to his office. Sammi glowered at his departing back. 

"We'll just see about that, Mr. Lyman," she seethed, "we'll just see about that." 

Inside the Oval Office, Ron approached Jed with a grim face. "Sir," he began, "while you were gone this evening there was an incident concerning your wife." 

"Abbey?" Jed's voice held an edge of panic that Leo felt as well. "What happened? Is she..." 

"It's OK," Ron said, holding his hand up to ward off further questioning. "She's fine, just a little shaken up. Evidently your father-in-law received a package from Federal Express that held some photos." 

"What kind of photos?" Jed asked. Ron handed him a folder. Leo watched with concern as Jed's face first paled then began to redden as his anger rose. He peered over his Jed's shoulder giving a small gasp at seeing two of his best friends having intercourse. He immediately averted his eyes when he realized what he was looking at. 

"Mrs. Bartlet said these were taken quite recently," Ron said with unshakable professionalism. 

"The day after Thanksgiving," Jed said tightly. "What the HELL is going on, Ron? To get these photos, the son of a bitch had to be right there in the loft with us. How the hell did he get past your people?" 

"I don't know sir. Believe me I am trying to get to the bottom of this." 

"What if he sells these photos to Penthouse or something?" 

"We've had the Psych guys look at them and they don't think that he will. If he were paparazzi, he wouldn't have sent the pictures in the mail to your wife's father, he'd have just sold them to the highest bidder. This is definitely someone who has a grudge against you two." 

"You keep referring to this person as him. How do you know it isn't a female?" Leo asked. 

Ron grabbed the folder and flipped forward to the photo that called Abbey a whore. Anger and fear warred within Jed at the hatred expressed for his wife in the blood red marker, and Leo was shocked into silence. "This is quite obviously a male who is fixated on your wife, sir. He took these pictures to shock her, to scare her, to show that he has power over her and from the statement on this photo and the ones where you are X'ed out, we'd have to say that he is consumed by jealousy. We are going to put this up against all the other threats and letters of a sexual nature that we have received about your wife and see if we can come up with a match." 

"ALL the others, Ron. Do you receive a lot about Abbey?" 

"She gets her fair share. Your wife is a beautiful woman, sir, and there are a lot of disturbed people out there." Ron didn't tell him that he received more letters written to Abbey from men professing their love and desire for her than any other First Lady he had ever worked for. At times, it seemed more like Abbey Bartlet was a movie star rather than a First Lady. Most of these were completely harmless love letters, but others were violent and pornographic. Those were the ones he would be looking into. 

"I don't want Abbey knowing this, Ron. I don't want to scare her any more than she is." Then, speaking of Abbey being scared caused Jed to give a start as he remembered their conversation on the phone just the other day. 

"Ron, a few days ago Abbey thought she saw someone standing on the patio looking in through the doors and watching her sleep. YOUR agents said there wasn't anybody there. JESUS, he was there, Ron. He was right there watching her. Dammit, I'm going up to Salem. I don't want Abbey there alone." 

"You can't," Leo said quietly. "You have to leave for India." 

"Then I'll cancel the damn trip, I'll..." 

"Sir, don't cancel your trip," Ron said. "Your wife is not alone. The agents are aware of what has happened. Mrs. Bartlet will not be left alone. I assure you sir that you wife and children are safe." 

"He got by your agents once." 

"Well, he won't do it again," Ron said confidently. 

"Ron, I am putting my wife and children's lives in your hands. I am trusting you and your people to take care of them." 

"And we will sir. I will personally see to it that Mrs. Barlet is well guarded." 

"OK then," Jed said, still not convinced that anyone could protect Abbey and the babies better than he could. Yes, they were trained better than him, and yes, they were supposed to be willing to lay down their lives for them, but he knew for damn sure that if it came down to it, HE would fight until the death to protect Abbey and the kids. He didn't want to go to India now. He hated the idea of leaving the country while his wife was being threatened. He wanted to go to Abbey, reassure her, take care of her, and make her feel safe. He wanted... 

"FUCK!" He swore, picking up a glass paperweight and throwing it across the room. Leo jumped as it shattered against the wall, realizing that Jed was filled with impotent, frustrated, fury. "I'm going back to the residence, Leo. I'm going to call Abbey." 

+++ 

"Why didn't you call me?" Jed said switching the phone to speaker so he could yank his tie off angrily and still talk. "I had to find out from Ron about this guy." 

"I did try to call you Jed but you were speaking at AU. Don't you think I wanted to talk to you? I'm scared Jed..." her voice trembled. 

"Ahh, Abbey, don't cry. I'm sorry I snapped at you." 

"I'm not crying," she insisted, however the suspicious sniffling gave her away. "Did you see the pictures?" 

"Yeah, Ron showed them to me." 

"He was right there. Right up with us in the loft, and he was watching us while we made love. It makes me sick to think of him being right there, hearing us and seeing us like that. I just feel...I feel violated somehow. Like he took something beautiful and loving and just made it tawdry." 

"It wasn't tawdry, Abbey. We are a married couple and we were making love. There is nothing tawdry about the way I love you," Jed heard the suspicious sniffles again. 

"My FATHER saw those pictures, Jed. Do you know how absolutely mortifying that was?" 

"I'm sure your father didn't think twice about it." 

"Sure," Abbey said sarcastically. "What if it were Elizabeth and Jay and those photos were sent to you. I think you'd think a little more than twice about it." 

"Yes, but I don't have to worry about that." 

"Oh, and why is that?" 

"Because Lizzie and Jay don't have sex," he deadpanned. 

There was a pause on the other end and then Abbey gave a small burst of laughter, smiling through her tears. 

"I don't know how you do that, Jed. I've never known how you can do that so easy." 

"What?" 

"Make me laugh even when I'm hurting." 

"God, you don't know how much I wish I was there. I want to hold you my arms tonight and take care of you." 

"And you don't know how much I wish I could curl up in your arms tonight. Does Ron have any leads as to who this might be?" 

"Not yet," Jed said evasively, "he's looking into it. Oh, by the way, remember those Faberge paper weights we got from the Russian ambassador?" 

"Yes. Don't even tell me," she sighed, knowing what he was about to say, "did you have some kind of temper tantrum?" 

"I did not have a temper tantrum," he said indignantly. "You've been around Ash and Nicky too much. However, I did let my temper get the better of me after Leo reminded me that I couldn't fly up to Salem tonight because I'm leaving for India in the morning. I don't want to leave the country with this looming over our heads. I guess I got a little pissed and I broke it." 

"You threw it, didn't you?" 

"Right against the wall," he admitted. "It shattered on contact." 

"A temper tantrum." 

+++++ 

Usually Ron headed Jed's personal detail when he went on trips, but this time he stayed behind to investigate the picture situation and to make sure that Abbey Bartlet was being well protected. He received two, sometimes three, phone calls a day from the President and was thankful to be able to tell him, that while he hadn't made any headway into finding a suspect, there had not been any contact or anything suspicious around the First Lady. 

Jed returned to the White House after a three-day trip that had affected him incredibly strongly. He had been to India once before and on that trip, he had seen only the beauty. He had visited the Taj Mahal with Abbey, had a romantic dinner in an elegant restaurant, made love to her in a five star hotel, and created the babies that he was missing so badly right now. On this trip, he had seen the abject poverty and suffering of a third world country. He had seen the children of Mother Theresa's orphanage and held starving young children and dying babies in his arms. He would like to have come home to a warm hug from his wife and to hold his healthy babies in his arms, but it was a silent return he was given. The residence was too quiet and too lonely without Abbey and the kids and, after pacing a bit, he made a phone call and went down to the Oval Office. 

"Sammi." 

"Yes, sir." 

"I'd like you to come with me." 

"Where are we going?" 

"Well, I can't tell you that just now. This going to be our little secret. I don't want you telling any of the senior staff, even Leo, and I absolutely do not want Abbey finding out." 

"Yes, sir," Sammi smiled, licking her lips with anticipation. 

++++ 

For the third time in one week the President and Sammi returned from an unscheduled trip outside the White House. Josh, Leo, and CJ eyed each other warily as the President came bounding inside with a big grin, obviously in a much better mood then when he had returned from India. He didn't even seem all that worried at the moment that the hearings were starting in a couple days. It was that buoyancy that made them nervous. This was the way he was when Abbey returned from a trip, but Abbey had been gone a long time, and it was Sammi that seemed to be putting him in such a good humor. 

"You don't think they could be..." Josh trailed off as the President walked away from them to enter the Oval Office. 

"No," Leo snorted. 

"He wouldn't do that to Abbey," CJ said firmly. Still, the three glanced at the closed doors to the Oval Office all with varying degrees of suspicion. Only rarely did Leo and Jed interfere in each other's personal lives, but Leo felt he owed it to Abbey to find out exactly what her husband was up to. He entered the Oval Office, his blood running cold as he heard Jed lying to his wife. 

"No Abbey, she must have made a mistake looking at the schedule. I didn't leave here unscheduled. I had a meeting on the Hill. Look, Honey, I've got to go. Leo is in here frowning at me. I'll talk to you tonight. I love you," he hung up the phone, surprised to look up and see Leo's eyes blazing with anger. 

"You didn't have a meeting on the Hill today, Jed," he said, dispensing with formality. This was not a conversation between boss and employee, it was between two friends, one of whom was going to kick the other's ass if he was hurting the woman he loved. "You want to tell me why you're lying to Abbey?" 

"You want to tell me how this is any of your business?" 

"Goddammit Jed! Are you fucking Sammi?" 

"Are you out of your damned mind," Jed said with a combination of anger and astonishment. He stared at Leo for a long moment in complete shock. First of all, Leo did not ever talk to him that way, at least not since he had become President, HE was the one who was always throwing the expletives around. But most of all he just could not believe that Leo could, for one moment, entertain the idea of him screwing around on Abbey. 

"I think it's a valid question," Leo said undaunted, however, it was clear from Jed's expression and tone that nothing of the sort had been going on. Most of the time he could read Jed like a book, and at the moment, there wasn't any guile in him at all. 

"You think it's valid to question my fidelity to my WIFE? God Leo, you know me better than that. Have I ever strayed? You've been with me when I had many opportunities for an easy lay but not once did I cheat on Abbey. And while you're standing there so holier than though, weren't you the one who told me that if I did want a little quickie on the side Abbey never had to know." 

Leo stared at him open mouthed, the pain in his eyes evident. They had made a pact when he had gotten sober never to bring up what went on when he was drinking. Jed had just broken that pact for the first time. 

"I'm sorry," Jed sighed. The look on Leo's face began to deflate his anger just a bit. "I know I promised not to bring up any of that stuff again, but Jesus Leo, you really pissed me off with that one. You of all people know how seriously I take my wedding vows, and you know that Abbey is EVERYTHING to me. And yet you accuse me of doing it with Sammi, of all people. She's just a girl. She's Ellie's age. I'm old enough to be her father." 

"If she's Ellie's age, she's a WOMAN, Jed, and she certainly does not see you as a father. She is a woman who wants you. We've all seen it. Don't tell me you haven't noticed. You aren't that immune." 

"She's just got a little crush Leo. Just like the young coeds used to get when I was teaching. You know sort of a hero worship. They see an older, mature, debonair man, who seems to know everything about the world, and it makes the boys they're dating seem childish and immature." 

"Debonair eh?" Leo grinned. 

"I can be quite debonair when I want," Jed informed him. "Look, I've been through this quite a few times. I'm the President of the United States and I'm married. This GIRL is not going to try anything." 

"I wouldn't be so sure," Leo muttered. 

"So what exactly made you guys think I was messing around with her?" 

"You've been taking off with her on these unscheduled trips and nobody but the Service knows where you are going. You came back in a better mood than you've been in since Thanksgiving and then I caught you lying to Abbey about where you had been." 

"Well, I can tell you aren't a lawyer, Leo, because that's a whole lot of circumstantial evidence you just threw at me. Since it's obvious that I can't keep a secret in this place, I will ease your mind by telling you that Sammi and I have been accompanied by my whole entourage of agents and a couple of real estate agents." 

"Real estate agents?" Leo asked puzzled. 

"Yes, real estate agents. This summer Abbey was feeling pretty caged in and worried about raising the twins here in the White House without any freedom. She talked about wanting a getaway place close enough to DC so that we could go on the weekends and be a normal family like when we're in New Hampshire or Maine. Evidently quite a few Presidents have done this. JFK and Jackie had a farm in Virginia." 

"You're looking for another farm?" 

"Bingo. I've been looking at properties in Maryland and Virginia. Today I found the perfect place. It's a farm on a bluff overlooking Chesapeake Bay. You know how Abbey loves the water. It's got a huge porch and a barn for her horse. I just know Abbey is going to love it. It's going to be my Christmas present to her." The excitement and pleasure he was taking in this was apparent in both his eyes and his tone of voice and Leo felt quite chagrined. He had come in here accusing Jed of cheating on Abbey, when in fact, he was out eagerly searching for a gift that would fulfill her wishes. 

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" 

"Because none of you can keep a secret. I didn't want you letting the cat out of the bag with Abbey. I want to surprise her. Sammi will be long gone before she gets back so I didn't worry too much about her coming along to help out." 

"I guess I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions but I am going to stick by my earlier observation and tell you to watch out for her. That woman is up to no good." 

++++ 

"Jed, I'm fine up here, really. I know I was upset when I first talked to you but nothing has happened since." 

"I just hate you being so far away. I'd feel much safer if you were home with me." 

"You know, you were saying the same thing to me about this time last year," she smiled into the receiver. 

"That was different, last year you were seven months pregnant and I was terrified you were going to go into labor with me hundreds of miles away." 

"It's not all that different, Jed. Don't you think I can take care of myself?" She was baiting him now. 

"Of course I know you can take care of yourself. I just feel better when there are two of us doing it. You are incredibly headstrong, Angel, and you tend to believe that you are indestructible." 

"Well, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black," she laughed. 

"I just feel safer when we're together," his voice took a serious turn. 

"I know," she said tenderly. "I feel safer when I'm with you too, and I miss you so much my bones ache." 

"My bones are fine," he grinned, "it's another part of my anatomy that aches when you're away." 

"Yeah, I can guess what part it is," she smiled, "but it won't be aching for too much longer. Mom is doing much better. Her speech has improved incredibly. She barely slurs anymore and her left side is getting stronger. I won't be here much longer. You need to stay right where you are. Leo needs you right now more than I do." 

"The hearings are going to be hard on him," Jed admitted. 

"His sobriety is so fragile, Jed. We saw that at the debates. I'm really worried about how this will affect him." 

"Me too." 

"So you stay where you are. I'm fine and I'll be with you soon...," she paused and the bossy tone she had taken then softened, "and Jed, thank you." 

"Why are you thanking me?" 

"For not giving me a hard time about staying up here with the kids. I know it hasn't been easy not having us around, especially at this time of year. But this time with my mother has been very special for me. It's been so rewarding to finally be able to give something back to her after all she's done for me, for us." 

"I know how important this is to you, Abbey." 

"And that's why I love you so much." She knew a lot of men wouldn't have given that any consideration. "Are you going to give Leo a call before he leaves?" 

"Yeah, I'll give him a call as soon as we hang up." 

"Well, I'll let you go then. Give him my support." 

"I will." 

+++++++++ 

Jed lay in bed and gave the clock a glance. It was 3 a.m. and he had been tossing and turning for three hours now. His damn mind would not stop replaying watching Leo at the hearing earlier in the day. It had been tough having to watch his friend berated for something he hadn't even known about until it was much too late. He wasn't surprised at how fast they had brought Abbey into the equation, but he was dismayed. One day had revealed to him that Oliver had been absolutely correct in assuming what Republican strategy would be. They weren't going to go directly after him. There was enough compassion for him in the country that they couldn't be seen to kick a man while he was down. No, they knew how to bring him to his knees. They knew just where his weakness lay. It lay in his feelings for his wife, his children, and his friends. Those committee members might not like his policies or like him personally, but they knew that deep down he was a man of great integrity and was not going to let anyone take the fall for him. Because of that none of those on the subpoena list were safe. 

First on the list to destroy was Leo. The world knew he was an alcoholic and drug abuser, what they didn't know was that he had relapsed just three short years ago. There was someone other than Jenny, Josh, Abbey, and himself who knew that though. Someone who had the power to expose all the sordid details. Someone on the committee. However, there was a way out. They had offered Leo deal, a deal he had passed on with disgust. Taking that deal would have meant not only betraying his President but even more importantly, his friend. Because of that loyalty, when the details emerged, Leo would be finished, he would never be able to work in this town again. 

Next on their malicious agenda would be Abbey. It was already apparent that they were trying to paint her as some evil, scheming woman, so power hungry and intent on getting her husband elected President she would lie and manipulate and cover up in order to achieve this goal. They would tell the American people that the Bartlets knowingly hid the knowledge of Governor Bartlet's disease just so he could reach his lifelong goal of becoming President. They wouldn't listen to Abbey tell them that wasn't how it started at all. It had not been his lifelong goal to become President. He had gotten involved in politics at a local level to make things better in his community, but he still saw himself as a professor. But, as he got more involved, he found that he enjoyed helping people and getting things done and he seemed to have a knack for it which made his political career flourish. Sure he had toyed with the idea of being President. Every politician did. But he had never really seriously thought of running, did not hunger for the power of being President. Leo had changed that. Leo had convinced him that what he had to say was worth hearing and, in spite of the fact that everyone knew he didn't have a snowballs chance in hell of winning, he could add a valuable voice to the debate. He would lend his voice to those who were voiceless, the poor, the weak, the ill, the disenfranchised. If nothing else he would pull that pseudo-Republican John Hoynes back to the left. Nobody was more shocked than he was when he developed a loyal following, began to rise in the polls, and started winning in places he wasn't supposed to win. At that point it was too late to disclose anything about the MS. He had weakened Hoynes to the point that, if he had let him have the nomination, the Democrats never would have won the White House. And, he had begun to taste victory. He began to want to be President in a way he had never felt before. Abbey had been by his side from the start. She saw how his need to speak out had gradually changed to a need to implement the ideas and programs that were becoming so close to his heart. She had kept quiet and treated him, believing it when he told her he didn't have a chance to win. It had all started out as a bit as a lark and she wanted to afford him his place on the national stage. She believed in him so strongly, believed he deserved to be heard. Later, as he started winning, she was strong in her belief that this disease would not affect his ability govern, and equally strong in her belief that most people who didn't understand the disease would not agree. She had gone along with him because she loved him and that love knew no bounds. Nobody would believe Abbey could care less if he was President, Governor, or professor. They would destroy her personal reputation as well as her professional one. 

"Dammit," he swore, getting out of bed. He certainly wasn't going to fall asleep dwelling on the way his wife and friends would be damaged because of him. He made his way to the bathroom and turned the spigot on to fill a glass with water. While he drank the cool liquid he glanced up at his reflection in the mirror staring deeply into his bloodshot, weary eyes, while remembering comments his staff had made to him over the past couple of days. 

Idealistic Sam, who Jed knew, held him up on a pedestal. Sam looked up to him maybe more than anyone else on the senior staff did. His father had already disillusioned him, so finding out about the MS had been particularly hard on him. It had shattered the illusions he had about a man he respected above all others. So when it was Sam that brought up the fact that he didn't think it was right to be casual with the truth, it had hurt Jed to the core. 

As he moved to the window to stare out over the city, Toby's words came back to haunt him. 'When the falls all that's left, it matters a great deal.' When the falls all that's left, Jed mused. He knew exactly what Toby was getting at. How he dealt with this would be a test of what kind of man he was. He stepped out on to the balcony and lit a cigarette. He took a deep long drag and looked up at the sky. 

"You happy, you old bastard?" He asked looking up at the sky. He knew somewhere in the afterlife his father was having a good laugh over the trials he was now facing. He leaned his elbows on the railing, tiredly hanging his head with defeat. He felt a desperate need to talk to Abbey, to hear her reassuring voice. But, a glance at his watch nixed that idea. He wasn't going to call and wake the whole house. Instead, he stubbed his cigarette out and moved back inside hoping to get at least a couple hours of sleep before morning. 

+++ 

"You look like hell," Leo told him the next morning. 

"Yeah, well, I didn't get much sleep last night." 

"You can't let this get to you," Leo said. "This hearing is going to be a long haul. We're going to be under siege for a while to come." 

"Yeah," Jed said distracted, knowing it might not be as long as Leo thought. 

"Sir," Sammi said entering the room, "the First Lady is returning your call." 

"Thanks," he looked to Leo, "I have to take this." He lifted the receiver. Leo nodded and discreetly left for his office. 

"Hey babe," Jed said, putting the phone to his ear. 

"Hey yourself. Dad said it was really important that I call you right back." 

"Yeah, did you have a nice walk with the twins and your Mom?" 

"We didn't stay out long, it's too cold. But that isn't why you called, is it?" 

"No." 

"Jed, am I going to have to pull this out of you? You sound tired. Is something wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong. I just felt that you should be the first to know that I've decided to accept a congressional censure." 

"You're going to take the censure?" She said, stunned. "Why?" 

Jed smiled at the question. He knew that would be her response. She trusted him enough to make his own decisions where he knew others would try to convince him this was not the right path. That is, as long as his reasons were valid. 

"Mainly because it's the right thing to do." 

"But you were so ready to fight. What changed everything?" 

"Watching Leo up there in front of those smug self righteous bastards and thinking about everyone else who would have to face them." 

"Josiah Bartlet, you better not be accepting that censure just to keep me from having to testify." 

"I am." 

"Jed, dammit I'm a big girl. I can..." 

"Not just you, spitfire. You and Liz and Ellie and Zoey and CJ and everyone else who doesn't deserve to have to go through this." 

"We're all ready for this Jed. Don't underestimate the strength in our girls." 

"I'm not, but this is wrong, Abbey. CJ, Toby, Sam, Josh, none of them should be racking up the lawyer bills that are growing as we speak. They're innocent, but by the time the committee is through with them, their reputations will be completely tarnished. And, it's not just that. If this hearing drags on for month after month, which I am sure the Republicans will try to do, I'm not going to be able to get anything accomplished. No matter what else I want to get done, all the press is going to want to talk about is the hearings. This may be my last year in office, I want to get some things accomplished, and I don't want to spend the whole year talking about this." 

"All valid reasons, Jed, but what's the real reason?" Jed was silent for a few moments. It was uncanny how Abbey could always cut through all the bullshit and see right into his soul. 

"Because in my heart I know what I did was wrong. My motives were not evil by any stretch of imagination, but even if it meant losing the White House for the Democrats, I should have come forward. We always taught the girls to take responsibility for their actions. I haven't been doing that. It's time that I accept responsibility for making a mistake. I need to accept the blame and move on." 

"You need to confess and be given absolution." 

Again, there she was cutting right through it all, knowing his psyche better than he did. 

"Is that so wrong?" 

"No, it's a part of who you are, who you have always been and always will be." 

"Do you think my accepting the censure makes me a quitter, Abbey?" 

"No," she said softly. "I think it's one of the bravest damn things you've ever done. You could fight this and most probably win, but you're right, at what cost? I know what it would do to you if you came out of this pretty much unscathed while everyone around you was torn to shreds. And I know that if you don't do this, you'll carry the guilt with you the rest of your life." 

"Leo will try to convince me not to do it." 

"I know. He'll feel that he's responsible and he won't want this blot on your Presidency. But, he doesn't know you as well as me." 

"Nobody knows me as well as you." 

"And that's why I can accept what you're doing. You are doing what is best for YOU, Jed, along with what is best for everyone else, your administration and the country. You're right, it's time for this to end and for us all to move on." 

"You still have the medical board." 

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." 

Jed hung up the phone feeling light years better about his decision. Abbey had understood exactly how he felt. Now it was time to make Leo understand. 

++++ 

Despite knowing that he had made the right decision, it was not easy for Jed to accept the congressional censure. It was just another slap in a face that had been slapped too many times. Going back to the empty residence didn't help matters. He didn't feel he had anything to return home for so he ended up staying very late working in the Oval Office. 

Sammi entered the office late one evening to see the President staring into space. He looked so tired and so lonely and so heartbreakingly attractive that all her plans to seduce him fell to the wayside and she knew tonight would be the night. She wanted to bury her hands in Jed Bartlet's thick hair and feel his mouth on hers. She wanted to kiss away his pain and loneliness and she wanted to feel him pounding away inside her right here in the Oval Office. Just the thought of how forbidden it all was made her pulse race. Jed Bartlet was a married man, he was the most powerful man in the world, and this was the Oval Office. 

"Sir," she approached him, "I need your signature on these." She placed a pile of papers in front of him. Jed began to peruse the papers with a lock of hair falling onto his forehead. Sammi reached out a finger to push the hair back into place. Jed's head snapped back at her touch and he frowned at her. Before he could utter a word, Sammi shocked him by sitting down right on his lap. She pressed her lips to his, her tongue pushing its way into his mouth. She crushed her breasts into his chest at the same time that she ran her hand knowingly across his crotch and gave a soft squeeze. 

Jed jumped to his feet as if shocked by a live wire causing Sammi to fall ignominiously to the floor. 

"What in God's name do you think you're doing?" Jed gasped, wiping the back of his hand across his lips to rid himself of her lipstick. 

Sammi jumped to her to her feet, a bit put out at having been basically thrown off of him. 

"I want you, Jed," she moved closer to him. "It's just sex. Abbey doesn't ever have to know what goes on between us." She reached a hand out to try to stroke his chest. Jed took a step back out of her reach, his shock being replaced by simmering anger at her audacity. 

"Young lady," he boomed, "It's Mr. President and Mrs. Bartlet to you. You are standing in the Oval office and I am the President and a married man to boot. Don't you have any respect?" 

"Y...yes," Sammi's lip began to tremble. She knew men, and somehow she knew this was the way to cool Jed Bartlet's anger. "I'm sorry...I just thought...you've been so lonely and I'm very attracted to you. I just wanted to help," she began to cry 

"Damn," Jed muttered "Don't cry." He hated tears, had always felt ill at ease around that emotion. 

"I...I'm sorry," she cried even harder. "I'm just so embarrassed. I thought you might be interested." 

"Why on earth would you think that?" 

"It's been my experience with my other bosses that men in Washington aren't exactly faithful." 

"Well I am faithful to my wife," he looked at her curiously. "You've had these relationships with your other bosses?" 

"Yes, they sort of expected it," she looked up at him through wet lashes playing on his sympathy and Jed was reminded of his daughters. He shook his head with disgust. 

"You should have some respect for yourself, Samantha," he said sternly. "Sex is not something you just give away to anyone." 

"Yes, sir," she said contritely. "Please don't fire me. I really need this job." 

"I should boot you out on your ass for this little stunt." 

"Yes, sir," she looked so young and apologetic, he actually felt sorry for her. Jed sighed. 

"Look, you only have a couple days left. I'll let you stay for these last two days but if you ever attempt a stunt like this again, I'll have the Service drag you out of here." 

"Yes sir, thank you," she turned to leave. As she walked away she was filled with an even stronger desire to have the President. She had tasted his lips, touched him carnally, and his outrage and devotion to his wife only made her want him more. There was nothing she loved more than a good challenge. 

+++++ 

Leo awakened on the couch in his office as he often did. A gaze at the clock told him it was 3:30 in the morning. He groaned debating whether to bother going home or just stay here for the night. It was then that he noticed the band of light under his door that led to the Oval Office. He opened the door, running his hand through his hair sleepily. 

Jed was stretched out on his couch with paperwork. 

"What paperwork is so important it has you here at almost 4 in the morning?" 

"I'm checking off my Christmas list." 

"At 4 am?" 

"Yes," Jed looked up seeing the concern on Leo's face. "I'm not sleeping well lately." 

"So I've noticed. You never sleep well when Abbey is away." 

"This is different." 

"How?" 

"I'm not sleeping at all." 

"At all?" his brow furrowed. "For how long?" 

"This is the fourth night. I try but I end up just tossing and turning." 

"Have you talked to Abbey about taking something?" 

"Not Abbey, she'd come rushing home and I don't want that. I got Hackett to give me a sleeping pill but it goes into effect at inopportune times." 

"You can't continue on like this. You need to be sharp. Maybe you should talk to somebody." 

"What? Like a psychiatrist?" Jed asked skeptically. 

"Yes, have you ever been to one?" 

"No. Well not a psychiatrist anyway. After Abbey was raped, I went to a couple appointments to see her therapist with her." 

"Did it help?" Leo asked gently. 

"Yeah," he admitted, "I guess it helped me sort through my feelings and understand how Abbey was feeling." 

"So maybe I should call that guy Josh used to see after his father's death. What was his name? Stanley?" 

"Yeah," Jed said, his eyes downcast. He hated to admit that he needed help. Damn Toby anyway. Bringing up his father right now on top of everything else had not been a good thing. He was still too raw over discussing the man with Ellie, then the censure coming right on the heels of that conversation, and now this. How had Toby known? What had tipped him off? It had been a secret shame for so long that bringing it out into the open the way Toby had, had been like picking a scab off a particularly deep wound and had left him feeling raw and exposed. 

++++ 

Abbey sat in the living room of her parents home surrounded by boxes and wrapping paper. Christmas carols played on the radio and she sang along while wrapping presents. Nicholas and Aislinn sat playing in their playpen to her right where she should keep her eye on them. She smiled as she watched Nicky give up his rattle to his sister and Aislinn gave him a drooling smile. It was so different having twins. It never failed to amuse her to watch the way they communicated with each other, even as babies. Sharing the space in her womb for eight months had formed a magical bond as strong as the one she shared with them. She was smiling and watching their antics when 'Jingle Bell Rock' gave way to 'I'll be home for Christmas'. Her smile faded and she was surprised to feel the prick of tears in her eyes as the poignant Christmas carol tugged at her heartstrings. It had been a long time since she and Jed had been apart this long and it was so hard, especially at Christmas. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up into her mother's sympathetic face. 

"Homesick?" Beth asked. 

"A little. But we'll all meet up in New Hampshire soon." 

"Abbey..." the ringing of the phone interrupted what Beth was about to say. 

"Hello," Abbey answered. 

"Hi Abbey, it's Leo." 

"Hey Leo. What's up?" 

"I need you to come home." 

"What? Why, what's wrong?" Abbey asked urgently. Leo knew her first fear was that Jed was sick. 

"Jed needs you. He's not dealing with the censure well and he and Toby had some kind of falling out that seems to be really affecting him. He won't talk to me about it. He isn't sleeping and he's becoming a wreck. I set up an appointment with Josh's old psychiatrist tonight, but I think what he really needs is you." Abbey knew it had to be serious for Jed to agree to seeing a psychiatrist. The only reason he had gone to see her rape counselor was because he thought he was helping her, not himself. 

"Why didn't he tell me? We talk everyday, sometimes more than once. He keeps telling me everything is fine." 

"You know Jed. He doesn't want to burden you. He knew you would come home and he wants you to do what you need to do." 

"Well, I guess what I need to do is get home to him. I'm on my way, Leo." 

++++ 

Jed felt strangely restless after his session with Stanley. The man had dredged up feelings inside him that he had suppressed for so long he had thought they were gone. Feelings he thought he had dealt with. Evidently that wasn't the case. 

He made his way down the hall to the empty nursery. It was so barren here without his family making all that noise and all those demands that kept him in the present, away from the soul searching that only brought him pain. He moved forward, running his finger over the rail of Nicky's crib. He remembered how scared he had been when Elizabeth was born. How afraid he was that some part of his father lived inside him and he wouldn't be able to love his child. Afraid that somewhere deep inside him there lay violence ready to be unleashed upon an innocent little soul. His fears had been unfounded. He had fallen in love with his slippery, squirming, squalling newborn daughter the minute the doctor took her off Abbey's belly and handed her to him. Abbey had known from the beginning that he would be overcome by love and that he would be a good father, but HE hadn't known it until that moment. As his daughter grew and her sisters came along, his love had only grown stronger. 

Then, almost a year ago, when he had watched Nicholas slide out of Abbey's body and seen the tiny penis, evidence that he finally had a son, there had been joy, but also a niggling doubt in the back of his mind. Part of him wondered if the protective love he had for his daughters came from the fact that they were girls, the "weaker" sex. It scared him to think that his feelings for his son might be different. They weren't, not in the least. He felt that same surge of protective love when he looked at his son that he did with any of his daughters. 

He left the emptiness of the nursery and made his way down to the Oval office intending to lose himself in some work. However, things did not quite go as he had planned. As he sat at his, desk little flashbacks of his childhood kept filling his thoughts making work impossible. 

(When he was four) 

"For goodness sake, Jed, stop carrying on like a baby, it's just a skinned knee." 

"John, he's only four years old." 

"He needs to toughen up, Emily. Men don't cry, Jed. Bartlets don't cry." 

(When he was six) 

"Why are you digging a hole out here, Jed?" 

"Snowball died last night. I'm burying him," Jed bit his lip. At the tender age of six he had already learned that to cry in front of his father meant anger and ridicule. 

"That stupid rabbit your grandfather gave you?" 

"Snowball wasn't stupid. He was smart and he loved me." 

"Don't back talk me, boy," the smack across the face sent Jed sprawling over the hole he was digging. 

(When he was 8) 

"Jed, why are you wearing those robes?" 

"Father Callahan made me a junior altar boy," his big grin revealed a missing front tooth. 

"Your mother is bound and determined to turn you into a little papist pansy." 

"I'm not a pansy, Dad." The pain seared through Jed's shoulder as his father wrenched his arm behind his back. 

"Don't tell ME what you are. I know exactly what you are. You are a little smart aleck and you're far too big for your britches." 

(When he was 10) 

"Dad, I got first place in the spelling bee," Jed pushed a lock of sandy blond hair back off his forehead impatiently. 

"You?" The snort was derisive. 

"Tell him, Mother," Jed urged. 

"He did, John," Emily said proudly. "You should have seen him. He was so calm, so poised. He did us proud tonight." 

"Must have been easy words." All of Jed's excitement and pride in himself deflated at that cold statement. He turned, his shoulders slumped, and he headed back to his bedroom. 

"You did good tonight, Jed," Jon whispered in the hall. 

"Not good enough," Jed glanced back at the door to his father's study. 

(When he was 12) 

"Dad, Coach is pitching me in the game today against Holderness. Can you come watch?" 

"Why would he pitch you?" 

"He say's I've really put some heat on my fast ball and..." 

"Jed, I've watched you practicing with Jon. You can't even throw a decent curve." 

"Coach said my curve is really coming along nicely." 

"Are you saying I don't know my baseball?" The fingers digging into Jed's arm caused him to cringe. 

"No sir...it's just that Coach Snyder said..." The quick hard backhand left a red imprint on Jed's face. 

"Your precious Coach Snyder doesn't know ANYTHING about you. He doesn't know how you'll choke under pressure." 

(When he was 14) 

"Dad, I made the basketball team." 

"Aren't you a little short for basketball?" The statement brought Jed up short and he stopped dribbling his ball. 

"Coach says I'm quick and I'll make a good guard. I know I'm not one of the best players but..." 

"Not one of the best?" The sarcastic laughter stung Jed to the core. "You'll be lucky to keep up." 

(When he was 16) 

"Well, well, Jed. I didn't think you had it in you." The voice caused Jed to pull back from the girl he was kissing so intently behind the gym where the school was having a mixer. "Wait a minute," he turned the flashlight on the girl's face, "you didn't come here with the girls from Mrs. Chase's Day School." 

"No, sir," the girl admitted. Jed's heart ached for Colleen's nervousness. After all it was he, who after getting to know her at the library where she worked part time, had convinced her to come to the mixer. 

"I should have known. A townie, Jed?" The look in Jed's fathers eyes caused Colleen Anderson to flee from the prep school that she had known she had no business being at. The only reason she had come was Jed Barlet's big blue eyes and his sweet, kind nature. 

"Dad, that wasn't very nice. Colleen is..." 

"I'll be even less nice if you knock up one of these little townie girls." The finger pointing into his chest hurt. "Those girls are after one thing and one thing only, to hook up with one of you rich prep school boys." 

"Colleen isn't like that, Dad. She..." 

"Quit thinking with your hormones, Jed. Use those damn brains you're so proud of. There are women you sleep with and women you marry. You want to carry on with one of these townies, you better protect yourself. I will NOT see you marry one of these girls." 

(When he was 18) 

"Dad, did you hear that I was voted class president?" 

"Of course I heard. You're the headmaster's son, they wouldn't dare vote against you." All the hard work Jed had put into the election suddenly meant nothing. 

(When he was 21) 

"Dad, I just asked Abbey to marry me and she said yes." 

"I hope you're going to wait until you get back from London." 

"No, we want to get married this summer." 

"Look, I know that Abbey is real little looker but you don't have to marry her to sleep with her." Abbey entered the room at the moment and the blush on her cheeks confirmed what John had thought upon seeing his son's flushed features and the hay in his thick hair. "Then again, it looks you I don't have to tell you two that. On HOLY Easter Sunday too, my goodness, what would the Pope think?" John mocked. 

"Shut up," Jed's voice was deadly. 

"What did you say to me?" There was astonishment in his voice as he grabbed Jed's wrist trying to twist it. Jed yanked his hand out of his father's grip. 

"You may think that you can talk to all of us like that, but you will NOT talk to Abbey that way. She is going to be my wife and YOU are going to show her respect." 

"Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?" 

"Thanks to Abbey I'm just starting to find out who I am. I am the man who is going to walk out of here with my fiancee if you can't keep a civil tongue in your mouth." 

(When he was 22) 

"What are you two doing huffing and puffing like that?" 

"We're practicing Lamaze. I'm helping to teach Abbey how to breathe." 

"Abbey doesn't know how to breathe?" 

"It's a technique in childbirth that is becoming quite popular. It helps a woman use different breathing methods to handle pain and deliver a baby naturally. We're going to try it." 

"What do you mean 'we're'. You mean she is?" 

"No, he was right. WE are going to try it. Jed is going to be a big part of this. He has to coach me through everything because with all the pain, I won't be able to remember which techniques I should be using." 

"You're going to be IN there? In the delivery room...when the baby is born?" 

"Yes. I want to be there to help Abbey and I want to see my baby born." 

"A man has no business being anywhere near a delivery room. Any man who would want to watch something like that is just sick." Jed watched his father walk away and felt Abbey squeezed his hand reassuringly. It was funny, but since he had met Abbey his father's disdain and sarcasm didn't hurt nearly as much as it used to. She was what mattered now, not him. 

(When he was 37) 

"Your mother said Abigail hasn't gotten out of bed in two days. You need to snap her out of this, son." 

"We just lost a baby, Dad. She spent hours in agony only to deliver a son who was too little to survive. Jesus Christ, let her grieve." 

"I don't understand how she can have that much grief for a child that never existed." 

(When he was 40) 

"Seaton just called me, Dad. He's conceding. I won the election. I'm the new Governor of New Hampshire." 

"Of course you won. You're a Bartlet. With that name, a monkey could have won the election." His eyes locked with Jed's daring him to contradict. Jed could have thrown out the fact that he was only 40 years old, a liberal Democrat in a Republican state, but none of that would have mattered to John Bartlet. Instead, he turned to go and celebrate with his wife and daughters who were giddy with excitement and pride. 

++++ 

Jed got to his feet and opened door to the outside. It was pouring out and the wind blew the rain right onto the portico. Jed ignored the fact that it was 45 degrees and he was getting soaked. He stood, letting the rain pelt his body trying to cleanse himself of the bitterness and the anger he still felt toward the man who had fathered him. 

"Jed." The voice was soft and gentle and for a moment he thought he was still day dreaming. He turned slowly around and there she was. Abbey. 

Chapter 6 

"Jed." The voice was soft and gentle and for a moment he thought he was still day dreaming. He turned slowly around and there she was. Abbey. She stood in the doorway the lights of his office illuminating her from behind. He blinked twice for a moment thinking he was conjuring her up from his dreams. 

"Abbey," he choked. She moved toward him, slowly at first. She felt the cool rain begin to drench her body but ignored it, instead focusing on the man standing before her. His hair was wet and shaggy, his blue eyes blazing with need and intent, and when he opened his arms, she sped up racing into them. 

"Oh God, Abbey," he crushed her to his body, his lips grinding into hers with a feverish kiss. "I need you...God, I need you so much." 

"I'm here now, Baby," her fingers dug into his hair as she kissed him back with as much passion as she was getting. "Everything's OK now...I'm here...I'm here." 

"Things get so fucked up when you're gone." 

Their kisses were open- mouthed, hot and hungry, the rain making them more wet and slick. Their tongues tangled in a frenzy. Abbey clung to Jed with need and desire. Jed pulled her even more firmly against him, his hands sliding down her back to grip her rear and pull her fully up against the bulge that was growing in his pants. Abbey rubbed against him feeling him grow harder against her belly. 

"I want you so much, Jed," she breathed. 

"What brought all this on?" He asked 

"You just looked so sexy out here all wet and tousled," she nipped at his bottom lip. 

"I make you weak in the knees?" He sunk his teeth lightly into her earlobe. 

"At the moment," she sighed, "but you'll be weak in the knees with pneumonia if you don't get inside and dry off." 

"I'll go inside if you dry me off," he cupped her face in his hands and began to kiss her amorously again. He couldn't seem to get enough of her mouth, enough of the taste of her. "God, I love you," he groaned against her lips. 

"Mr. President, I have the..." Josh stopped when he saw the First Couple in a lip lock. 

"Go away," Jed growled, one hand still on Abbey's breast. 

"Did you show him?" Leo said, stepping out next to Josh. 

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," Jed groaned with frustration. He stepped out of his wife's embrace. "That's it, I'm getting my wife's cute little ass up into our bedroom before we get interrupted again." Jed noticed both Josh and Leo's eyes riveted to Abbey. He glanced over and noticed that the rain had plastered the T-shirt she was wearing to her chest. Her nipples were distended with a combination of the cold and arousal and the fabric clung to them. Jed shrugged quickly out of his suit coat, placing it over her shoulders and pulling it tight in the front to shield her nipples from the other two men. 

"Good night, gentlemen," Jed glared at them then put an arm over Abbey's shoulders leading her toward the residence. 

"Well, if nothing else he'll have more fun not sleeping tonight," Josh leered. Leo flashed him a dirty look and walked away. "What?... what did I say?" 

+++++ 

Jed felt he showed remarkable restraint in not touching Abbey until they made it to their bedroom, at which point he shut the door behind them and pulled her back up against him. Abbey gave a sexy purr as she felt the evidence that the walk over had not caused him to completely lose his erection. His hands cupped over her full breasts, tweaking her chill hardened nipples between his thumb and forefingers. She tore at his shirt pulling it open to expose his chest. Her mouth ran over his jaw to his neck and then was wildly wet over his chest. Her hand ran over the front of his straining pants until Jed felt he would burst through his fly. Abbey acknowledged his discomfort by unbuttoning and unzipping his pants to take his satiny hardness into her hand making him gasp with pleasure. At that moment he knew he wouldn't have any control tonight. He needed to be inside her, needed it NOW. He pulled her T-shirt up over her head and discarded her bra in short order. Abbey was sliding out of her jeans and hadn't even gotten them off her ankles when Jed pushed her gently but forcefully down on the bed and fell on top of her. She kicked the jeans off the edge of her toes just as he grabbed her legs to pull up over his waist. He didn't waste any time getting down to business and in one fluid moment he thrust into her hard and deep. Abbey cried out with a combination of pain/pleasure, as her body was not quite prepared for his fierce onslaught. 

"Sorry," Jed groaned against her neck. 

"S'OK, don't stop." Jed knew there was no way he could stop. He had been denied this too long. His mouth latched on to her nipple and he began to thrust fiercely into her. Abbey writhed underneath, him reveling in his forceful possession. It wasn't long before Jed felt his body tensing, filling. He tried to prolong it wanting to bring Abbey with him, but she was just too much for him tonight. 

"Oh God Abbey...Shit...I'm sorry," he groaned as his orgasm pulsed through him and he began to climax inside her. Abbey ran her fingers through his hair over his back and his arms. Her own body ached with unfulfilled desire and she nearly screamed with frustration when Jed withdrew his hard fullness from her body. She closed her eyes, taking deep shallow breaths to calm her racing blood. Because her eyes were closed, she wasn't expecting Jed's first stroke between her legs and she arched off the bed with soft low moan of pleasure. 

"What are you doing?" She gasped 

"What does it feel like?" He grinned. "I'm apologizing for my ungentlemanly behavior with that slam bam, thank you ma'am. You didn't come." 

"It's OK, Jed," she sighed, biting her bottom lip as his finger slid inside her and his thumb stroked the throbbing center of her passion. "I want to talk." 

"Well, that's too bad because I want to make you come." He bent his head to flick his tongue over her nipple while his fingers, slicked by his earlier release inside her, stroked and caressed and penetrated. It didn't take long for Jed to achieve his goal and he took her cries of ecstasy into his mouth as he kissed her. He left his fingers just where they were so he could feel the quivering, pulsing contractions he had caused. 

"Better?" he asked, kissing her closed eyelids. 

"Much," she gazed up at him with soft green satiated eyes and stretched out languidly. "But I still want to talk." 

"I thought you might." 

Abbey reached over the side of the bed to snag Jed's discarded dress shirt and shrugged into it. Jed smirked when she couldn't button it up since she had ripped all the buttons off in her haste to get him naked. 

"Another shirt gone," he sighed. 

"Yeah, well, my Victoria's Secret underwear and lingerie bill is pretty huge in itself." 

"Well, you know, gorgeous, if you didn't look the way you do I wouldn't have to tear your clothes off. Maybe they should come up with a line of Velcro underwear and lingerie so it wouldn't have to be replaced so often." 

"Or maybe you should learn to have a little bit of restraint," she lay sideways across the bed, curling up with her cheek on Jed's torso in the position she knew he found easiest to talk in. 

"Who needs to show restraint?" He asked, opening the top of the buttonless shirt. 

"OK, WE could learn to have more restraint," She looked up into his eyes and they both laughed, as they said "No" at that same time. Both knew the bills for the President's dress shirts and the First Lady's underwear would continue to be exorbitant. 

"Jed," she said, rubbing her cheek against the crinkly hair on his belly. "What's going on? Leo said you aren't sleeping and you're seeing a psychiatrist about it." 

"Yeah, I had my first session with him tonight. He's the guy who helped Josh after his father's death." 

"Why didn't you tell me when we talked?" 

"Because you just finished telling me how special and important your time with your mother has been for you and I knew you'd rush back if I told you how I was struggling." 

"You still should have told me. Do you have any idea of what the problem is?" 

"I think you know as well as I do," he twirled a strand of her hair around his finger. It was easy to talk in this position because he had the comfort of Abbey in his arms without seeing the pain and compassion in her eyes. 

"You've been thinking about your father." 

"Part of that wound opened up when I talked to Ellie, and then a little more with the censure, but Toby ripped it wide open." 

"Toby?" Abbey frowned. "How does he know about your father?" 

"He guessed. He was upset with the way I answered a question. He said that he believes there are two Jed Bartlets, the real me and the one who tries to be an everyday kind of guy in order to get more votes in some kind of misguided need to win my father's love." 

"There are two Jed Bartlets," Abbey admitted, "but they aren't separate entities, they are just part of who you are. You're a complex person with many layers, Jed. There isn't anything wrong with being a brilliant Nobel Laureate and an everyday kind of farmer." 

"I guess he thinks maybe I play down the Nobel Laureate part just to get those votes. And he guessed that my Dad used to hit me. He told me my father hated me because I was smarter than he was." 

"Damn him," Abbey swore. She couldn't believe Toby had opened this can of worms, especially right now when Jed was so vulnerable to it all. "You are smarter than your father was, Jed, but he didn't hate you. He may have been jealous of you but he didn't hate you." 

"Sometimes I think he did. God, my relationship with him is so muddled and confused inside me. Did I hate him or did I love him? Did I prefer him trying to control my life or his complete indifference?" 

"Toby didn't know your father, Jed. Believe me, there is a part of me that will always hate him for how he treated you, especially when you were growing up," she pressed her lips into his belly kissing lightly, "but I also caught him watching you rolling around on the floor laughing and tickling Liz, Ellie, and Zoey with this almost wistful expression. I think at times he wished he could be the kind of father you were." 

"You sure you weren't imagining that?" His fingers stroked through her hair absently. 

"I'm sure. And there was pride on his face the day you took the oath to become Governor." 

"A title he thought was easily won," Jed scoffed. 

"That's the thing, Jed. I think some parts of him felt love and pride but the jealousy was stronger. He didn't know how to express any emotion other than anger and sarcasm." 

"I guess I've just never been able to understand that. As soon as I became a father, I knew what an incredible love it is that a parent has for a child. I knew the fierce need to protect that fragile, vulnerable life we created. I could never imagine berating my kids, putting them down, or deliberately trying to hurt hem. I've always been so proud of them, Abbey, and all I've ever wanted is the absolute best for them." Tears filled his eyes and Abbey gave a comforting stroke to his arm. "I hold Nicholas in my arms and I honestly hope that he turns out to be twice the man I am. I want so much for him, for all my kids." 

"That's because you're not your father, sweetheart. Jed, you can't continue to do penance for the rest of your life. Your father was a bastard. You didn't make him that way. You were the kind of boy any man would be proud to have for a son. The fact that he wasn't shows how completely warped he was, not some defect on your part." 

Jed squeezed her shoulder trying to keep his emotions in check. 

"Stanley was right. He said that the bar keeps being raised for me. I guess no matter what I achieve it will never give me back a childhood where my father loved me and didn't hit me. It won't ever make my father love me." 

"He's dead, Jed. You have to let this go. I love you. The girls love you and you have two new babies who love and need you." 

"I know that. Don't think I don't count my blessings every day. If God gave me a shitty father in exchange for an incredible wife, I'd have to stay that it was a more than a fair exchange." He pulled her up his chest and began to kiss her, this time slow and leisurely. As he moved his head to suck lightly on her collarbone, his eye caught the clock by the bed. 

"Shit," he groaned, "it's almost two. I have an overseas phone call I have to take at two. Sammi should have it all set up." 

"Don't go," she whispered tangling her fingers in his hair. 

"Ah Abbey, I have to," he gently kissed her lips then sat up. He turned to see her all sexy and rumpled in his gaping shirt, lying back among the blankets. "Come with me," he said. 

"What?" 

"Come with me for the phone call, then we can have a snack in the kitchen, and come back here so I can make love to you properly" 

"Hey I have no complaints about earlier, but if you insist," she smiled. 

They slipped into their bathrobes and, before leaving the residence, Jed pulled Abbey into the nursery. Aislinn and Nicholas were both sleeping soundly looking very sweet and innocent. Those fragile, vulnerable souls Jed had referred to earlier. 

"He's still sucking his thumb," Jed whispered softly as he stared down at his son. 

"Mmmhmm," Abbey murmured, running her hand up and down his back. 

"And she still kicks her socks off," he gazed down with adoration at his daughter. "God, I missed them, Abbey." He placed his arm around his wife's waist and the two of them headed for the Oval Office. 

++++ 

Sammi sat in the dark Oval Office waiting for the President to arrive. She knew there was no way he could resist her like this. Tonight she would know what it was like to make love with Jed Bartlet. She frowned as she heard soft laughter that got louder as the door was opened. She waited for the lights to turn on but the room remained dark and she head the low flirtatious voices of the President and a woman. 

"I don't HAVE to take that phone call," Jed said, kissing that spot just under his wife's ear that made her crazy. "This is a heck of a lot more fun." 

"Jed," Abbey warned. 

"This IS one of the few rooms we have yet to christen with lovemaking, if you don't count the bathroom." 

"Jed, take the call, just hurry up for God's sake." 

Jed chuckled deep in his throat and hit the switch flooding the room with light. He gasped in shock at the sight before him and Abbey's eyes widened in stunned disbelief. For there, sitting on the edge of Jed's desk, was Sammi wearing nothing but a sheer pink lace teddy. 

"Well, hello, Mr. President," she said, her fury at Jed's arrival with the First Lady in tow evident. "I've been waiting all night." 

Jed's initial shock immediately turned to fear. Fear of what Abbey was going to think had gone on while she was away. 

"Abbey," he said urgently. "This isn't...I mean nothing has gone on between..." 

Abbey quelled his stammering with a fierce glare. She belted her robe tighter around her waist and moved forward toward where Sammi sat on the top of Jed's desk. If Sammi had known the First Lady, she would have been more fearful of the sparks that were snapping in her green eyes as she approached. 

"What in the HELL do YOU think you are doing in here?" Abbey's voice was icy, deadly. 

"I think that's pretty apparent," Sammi said with a saucy bravado she didn't really feel. She was furious that Abbey Bartlet had come home early and had obviously just had the man she longed to be with. And, just like the proverbial scorned woman, she lashed out. "You have been gone an AWFULLY long time. I thought you were supposed to be so smart. A smart woman wouldn't leave an attractive man like Jed all alone for so long." 

"Jed, is it?" Abbey's voice was dangerously calm. 

"Abbey, I swear, nothing..." 

"Jed," she snapped sharply and put her hands up to keep him quiet. She then turned back to the woman sitting on her husband's desk. "So, you thought you'd try to seduce MY husband?" Her eyes ran scornfully over the scantily clad woman. " Honey, you didn't have a chance," her sarcastic laughter filled Sammi with anger. 

"Oh really?" Sammi raised an eyebrow. "We'll never know, will we?" 

Fury and fear raged within Jed. He wanted to strangle Sammi but it was obvious that Abbey wanted to handle things. 

"Oh yes, we'll know. Take a good look at him, Sammi," she turned to point at Jed. "That is the most powerful man in the world and YOU are a CHILD." Abbey gave her another disdainful once over. "He needs a WOMAN. Did you honestly believe I would think that you could offer him more than I can?" Abbey's sarcasm was biting. 

"I'm every bit as much a woman as you are," Sammi fumed. 

"Honey, you aren't even close," Abbey snorted. 

"Not by a longshot," Jed added, putting an arm around Abbey's waist. "I suggest you make yourself decent before I do what I said I was going to do if you pulled this crap again and call in the Service to boot your ass out." 

Abbey's eyes registered shock at Jed's statement that this had happened before, but she wasn't going to let on in front of Sammi that she didn't have any knowledge of that. 

"Yes, Jed, why don't you call them in to take out the trash," she said sweetly. 

Sammi furiously began to dress, her eyes filled with tears of thwarted passion and humiliation. 

"Oh, and just to let you know," Abbey whispered to Sammi as two agents began to lead her out, "the President hates pink." 

After the door shut and Sammi was gone, Jed sighed with relief. 

"You scared the hell out of me with those looks you were giving me. I thought for sure you were going to believe her." 

"You're not off the hook yet, mister," the anger was still present in Abbey's voice. 

"Abbey, you know nothing went on between us." 

"I know you didn't sleep with her. But why didn't you tell me she made a pass at you before?" 

"I didn't want you freaking out and making me fire her." 

"And pray tell, why not? It didn't bother you?" 

"Of course it bothered me. I knew she had a little crush on me, but after she made the pass, she was so embarrassed and sorry. She knew she had made a mistake and she started to cry." 

"Oh Jed," Abbey said, shaking her head. She knew exactly what tears did to him. Sometimes her husband could be incredibly naÏ¯ve when it came to women. 

"She only had a couple days left and she promised my rejection of her advance was the end of it." 

"Just what kind of pass did she make at you?" Abbey's eyes narrowed. 

"Abbey," he was obviously reluctant to tell her. 

"Jed, I want to know." 

"OK, OK...she sat on my lap and kissed me," his cheeks began to turn red with embarrassment. "And she ran her hand over my crotch and squeezed me." 

"That little BITCH!!" Abbey fumed. "I can't believe she felt you up." 

"I was a little surprised myself." 

"What did you do?" 

"I jumped to my feet and dropped her on her ass," Jed chuckled at the memory and Abbey couldn't help but join him as she envisioned the scene. 

"It serves her right," Abbey grumbled. "But you should have told me, Jed. If I had known she grabbed your crotch, I would have pulled that bitch's hair out strand by strand." 

++++ 

"Is all your shopping done?" Jed called out from the bathroom where he was showering and shaving. 

"Pretty much. How about you?" Abbey called back to him. 

"Pretty much. There is one thing left though. I'd like to get the twins a puppy." 

"A PUPPY!" Abbey exclaimed. 

"Yeah, every kid should have a puppy. The girls always had cats and dogs and all those rodents." 

"Hamsters and guinea pigs," Abbey grinned. "I think it's a bit early for a puppy Jed. They aren't even a year old yet. Maybe next year. You'll be an even bigger hero when they actually know what a puppy is." 

Abbey moved toward the dresser to start unpacking her toiletries. She glanced down at a well-worn magazine that lay on top of her dresser. It was her Christmas edition of Victoria's Secret, only it looked like someone else had gotten to it first. She opened the magazine laughing softly at all the bookmarked pages and circled items. 

Jed came whistling out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He was rubbing another towel over his wet hair. Abbey stood with one hand on her hip and the incriminating evidence in the other. 

"You do realize that this subscription is made out to me, don't you?" she asked. "Are these items you're planning to purchase or was I supposed to take the hint?" 

"Well," he drawled. "It did get a little lonely without you here. I had to find a way to occupy my time," he put his hands on her hips pulling her a little forward. 

"Don't you dare, you're still soaking wet," she dug her feet in to keep from moving. "So it's like a girlie magazine for you?" 

"Hardly," Jed laughed. "I just figured I'd circle all the stuff I like and we could go through it together and see what we want buy. You know, make a night of it." 

Abbey smiled and took the towel he was using to dry his hair to run over the rivulets that were rolling down his chest. It was nice that after all these years her husband would still want to make a night out of picking out lingerie for her together. 

++++ 

"How do I look?" Jed asked as he stepped out of the Oval Office bathroom into the office where Abbey was waiting with the twins. 

"Oh, Honey, now this is a sexy look for you," Abbey looked him up and down. 

"Really? You like it?" 

"Oh definitely. Red is really your color, and the added girth and sexy white beard? Oh my, my, my, be still my heart. Aislinn, what do you think of Santa?" Abbey looked down at her daughter who wasn't quite sure what to make of the man who sounded like her father but didn't look like him. 

"Come see Santa, little girl," Jed held his arms out but as soon as he took her Aislinn began to cry with fear. 

"Oh, don't cry sweetie," Abbey chuckled softly. She leaned forward with Nicky on her hip to stroke Aislinn's back. "It's just Daddy. Jed, show her it's you." 

"Nicky's doing a fine job of that himself," Jed told her. Abbey turned to see Nicholas tearing at Jed's big fake white beard. "Sunshine, look, it's me. It's just Daddy." Jed pulled the beard away from his face in an attempt to get Aislinn to calm down. Her crying slowed a bit but she was still a little confused. 

"Put her down to play and I'll fix your beard," Abbey told him. "We can't have you going to play Santa at St. Mary's Children's Hospital with your beard all askew." They each set a baby down and Abbey began to play with his beard. 

"Since you find me so appealing like this, would you like to be the first to sit on Santa's lap?" He sat on the couch and beckoned her forward. 

"Well, yes, I would," she smiled as she settled herself down on Jed's now very cushioned lap. 

"Now little lady, have you been a good girl this year?" 

"Oh I've been a VERY good girl, Santa," Abbey teased. 

"Do you have proof of how good you've been?" 

"You could ask my husband. I think he'd vouch for me." 

"Why don't you show Santa how nice you are to your husband?" 

"Well, it starts off like this," Abbey leaned forward pushing Jed's mustache and beard apart to find his lips and give him a kiss. 

"Oh yes, that's very nice. You are a good girl. Continue on." 

"Mr. President," there was a knock on the door and Charlie's head popped in. Jed remarked yet again at how nice it was to have Charlie back and Sammi gone. "It's time to leave for the hospital. Are you ready?" Abbey got up from Jed's lap and moved to gather her children. 

"Yes we're all ready," Jed turned to see Abbey in her festive red dress holding the twins who were in their Christmas outfits. He smiled at the attractive picture they made. After the four of them attended the Christmas party at the hospital, they were having some Holiday pictures taken for the wiretaps. Then, tomorrow after Mass, Jed had a very special Sunday planned for his wife. 

++++ 

"Jed, are you or are you not going to tell me where we're going?" Abbey asked. She was sitting in the back of the SUV in the jeans, sweater, and boots Jed had told her to dress in. 

"I told you, just a nice Sunday drive." 

"We don't do nice Sunday drives anymore. And really, I have so much to do so we can leave for New Hampshire." 

"I promise you, you are going to enjoy this." 

Abbey stared out the window at the landscape. They were about 15 minutes from Washington and had been driving in rural countryside for a while, but now she saw a sign proclaiming 'Port Harmony est. 1730'. Port Harmony turned out to be a small, quaint pre-Revolutionary town set right on Chesapeake Bay. Abbey noticed antique shops, art galleries, bookstores and cafÏ©'s, along with a General Store and an old fashioned, one screen movie theater that boasted it was playing 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone'. She wondered if Jed was taking her out to lunch and little shopping and browsing through the art galleries. They used to enjoy taking Sunday drives around the state or to Vermont or Massachusetts and do just that before he was President. Sometimes, with the girls safely with the housekeeper, they would find a romantic Bed and Breakfast and spend the night reveling in being together, just the two of them, not Mom and Dad, not Dr. and Dr., or Gov. and Dr., but just Jed and Abbey, lovers. She took Jed's hand and smiled at him, enjoying just the pleasure of an uninterrupted day with him. 

She was surprised when the car continued right through town. They passed well-tended Victorian and Colonial houses and were soon climbing a hill with woods on both sides. 

"Here, let me put this on you," Jed took out a handkerchief he had folded into a blindfold. 

"You want to blindfold me?" She asked incredulously. 

"As a matter of fact, I do." 

"Is this something kinky?" She said warily. 

"It's nothing kinky," he assured her. "But it can be if you want," he whispered into her ear as he placed the blindfold over her eyes. Abbey gave a soft laugh at the predictable response and felt the car turn off the main road. It seemed that they drove for quite a while before finally coming to a stop. Jed hopped out of the car and reached in to help Abbey out. 

"Can I take my blindfold off now?" 

"Yes Miss Impatience," he grinned. He untied the blindfold. Abbey's eyes widened. There in front of her was a large, white Colonial style farmhouse that was very similar to the one they shared in New Hampshire. However, this one had a big red ribbon running horizontally and vertically across its length to form a bow. 

"Jed, what is this? What's going on?" 

"Merry Christmas, sugarplum." 

"This is...this is ours?" She asked with disbelief. 

"For as long as we live in Washington. We can spend some weekends here and plan getaways just like you wanted." 

Abbey's eyes took in the wide porch that ran the whole side of the house, then swept to the barn and the rolling hills and woods that sloped down to the blue, glistening expanse of Chesapeake Bay. She could see the town of Port Harmony in the distance. Turning back to where they came from, she couldn't even see the main road. The driveway was obviously very long and lined by thick forest. Complete and total privacy. Her eyes began to swim with tears as she looked into Jed's grinning face. He was just beaming with the pride and happiness he took in giving her this gift. 

"Do you like it, sweetheart? Are you mad I bought it without..." Abbey silenced him by jumping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. Her enthusiastic response caused him to fall back against the SUV. 

"I LOVE it!" She exclaimed. "This is one of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten," she began kissing all over his face with enthusiasm. 

"I guess I don't have to wonder if you like it or not," he laughed. When she tried to let go, he hooked his arms under her rear to keep her where she was. 

"Subtly has never been one of my strong points," Abbey admitted against his lips. "But do you know what the best part of this present is?" 

"The privacy?" Abbey shook her head no. "The water?" Again no. "The barn?" Another negative shake and Jed gave up. "It's the fact that you listened to me. When I told you how much this meant to me, you were really listening." 

"Yes, I do that sometimes," he tucked a strand copper hair behind her ear. "Well, now that I have you in such a good mood, how about that puppy?" He looked like such a little boy it made her heart flip. 

"Next year, Jed," Abbey groaned, rolling her eyes, "next year." 

Chapter 7 

"Abbey, are you ready to go yet?" Jed asked as he entered the nursery where Abbey was filling diaper bags. 

"Just about. What's the rush? The plane won't leave without us." 

"I want to get home. We only have a couple days to prepare for Christmas." Abbey smiled at his excitement. Jed had always been like a little kid at Christmas, especially when the girls were little. Now, having the twins for their first Christmas, had brought back that excitement. 

"Is Zoey even here yet?" 

"Yes, she's here, she's packed and she's ready to go, so let's get a move on, woman." Abbey put her hands on her hips and lifted her brow at him. 

"OK, OK, what can I do to help you get moving a little faster?" 

"You can put Aislinn's coat on. Nicholas is all set." 

Jed pulled his daughter out of the playpen and laid her on the changing table to put her little fleece jacket on. Abbey smiled as she heard him singing "Up on the Housetop" while he zipped Aislinn's coat. She walked up behind him and put her arms around his waist to look over his shoulder at their baby girl who was smiling so adoringly at her father. Abbey knew exactly how her daughter felt. 

"This is going to be a good Christmas, Jed," she kissed the side of his neck. 

"Yes, it is," he agreed. "That is if we can ever get it started," he lifted Aislinn into his arms. "Are you ready?" 

"I'm ready," she smiled and lifted Nicholas. 

"Then let's go home." 

++++ 

Michael and Beth O'Neill stood on the porch of their daughter's home watching she and her family approach. The fields were blanketed with snow and the ice on the pond gleamed under the bright winter sun. They were all dressed in ski parkas, hats, and boots to brave the single digit temperatures while they had been out searching for, and cutting down the Christmas tree Jed and Zoey were now dragging behind them. Abbey walked in step with them pulling a toboggan that held Nicholas and Aislinn strapped in under a heavy wool blanket. 

"You want to bring the tree in now, Dad?" Zoey asked. 

"Not yet. I'm going to help your Mom bring the little puffalumps in first then we'll do the tree," Jed looked down at the twins in their toboggan and couldn't help but grin. Abbey had pulled the hoods of their snowsuits so tight all that was visible were four big owl eyes and two red noses. 

"Mom, Dad, you made it," Abbey said as she trudged up the stairs with Aislinn. 

"Of course," Beth told her. "I wasn't going to miss my grandkids first Christmas." She began to untie Aislinn's hood. "Oh goodness, look at those rosy cheeks," she bent to kiss her granddaughter and then her grandson as Jed approached with him. Jed couldn't believe the change in Beth. The last time he had seen her, she had looked old and ill. Her words had been very slurred and she had had a bit of trouble moving her left side. Now, other than speaking just a tad more slowly, he never would have known she'd had a stroke a mere six weeks ago. The sparkle was back in her eyes and the color back in her cheeks. 

"Mom," He set Nicholas on the floor so he could give her a big hug. "I can't get over how good you look." 

"Thank you sweetheart," she kissed his cheek. "I give Michael and Abbey all the credit. They wouldn't let me quit even when I wanted to." 

"It wasn't just us, Mom," Abbey was unzipping the twins out of their snowsuits as she spoke. "You worked damn hard." 

"I wish I'd been able to get back and help out more," Jed took the snow dampened mittens Abbey handed him and placed them on the radiator. 

"Well, I'd say you had a few more important things on your agenda," Beth smiled. "This country can't exactly run itself just because an old lady would like to see her son-in-law." 

"Old lady?" Jed exclaimed with mock outrage. "I don't see any old ladies here." 

"Bless your heart, darlin'," Beth touched his cheek with a chuckle, "but there's that Irish blarney in ye," she feigned a thick Irish accent. 

"Tis' not the blarney at all," Jed gave a good impression of his grandfather's heavy brogue. "Y'er only as old as ye feel. Age is a complete state of mind." 

"Ah, Abbey darlin', can I keep him?" She teased as she pinched Jed's cheek. 

"I think Daddy might have a problem with that," Abbey grinned and put her arm around Jed's waist. 

"Yes, lay off son. You already have one of my women," Michael joined the teasing banter as he was looking out the window by the door. "Who is that driving up?" he asked. Abbey joined him to peer out. 

"Oh, that's Elizabeth, Jay, and Annie. They went to pick Ellie up at the airport." She turned back around just in time to see Nicholas crawling up the fifth step of the stairs leading to the second floor. 

"Jed, stop him!" She gasped. Jed turned and quickly dashed to scoop his son off the stairs. 

"Buddy, that wasn't such a smart move. You aren't even walking yet." Nicholas squirmed wanting to get down and try again. Abbey put her arms out to take him. 

"You just scared the daylights out of me, you little daredevil," she kissed the top of his soft blond head. Nicholas looked up at her with wide, innocent, blue eyes. He knew just how to charm his mother. 

"That one is going to be a handful," Beth laughed. 

"Just like his father," Abbey sighed. 

++++ 

The Bartlet farmhouse was alight with candles in the every window and the Christmas tree was twinkling away in front of the big bay window. Music and laughter spilled through the doors as Jon, Sally, and Emily arrived laden with gifts on Christmas Eve. 

Inside Ellie was playing the piano, Jed sat next to her singing 'Oh Come All Ye Faithful' with Aislinn sitting on his lap in a pretty red velvet dress and white tights. Annie was seated on the floor bouncing Nicholas on her on her knees and everyone else was crowded around the piano singing. Everyone but Abbey. 

Jon placed his gifts under the tree then gathered his wife and mother's coats and moved to the hall closet to hang them. As he moved past the library, a movement caught his eye. He peered in and saw Abbey standing in front of the fireplace looking incredibly lovely as usual. She was wearing a long, wool, slim fitting, cream and red plaid skirt and a cream colored cashmere mock turtleneck sweater. Her auburn hair was loose and snapped with color in the firelight. She held a picture in her hand and the sad, wistful look on her face drew him in to her. 

++++ 

Abbey had gone into the library to find a book she had recommended to Elizabeth. Upon walking toward the shelf, she had paused at the computer desk to pick up a picture of the Bartlet family that Jed kept there. The picture was certainly not a study in warmth. Neither parent was touching the two young boys standing in front of them. John Bartlet stood with the stern, severe expression she remembered so vividly on him and Emily looked aloof and regal. Jed was a skinny young boy of about 12 or 13. He stood stiffly in his suitcoat, his face dominated by big, serious blue eyes. She ran a finger over the glass as if she could push back the lock of hair that fell over his forehead. Her heart ached at his vulnerability. He, at least, was trying to smile, but it was a hesitant, uncomfortable smile. His arm was around his younger brother whose face held not even the glimmer of a smile. It still amazed her at how Jed had become the warm, loving self-confident man that he was after coming from such a cold, barren, emotionless background. 

"That was taken the Christmas I turned 10," Jon said from behind her. 

"Jon," Abbey turned around, startled. Jon took the picture from her hand and gazed down. 

"Look at how cold my parents are," he said. "Thank God for Jed. Even at 12, he was looking out for me." 

"Jed isn't happy unless he's looking out for someone." 

"He was a great big brother," Jon said fondly. "Even though he was only a year and a half older than me, I looked up to him like nobody else. To me Jed was a golden boy. He had such patience with me. He never bullied me like my friends' big brothers did with them and he always let me tag along with him. I think because of the way our father was he felt such a sense of responsibility for me." 

"He's been really struggling with that emotional conflict lately." 

"I thought the censure might bring all that back to the surface. His relationship with Dad was so much more complicated than mine was. You know, as much as I love Jed, there were times that I hated him." 

"Of course. You were brothers." 

"Not because of the usual brotherly reasons though. It was mainly because Jed refused to fly under the radar. Not only did he get good grades, he had to be damn near a genius. God, that used to just drive my father crazy. Sometimes I wished Jed would just slack off so my father wouldn't be so bitter and angry with him. I know he was afraid to speak up to our father but that never stopped him from doing it. Damn, did he have guts. I always stayed under that radar trying so hard not to draw any attention to myself. I was the coward. Jed was the brave one. But boy, did he pay the price for that." 

"You both did what you had to in order to make through to adulthood. Don't be so hard on yourself." 

"Do you tell Jed that?" 

"All the time," Abbey smiled sadly. 

+++ 

By the time Jon and Abbey refilled their eggnog glasses, the singing had stopped. They stepped into the living room where everyone was crowded around Jed who sat with a baby on each knee and was reading from a big red book. 

"T'was the night before Christmas, When all through the house Not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse..." 

Abbey smiled watching Aislinn trying to tug Jed's glasses off, and Nicholas pulling at the buttons on his shirt. Jed studiously ignored their busy little hands and continued to read from his book. Yes, Abbey thought, in spite of everything his father had done to him that sweet, responsible little boy had grown into a loving, kind, gentle man. 

++++ 

It was almost 1:00 am when the entire Bartlet family returned home from midnight mass. While everyone else went straight to bed, Abbey went in to check on the twins and stood, watching them sleep. Her hand moved to her now flat belly, remembering how heavily pregnant she had been at this time last year. It was hard to believe she hadn't even known these two remarkably precious creatures last Christmas. That she hadn't even known if they were boys or girls, or whether she would deliver them safely, or if they would be born too small and have health problems. And now lying here sleeping peacefully on this night of miracles were her own two little miracles, her new son and daughter. 

Jed stood in the doorway enjoying the purely maternal tenderness emanating from his wife as she stood gazing down at their offspring. He watched her gently pull the covers back over them and trail a finger lovingly over the top of each head. He entered the room and placed his hands on her shoulders. 

"You thinking about last Christmas?" 

"Yeah. I can't believe we didn't know them last year and now they are two separate and distinct little personalities." 

"Last year, they were just pictures from inside your belly. Your gift to me." 

"And it was this night we decided if we had a boy we'd name him Nicholas to commemorate that." She ran a finger over her son's back. Nicholas stirred slightly in his sleep and pulled his thumb back into his mouth and began to suck. 

"We should go," Jed whispered. "We still have a lot of work to do." 

++++ 

"That's the last of it," Jed said placing a big, soft, stuffed rocking horse under the tree. Despite the fact that they were less than a year old, Jed and Abbey had kept the twins' 'Santa' gifts hidden and were just placing them under the tree now. While Jed had filled in under the tree, Abbey had been stuffing the stockings that hung on the mantle over the fire. 

"Not quite the last of it," she said, coming forward with a flat wrapped gift. "You'll get your big gift tomorrow but this one is a little more personal." 

"That sounds intriguing," he reached for the package and began to tear at the paper. He looked puzzled at first upon seeing a black portfolio. But, his confusion turned to astonishment when he saw what was inside. The portfolio consisted of page after page of glossy 8X10 glamorous, sexy pictures of his wife. Some were actually pretty racy, and while she wasn't naked in any of them, the suggestiveness in the photos made that even more tantalizing. 

"Who took these pictures of you?" He let out the breath he had been holding. 

"Harry Nilsson, the guy who took my Vogue photos." 

"These aren't the Vogue shots, are they?" He looked worried. 

"Do you think I'm crazy? Of course those aren't the Vogue shots. I asked him to take some personal pictures that I could give you for Christmas and he cleared the studio to do these. Do you like them?" 

"LIKE them?" He turned the page to a photo of Abbey kneeling on the bed wearing nothing but a man's dress shirt that was completely unbuttoned leaving a column of naked skin from throat to thigh. The slopes of her breasts were visible, as was her belly button. Her hands demurely closed the shirt over the white lace panties there was a mere glimpse of, but there was nothing demure about the sultry look she was giving the camera. 

In another photo her back was to the camera and she was holding a sheet over her breasts, a sheet that dipped provocatively low in the back. She was looking over her shoulder and the slender expanse of her back was completely bare all the way to her rear. 

In yet another one she stood wearing white, filmy spaghetti strapped negligee leaning with her cheek against what looked like a pillar of the White House. Her languid green eyes were staring straight into the camera. 

The second to the last page held a photo of her lying across a brocade loveseat. One arm was flung behind her head and her neck was tipped back allowing her russet hair to spill over the arm. She was completely naked except for a sheet draped strategically over her breasts and hips. 

In the last photo she sat at a vanity table, her hair pulled up and wispy long tendrils escaping to curl along her slim neck. She was wearing only a black silk slip with slim straps that crossed in the back. She was yet again looking over her shoulder as if her lover had just walked into the room. Jed was stunned by her alluring femininity. These were all looks he had seen before, but seeing them in large color photos was entirely different. It was incredibly erotic seeing her this way. And while the pictures were provocative and sensual, they were also done with innate tastefulness. There was nothing smarmy or dirty about them. In fact, they played up Abbey's combination of sexual elegance to a tee. 

"Abbey, I don't know what to say. Of course I like them. You...you're absolutely breathtaking." He couldn't take his eyes off the alluring pictures. "But I can see why you didn't want me to open this tomorrow morning." 

"It might have been a little embarrassing," she admitted. "Then again, it might have been worth it just to see the expression on your mother's face." 

++++ 

Annie let out a loud squeal of delight as she ripped the paper off the large gift in front of her to see the fancy new saddle she had been begging for. 

"Gramps, THANK YOU!" She jumped to her feet to rush over and give Jed a big hug. 

"You're very welcome, Tinkerbell," he winked at her knowing she would let him get away with the endearment she hated so much on this morning anyway. 

"Thank you, Gram," she turned to hug Abbey. 

"You're welcome, sweetheart," she kissed Annie's cheek "Lancelot is going to be the best tacked horse on the circuit next summer." 

"I can't wait to try it out." 

"Look at this, he's finally getting the hang of it," Jed said. He was sitting on the floor with the twins. Nicholas and Aislinn sat in their little reindeer sleepers that stated "Baby's First Christmas", amidst piles of balled up wrapping paper. He and Abbey had started to tear the paper, trying to teach the kids how to open their gifts. But, in the beginning both had been more interested in trying to play with, and eat the wrapping paper. Now however, Nicholas was pulling paper from a gift and at the encouraging words from their father, Aislinn reached over to help him. 

"They'll be old pros for their birthday next month," Beth laughed. She was feeling very blessed this holiday to have been spared by the Lord to share yet another milestone with her family. 

Everyone had begun to clean up the wrapping paper and Abbey started to follow her mother and Emily into the kitchen to start to prepare the big brunch for everyone. Jed caught her under the mistletoe and pulled her into his arms. 

"So," he whispered into her ear, "I'm still a little hot and bothered by those pictures you gave me last night." 

"They really got to you, huh?" 

"Oh yeah, and now I want to use my big gift. When do you think we can christen it?" 

"Well, not today," she laughed. "How about New Year's Eve?" 

"You're gonna make me wait a WEEK?" 

"I think you can make it. Besides, at that point, everyone will be gone and we can have our own little private New Year's party." 

"Now you're talking, Mrs. Bartlet, now you're talking," he pointed up at the mistletoe and proceeded to give her a big Christmas kiss. 

++++ 

"Are you all packed?" Abbey asked. She entered Ellie's bedroom just as her middle daughter was zipping her suitcase closed. 

"Pretty much," Ellie sighed. 

"I'm glad you and Zoey decided to go up to Waterville Valley. You'll have fun celebrating New Year's Eve up there." 

"Mmm...," Ellie shrugged non-commitally. Abbey sat down on the edge of the bed and watched Ellie stuff her ski goggles and gloves into a duffel bag. A ski weekend was just what her two daughters needed right now. 

Both had been moping around slightly now that the Christmas holiday had come and gone. Finding themselves without boyfriends during the holidays was a blow to both of them. Ellie was obviously still reeling from the Davis Hunter fiasco, but it was equally obvious that she hadn't entirely gotten over him. 

Zoey's hurt was a little more raw. She and Charlie had broken up just after Thanksgiving, and while it had been a mutual agreement, it was still a tough adjustment. 

Abbey hadn't been all that surprised by the break up. The fact that they had stayed together as long as they had was the surprising part. Charlie was the kind of young man every mother would want her daughter to date and she was no exception. He was polite, kind, and respectful and he obviously cared very much for her daughter. But, there just had never seemed to be that spark between them. A lot of people said that opposites attract, but the differences between Zoey and Charlie were just too great to overcome, especially in a couple so young. Neither of them was really ready for the compromises it would take to make the relationship work. 

Charlie had been forced at a very young age to take life very seriously. Between taking care of his sister, his classes, and making his living by being at the beck and call of the President, it didn't leave much time for a girlfriend like Zoey. And, as much as she loved her daughter, Zoey was definitely a high maintenance girlfriend. She smiled with affection, thinking that Leo had referred to her just that same way when Jed had begun to date her. 

She and Jed had tried their best to instill a strong social conscience in all of their daughters. All three had spent many days and evenings in soup kitchens, sorting clothes at St. Vincent de Paul, and playing with the Fresh Air kids their parents took in most summers. But, in spite of all that, it had been a privileged upbringing and Zoey simply didn't have the worries or weight on her shoulders that Charlie carried. She was a fun-loving, carefree coed away from home for the first time and she wanted to have fun with her boyfriend. She wanted Charlie to cheer with her at Georgetown basketball games and accompany her to campus parties, and the fact that he wasn't able to do so, had been a constant point of friction. Many had been the night that Abbey had spent on the phone listening to her daughter lament that fact. 

She knew it was conjecture on her part, but she also knew her second youngest daughter pretty well. She figured part of Zoey's attraction to Charlie had been the fact that he worked for her father. She loved to tweak Jed as much as Jed loved to tweak her. But that certainly wasn't the basis for a relationship. Abbey figured the only thing that had kept them together this long was their very real friendship and their shared stubborn desire not to let the narrow minded people who were against their relationship win. 

In any case, Abbey was not sorry they had broken up. She just wished that Zoey had met Charlie later, after she had her degrees. She knew she was being a hypocrite but she wanted her daughter to learn and have fun and just absorb everything that was going on in her life right now. 

"Earth to Mom," Ellie said, waving a hand in front of Abbey's face. 

"Sorry," Abbey apologized. "You know, Ell, with everything being so crazy we haven't had much time to talk. How are you doing with everything?" 

"I still miss him, at least the part of him that was funny and decent and not filled with rage," Ellie admitted. "Isn't that crazy?" 

"Not crazy at all. As horrible as he turned out to be, you did love him Ellie. He was the first man you loved as an adult and, as much as I want tear him limb from limb for how he treated you, I do know that you can't help how you feel and who you love." 

"Mom, can I ask you a question?" Ellie sat down next to her. 

"Of course." 

Ellie had always loved that when her mother stated "you can talk to me about anything" she actually meant that. It wasn't just lip service the way it was for most of her friends' mothers. Abbey had always been very honest with them, even with the tough stuff like sex and drugs, and that in turn helped them to be honest with her. 

"Did you always want to have a husband and children AND be a doctor or did that just happen because you met Dad and couldn't help falling in love with him?" 

"No," Abbey smiled. "Long before I met your father, when I was still a little girl, my first dreams were for having babies, lots of babies. Then, as I grew older, I changed that dream to a husband and babies. I was in high school when I added doctor to the dream. Why?" 

"Because I don't know how you did it. With medical school and now residency, I just don't know how I can have a serious relationship. I've begun to think that maybe I'm just not cut out for being one of those women like you who can have it all." 

"Oh honey, you're having a rough patch right now, that's all," Abbey stroked Ellie's hair back from her face and looked deep into those beautiful Bartlet baby blues. "Right now is a crazy time for you. Believe me, I remember. But one day you are going to meet the right man. This man will look past all the craziness in your schedule and see the real Ellie Bartlet. The Ellie Bartlet who is lovely and sweet and generous and funny, and who has a beautiful soul. And when you meet this man, you will do anything you have to do in order to make the relationship work. It certainly wasn't easy for your father and me, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy, that's what makes it special." 

"It's just so hard to meet someone who isn't put off with all the hours I have to spend at the hospital." 

"When you meet the right man, he'll feel your dreams are just as important as his and you'll feel the same about him. Of course that means you will have to be ready for some big time compromising." 

"Like when you gave up the Peace Corps for Daddy?" 

"Yes, I did that. And he gave up a full Professorship at the London School of Economics right after he got his doctorate so he could come home and work part time as an assistant Professor at Dartmouth and care for Elizabeth so I could go to Harvard. If there is anything I've learned, baby, it's that you have to be willing to give and take or you'll never make it in a long term relationship." 

"Did you miss not going into the Peace Corps?" 

"A little. But your Dad gave me back that dream a few years later." 

"How?" Ellie looked puzzled. 

"Remember the summer we spent in Guatemala?" 

"How could I forget?" Ellie wrinkled her nose immediately recalling the heat, the smell, and the bugs of the refugee camp, along with the pride she had felt in watching her mother move briskly throughout the village in her white lab coat to administer to the people. The villagers in the refugee camp had looked up to her mother as if she was an angel of mercy. That was when Ellie had decided to follow her footsteps into medicine. 

"We had to live in that hut without a TV, or electricity, or even indoor plumbing so you could help those earthquake refugees." 

"What you didn't know was that the Church had been looking for volunteers to go down and help out for a little while. They especially needed doctors, but most of the young doctors who would be willing to take on an adventure like that couldn't afford to take three months off without pay thanks to all those medical school bills. I really wanted to do it, but you girls were young and I couldn't imagine spending three months away from you. It was your father who came up with the idea of us all going down as a family in the summer when you, he, and Elizabeth were on school break. That way he could look after you all while I worked. I don't think your poor father knew what he was getting into," Abbey gave a soft laugh at the memory. 

"Zoey was barely three and newly potty trained and he had to spend hours with her in that stinky old outhouse because she wasn't used to being in a bathroom like that and refused to go. I told him to revert back to diapers and we'd just retrain her back home, but he was having none of that. If those village kids could go in that awful outhouse, so would his daughter, he was not going to raise any prima donnas." 

"That sounds like something Dad would say," Ellie laughed. "What happened?" 

"Eventually Zoey began to use the outhouse. Your father is nothing if not tenacious." 

"I remember him gathering up all the village kids and even some adults and teaching them English and all about irrigation and stuff. He even taught them how to play baseball and we used to have these big baseball games," Ellie smiled at the memory remembering that she had felt the same pride in her father that she had in her mother. The pride in her father came from watching him teach and converse with the villagers in their own language and the fact that the village kids trailed behind like he was the pied piper. Yet, at the end of the day, he was HER father and she was the one who got to go back to the hut with him. She was the one he tucked in and read bedtime stories to and that made it a little easier to share him during the day. 

"Your father always does throw himself in to everything with 110% effort. But, what I'm trying to point out in this round about sort of way, is that when you find the right man there will have to be some sort of give and take and sometimes the giving will be even sweeter than the taking." 

Chapter 8 

"Make yourself comfortable," Jordan said as she and Leo entered her apartment. "I'm going to change into something more comfortable," she flashed him a seductive smile and moved toward her bedroom. Leo smiled back at her and began to work at his bow tie. Once that was discarded he started to unbutton the top buttons of his shirt as he sank down onto her couch. 

He and Jordan had been on a few dates since she had represented him at the hearing and both had know when he invited her out for this New Year's Eve party that tonight they would take their relationship one step further. Leo hadn't thought much about it, but now all of the sudden he was nervous. He hadn't been with a woman since he had split with Jenny. And, other than a few one night stands that he barely remembered from his drinking days, Jenny had been the only woman that he had bedded since he was 18. To say he was feeling a bit of performance anxiety was putting it mildly. 

He picked up a magazine off Jordan's coffee table and absently flipped through the pages. He wasn't paying much attention to anything he was looking at, that is until he came to a page that held a large glossy photo of a woman he knew very well. It was Abbey Bartlet wearing a strapless gold lame sheath; her flaming hair loose and sexy and a come hither look in her eyes. Images began to flash like darts through his brain. 

The Secret Service agents he'd overheard in the hall outside his doors. 

"Did you hear about those lucky sons of bitches up in Maine. They got to follow the President's sailboat while he and the First Lady went for a little romantic moonlight cruise." 

"Yeah, so?" 

"Let's say things got VERY romantic. The First Lady was half-naked and she went down on the President right on the deck. Jesus, she is one hell of a woman, I can't believe I missed it." 

Leo shifted uncomfortably. He was disgusted with himself at the image that came to his mind of Abbey on her knees doing just that, but for HIM, not the President. He leaned back against the couch cushions and closed his eyes as if that would shut the images away. It did just the opposite. The images came fast and furious. Abbey dancing in her bikini top and sarong on the 'Abigail Anne'. Abbey all naked bare limbs twisted in the sheets with Jed. Abbey, her silk robe parting to reveal the slope of one creamy breast as she leaned over to take her daughter out of the crib. Abbey, the exquisite purring moans and soft gasping whimpers she uttered while making love, and the way she had looked in those pictures Ron had brought into the Oval Office, naked, her back arched, her legs wrapped... 

"Reading Vogue now, Leo?" Jordan asked with amusement. 

Leo gasped with guilt and dropped the magazine as if it were on fire. 

"J...just waiting for you," he said. His eyes moved appreciatively over her body in the pale blue peignoir she had changed into. 

"Looks like you've gotten a bit of a head start," she eyed the slight bulge in his tuxedo trousers and sat down on the couch beside him. She covered his lips with hers and began to run her hand over that enticing bulge. 

This was something entirely new for Leo. He wasn't used to having a woman as the aggressor, Jenny had rarely initiated sex. He gave himself over to the sensations his body had been deprived of for so long. He kissed her back fervently, his lips moving down her jaw as his hand slid inside the lacy negligee to cover her warm soft breast. 

"Oh God, Abbey," he groaned "I want you so bad, Baby," his plea was full of desperate emotion. Jordan froze in his arms and pulled back with a look of stunned disbelief. 

'What?" Leo asked puzzled. 

"You bastard," she slapped him across the face. "Who the hell is Abbey?" 

"What?" Leo asked rubbing his sore cheek. He knew how stupidly asinine he sounded but he didn't understand how Jordan could haven gotten into his head and known what he was thinking. 

"Abbey. You just called me Abbey when you said how much you wanted me. Just who is this Abbey that you want so much?" She moved to get to her feet and happened to glance down at the magazine Leo had dropped earlier. It was opened to a full-page gorgeous picture of Abbey Bartlet. She realized at that point that the bulge in Leo's trousers had little to do with her and could only be attributed to the woman in the picture. Her eyes widened with shock. "Oh my God," she gasped, "the Abbey you want is MRS. Abigail Bartlet, the wife of your best friend." 

"Jordan, it isn't what you think." 

"Why don't you tell me what it is, Leo?" 

"It's complicated. There's nothing going on between Abbey and me. There never has been. I'm the one who's had the infatuation all these years, she's pretty much oblivious. There are a lot of things going on right now that have made me think of her that way again." 

"Sexually?" 

"Yes," Leo, admitted with shame. "I wish I didn't, believe me. I'd give anything not to feel this way about her, but I do." 

"I think you better go now, Leo," Jordan slipped her robe back on. "Don't call me again, at least not until you've worked through whatever it is you're feeling. I can't let you make love to me knowing that you'll be closing your eyes and pretending that I'm Abbey Bartlet." 

"I'm sorry, Jordan. I really like you. I wanted this to happen tonight." 

"Me too," she sad sadly. "But THIS can't happen until you can put your feelings for the First Lady aside. Good bye, Leo," she kissed his cheek with a sigh. "Happy New Year." 

+++++ 

The First Couple entered their home well after midnight on New Year's Eve. They were laughing and slightly tipsy from all the champagne consumed at Governor Jeanne Shaheen's New Year's Eve party at the Marriott. 

"OK, the house is empty and we are all alone. You did promise me we would christen my gift tonight," Jed said. He took her hand and began to lead her toward the French doors that lead to the outside. 

"Wait," Abbey admonished him. "You go up and check on the twins and meet me back down here in say 10 minutes." 

"10 minutes," Jed said, looking at his watch to make sure he knew exactly when he could come back. He turned to go but Abbey stopped him. 

"Before you go, can you unzip me first?" She lifted her heavy hair off her shoulders and Jed slowly unzipped her dress allowing his fingertips to graze the skin down her spine. He felt her shiver and pressed a kiss into the soft tender nape of her neck. 

"Jed, you better go," she sighed "or we aren't going to make it outside." Jed gave one last look at the tantalizing slender column of her back then turned to go and do as she had asked. 

Exactly 10 minutes later Jed was back downstairs and ready to go but Abbey wasn't there. In her place lay the silky dress she had worn that evening. He looked toward the French doors and saw a black lace slip lying puddled on the floor. He moved forward and picked it up drawing it to his face and inhaling the scent of her deeply. He smiled and began to follow her trail of discarded clothes. At the doors he found her garter belt and nylon stockings and added it to the collection in his arms. By now his trousers were beginning to feel a little snug with the anticipation of how he would find his wife. He stepped out onto the deck and saw the black lace bustier lying just beside the bubbling hot tub. 

"You're a little overdressed, honeybear," the purring seductive tone of Abbey's voice brought his eyes up to the hot tub and he nearly groaned at the sight. When he had stepped outside she had been sitting low in the water with just her head and her pale shoulders visible. But now she stared straight into his eyes and boldly sat up revealing her bare breasts. Her hair was damp and curly from the steam and the water sluiced down over her body the way his tongue wanted to. He watched a droplet of water settle on her nipple and he felt an electric jolt of desire from his nipples to his belly to his penis that was now painfully hard in his trousers. Abbey gave a seductive smile as her eyes settled on his waist and she licked a drop of water from her lips. 

"Christ, Abbey," he muttered, tugging at the buttons on his shirt, "I'm going to come just looking you." 

"You better not," she teased, "I want you inside me for that." Jed paused in his ministrations to look into her beautiful hazel eyes which had gone smoky with desire. He began to work at his clothes faster and nearly fell on his ass when his foot got stuck in his pant leg. 

"You take your shoes off first, Einstein," she grinned. She was thoroughly enjoying the sensual power she had over him right now. She had the President of the United States tripping over his own feet to get to her and make love to her. 

The fact that it was about 10 degrees out certainly didn't make things any easier in getting his clothes off, but finally, Jed flung his boxers off. He gasped as the icy air hit that extremely sensitive part of his body and he watched with dismay as his powerful erection deflated. 

"Don't worry about it," Abbey gave a throaty laugh. "Hop in and I'll warm you back up." 

Jed moved from the frigid air and slid into the extremely hot bubbling water next to his wife. 

"Since you sat up, I've been dying to do this," he dipped his head and his tongue snaked out to lick the drop of water off her nipple. Abbey gave a low moan and slid her soft wet body against his rougher male one. 

"Since you walked outside aroused, I've been dying to do this" she placed her hand between his legs and began to stroke him back to life. 

Jed's wet hands began to slide over her body expertly knowing where to touch. Their lips met in a tender gentle kiss they both knew would soon be aflame with passion. 

"I love you, Abbey," he said against her lips. "Happy New Year." 

"Happy New Year, babe." 

++++ 

In an apartment in Washington DC, Marcus Hughes lay in the arms of Lori, his supposed girlfriend. Since the incident where he had sent the pictures to Abbey, he had been laying low. Security had been tightened around her and he figured it would give them a false sense of security if he did nothing for a while. But he couldn't wait much longer. The rage was building every day. The need to see her, touch her, possess her grew stronger with each passing moment. An immense feeling of arousal overtook him every time he thought about seeing the fear in her eyes, seeing her weak and defenseless and most of all making her beg him. Oh yes, Abbey Bartlet would beg him this time. 

"You've been sending Mrs. Bartlet letters?" Lori asked. 

"Yes," he hated how she referred to her as Mrs. Bartlet. 

"She'll never get them." 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Unless it's private coded mail, everything is filtered by her secretaries and chief of staff and anything irregular is sent to the Service. " 

"So she hasn't gotten any of those letters?" He hissed. 

"I doubt it. Look, don't take it so badly. There is another way," she ran her hand over his chest coyly. Marcus swallowed the bile in his throat at this woman's touch. It was not her touch he desired or wanted. "I can sneak something in past the secretaries and put it in her office or in the Residence." 

"You'd do that?" He tried to sound genuinely appreciative. 

"I don't like her anymore than you do. It might be fun to see her squirm a little." 

Yes, it would, Marcus thought but not in the way she was thinking. He rolled over and eyed the glossy photo of Abbey in Vogue magazine. He had warned her not to flaunt herself, warned her that she would be punished. But, Lori had just said that she probably hadn't seen his warnings. Maybe it was time he warned her in person, just the thought of touching her again made his blood pump with excitement. Yes, that's what he would have to do, warn her in person. 

"Hey, it's midnight, Marcus. Happy New Year." 

"Happy New Year," he said, reluctantly accepting her kiss. Happy New Year, Abbey, he thought. 2002 is the year we will finally be together. You will finally be mine. 

The End! 


End file.
